EVALUACIÓN DE LAS SOLICITUDES PRESENTADAS POR INDULLEIDA, S.A

addi-tional grief, thereby adding to our already low view of ourselves. Thus, not only do our negative self-statements keep us from doing the things we want to do, they fur-ther erode our view of self, making it highly unlikely we will ever be able to respond differently unless and until we get into recovery. We must be willing to take personal responsibility for each new area of awareness, working with deter-mination to alter dysfunctional patterns and to dismantle our distorted thought patterns. Once we comprehend that it is our own self-talk that is maintaining our low self-esteem, we can no longer use our past as an excuse for what we do and do not know—or what we lack the courage to do. Once we are conscious of our prob-lem, it is our responsibility and ours alone to find the solution and to make the necessary changes to live fulfilling lives. For this is what it means to be an adult—

that we take responsibility for ourselves, our actions, our lives.

2N-1. Can you think of times in your life when you read into the behavior of others motivations or intentions that you later realized were inaccurate? Describe below three such incidents and what the consequences were.

1st incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2nd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

3rd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

REMEMBER: You feel after you think. Mature behavior should be based on a com-bination of the two: thinking through the situation and the options and consequences, considering how you feel, and then drawing a conclusion. Some people only base their behavior on feelings, which gets them into trouble. They may spend money impulsively, for example, buying something just because they want it without considering that the Visa bill is due or that they don’t have any extra money. Others may skip school or work because they don’t feel like going. They don’t consider the consequences but only live for the moment. Such immature people may not clean their houses, may not get the groceries, may not cook, or may not take care of their children because once again they don’t feel like doing it, an attitude that makes them undependable and irresponsible. It’s easy to see, therefore, that basing decisions on feelings alone can get us into trouble.

Making decisions on the basis of feelings is also a huge problem for the individual with LSE because her feelings are based on irrational and distorted thinking. It’s not the

immature thinking of those described above, but it can look the same at times. The moti-vating factor, however, is fear: of rejection and disapproval, of proving her inadequacy, of affirming her incompetence. In both this case and those above, the core issue is one of inappropriate self-talk. The irresponsible person convinces himself that he has “a right to do what he wants to do and thinks he shouldn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do” and that “he deserves to do and get what he wants when he wants it.” In the case of the person with LSE, he tells himself he isn’t deserving or worthy, that he shouldn’t expect too much, that the worst will probably happen, and that he had better protect himself.

Both are examples of inaccurate and irrational thinking, and both cause grief and long-term negative consequences. Therefore, we have to regularly examine what we say to our-selves—our self-talk—for its validity until we become experts at recognizing our dysfunc-tional thinking patterns.

2N-2. Try to remember specifically what you said to yourself prior to each of the above incidents that led you to inaccurate conclusions or reactions. Write down at least three statements that you remember saying to yourself during each incident. For instance, did you say, “He’s just using me—he really doesn’t care” or “They only want me to come to the bowling party so they have someone to laugh at” or “I’m not going. I’d only make a fool out of myself”?

1st incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2nd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

3rd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2N-3. One at a time, look closely at the statements in 2N-2 that you said to yourself and that led you to behave in the way you did. Ask yourself if each is true, factual, and based on history. In other words, if you’ve always been a good student but you talked yourself out of going to graduate school because you thought you couldn’t do it, that statement is false based on your history of being a good student. Or if you tell yourself you’re a bad driver because you were responsible for a fender ben-der after 22 years of driving without an accident, that accusation is just not factual.

One accident in 22 years doesn’t make anyone a bad driver. Now examine each of your assertions and note the inaccuracies.

1st incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2nd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

3rd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2N-4. Now that you have located the statements that were irrational and not factual, what could you have said to yourself instead that would have been based on truth or fact? Write down a sentence that replaces the false statement, one that is based

on truth, fact, or history to the extent that you know it. For example, “Maybe he likes me. I do like him. I guess I’ll give him a chance” or “I think I’ll go to the bowl-ing party. I’m a pretty good bowler, and it’ll give me a chance to get to know my coworkers better” or “It doesn’t matter how good I am. We’re really just going to be together and have a good time.”

1st incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2nd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

3rd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

There is no way to appropriately emphasize the significance of the above exercise.

This exercise represents the beginning of the removal of a major impediment in the journey to recovering from LSE: dismantling your negative and irrational self-talk. Our ability to complete it is the crux of overcoming Obstacle 2. The steps to doing so include:

1. Becoming aware of our self-talk and recognizing specific statements we make to ourselves following an incident

2. Analyzing those specific statements for truth, fact, and history

3. Learning to replace any negative, inaccurate statements with neutral or positive true assertions

4. Beginning a regimented program of repeating these statements over and over to ourselves until they become the basis of our thinking

2N-5. Can you think of times when you were overly sensitive and had your feelings hurt, but when, in fact, the other person really hadn’t said or done anything wrong? Instead, you overreacted or misread the situation. Describe below three such incidents and what the consequences were.

1st incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

2nd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

3rd incident:

____________________________________________________________________________

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Before continuing, please read pages 254-262 of Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem.

When you have finished reading those pages, please go forward to Obstacle 4,

“Catching Up” (page 282 in this book) and work through page 283. Instructions on page 283 will tell you where to go next.

In document LÍNEA DE AYUDA FEADER 05046001 04 411 00 INVERSIONES EN ACTIVOS FÍSICOS (ARTÍCULO 17) (página 83-94)