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Marriage is a comprehensive union of spouses with a special link to children alongside the norms of monogamy, stability and exclusivity (Girgis, George and Anderson, 2010). Although there are race and ethnic variations in attitudes and expectations towards marriages, it is a central feature of nearly every culture and religion (Crissey, 2005). Gupta (1976) described marriage

19 Sexual fantasies, feelings, thoughts and behaviour

as an immemorial institution for family establishment, production of children and securing social and economic positions of family; which is embedded within the social structure with expectations influenced by various social, cultural, structural, economical and individual factors. Young people with strong religious beliefs positively associate themselves with marriage expectations in contrast to the young people with limited cultural or religious beliefs, who are more likely to have positive attitudes towards premarital sex and cohabitations (Manning, Longmore and Giordano, 2007; Soons and Kalmijn, 2009). Although singlehood is considered as a lifestyle and modern way of living in many western countries to express individualisation, young people in general are more positive about having cohabiting relationships (Thornton and Freedman, 1982; Poortman and Liefbroer, 2010). Cohabitation is becoming popular amongst young people due to growing social acceptance and many see it as a pathway or preparation for marriage; expecting to marry at some point in their life span (Manning, Longmore and Giordano, 2007).

This indicates that the practice of marriage is still favoured by the majority of populations around the world.

The institution of marriage remains popular amongst South Asians in the UK and they are likely to be married during their lifespan compared to other minority ethnic groups (Goodwin and Cramer, 2000). Marriage and family formation among the Asian population is seen as linking families to meet broader social obligations and is considered as the bedrock for a strong society (Jones and Yeung, 2014). South Asians are viewed as collectivist in nature, where people are interdependent within their groups and familial relationships take priority over individual preferences (Ghuman, 2000;

Triandis, 2001). Marriage within the South Asian community is seen as a social and economic bond for religious and cultural groups to strengthen the community; which is largely experienced in the form of an arranged marriage, where women are considered as a ‘gift’ and are expected to leave their family in order to move into their husband’s home after marriage (Bhopal, 2011). The arrangement of such a marriage is made by families and relatives, who take the initiative to introduce prospective brides and grooms to each other; usually on the basis of family reputation, socioeconomic conditions, education,

religion and caste (Allendorf and Pandian, 2016). The understanding of arranged marriage is sometimes confused with and complicated by the understanding of forced marriage, which is a significant issue for all South Asian communities in the UK (Phillips and Dustin, 2004; Gangoli, Razak and McCarry, 2006). The Home Office (2017) report shows that the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) has provided advice and support to 1,428 victims, mostly young females below the age of 25. In forced marriage, the prospective partners have no choice and one or both victims are coerced into the marriage against their will (Chantler, Gangoli and Hester, 2009). On the contrary, in arranged marriage: the prospective partners have their say while making their choice and have the freedom to accept or reject the marriage proposal (Uddin and Ahmed, 2000).

Today, the practice of arranged marriage is shifting where there has been a substantial decline in arranged marriages and apparent growth of love marriages within the South Asian communities around the world (Allendorf and Ghimire, 2013; Allendorf and Pandian, 2016). In love marriage, young people choose their own spouse for love and make an arrangement to marry with or without the agreement of families and society. As young people are increasingly involved in non-familial activities²⁰, more parents are willing to allow young people to interact with potential spouses and have their say in the spouse selection process (Ghimire et al., 2006). The increasing participation of women in higher education provides young females with further opportunities to negotiate their personal choice and independence within families, against traditional social structures (Bhopal, 2011). Pande (2015) asserts that an increasing number of South Asian females are able to navigate their way around the strict cultural expectations in order to negotiate with family members about their preferred choice of spouse for the marriage.

Besides the intergenerational differences, there are increasing numbers of young people self-introducing their spouses to their family networks²¹; where

20 Non-familial activities during childhood and early adulthood include education in schools, nonfamily work, nonfamily living, interaction with the media, participation in youth groups and other young people’s activities independent from family.

21 I discuss this as ‘love arranged marriage’ (See section 6.5)

they exercise their personal choice and aspiration of marriage together with their family (Goodwin and Cramer, 2000).

Arranged marriage within Nepalese society is a family custom that varies greatly among different ethnic groups, castes, religion and localities; which range from the custom of dowry, bride price, exogamous, endogamous, polygyny or polyandry (Ghimire et al., 2006). Castes play an important role in the cultural practice of marriage among the Nepalese population (Allendorf and Thornton, 2015). Arranged marriage supports the caste system and maintains the kinship ties, which is an important feature of Hindu community (Ghuman, 1994; Charsley and Shaw, 2006; Allendorf and Ghimire, 2013).

However, the significance of an arranged marriage is decreasing and there is an increasingly dominant pattern of arranged marriages where prospective partners are involved in the decision-making process together with their parents, rather than their parents alone making the final decision about the marriage (Allendorf and Pandian, 2016). The transformation of arranged marriage into love marriage is widely seen amongst Nepalese young people and is understood as ‘arranged love marriage’, where the traditional concept of arranged marriage integrates with the contemporary understanding of love marriage (Allendorf and Thornton, 2015). This has also increased the number of inter-caste marriages, which is associated with educational and occupational endogamy rather than the focus on the social exchange or cultural practice of marriage (Chen and Takeuchi, 2011). However, it is understood that these couples are likely to have relatively lower social standing within their own ethnic communities (Ibid., 2011).

Early marriage or child marriage is prevalent within the Nepalese population and is associated with household poverty, lack of education and unemployment (Yabiku, 2005; Bajracharya and Amin, 2012; Ghimire and Samuels, 2014; Menger et al., 2015). Although the age at marriage has been rising, marriage in Nepal occurs at a relatively younger age (Caltabiano and Castiglioni, 2008). The Nepal demographic and health survey 2011 reported that the median age at first marriage among men aged 25 to 49 years is 21.6 years and for women is 17.5 years (MOHP, 2011b). The survey also reported

that 29 percent of teenage girls aged 15 to19 years are in formal marriage relationships compared to only 7 percent of teenage boys (Ibid., 2011b).

Nepalese parents often want their daughter to get married at a younger age, which creates an ideal environment for arranged marriage but young people are increasingly getting involved in the decision making process for the choice of spouse (Ghimire et al., 2006). The rise of ‘arranged love marriage’ means marriages among Nepalese young populations can be understood as a continuum rather than the dichotomous variable of love and arranged marriage.