Evaluación del nivel de competitividad de la asociación APALA

The participants felt as though being a foster child carries with it a negative stigma. Foster children feel as though others perceive that they are and will become a failure. The negative statistics that were discussed in earlier chapters identify that most foster children do become failures. Jon commented:

I don’t strive for the center of attention. I strive to prove people wrong. It’s kind of like they don’t get interested in your life until you do something good. Even with some of my biological family, when I try to figure out who I’m related to . . . one lady said she didn’t know my mom had four kids. So part of it is, like I want them to know that this didn’t break me, and I’m stronger than what a lot of what my relatives were and what they are

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in life. I think it’s kind of like a chip on my shoulder. I do want to show people this isn’t something that’s going to break me.

Billy informed the researcher that she has heard negative comments throughout her life. Billy stated, “I used a lot of them as motivation to prove people wrong.” Kelly commented, “I want it for myself. You want to prove to people that you’re doing well.” Ash commented during the interview:

I refuse to be a delinquent. I don’t want to be a statistic. I don’t want to be a delinquent. I don’t want to live and survive off other people. And that’s what I think a lot of people, women particularly, are doing. Living off the government, having so many kids, not being able to afford to take care of their kids, it just really kills me. And that’s another reason why I wanted to graduate. I have a couple friends in high school, one good friend, dropped out and had three kids. I said, “Oh God, no, I can’t be like that. No, I got to do something with my life.” “I said, I’m about to be like this and live.” I like to travel, but you have to have money to travel. So I would definitely say I’m an eager person. I’m eager to graduate; I’m eager to educate myself. Education is the most important thing to me. Being the fact that I was deprived of it as a child, it’s more important to me now. And just graduating from college, it’s so important to me. It’s just like laughing in my parents’ faces.

Brit felt as though she worked harder when someone was proud of her accomplishments. Brit commented, “If somebody’s not proud of me, I just get, I think my achievements are more of an achievement if I know somebody is proud of me.” She also commented, “It’ll make me want to do more, because I like the feeling of having people be proud of me, so it makes me want to do more to make them be proud of me.” Brit stated that:

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I think that’s one of the main reasons that motivate me to finish college. I just know that most of my family either didn’t finish high school, they just got their GEDs, and a couple of them tried going to college, but they didn’t finish college. I want to be more

successful. I see the way they’re living. I mean most of them are doing good; they’re stable. They’re not doing drugs or anything, but they’re struggling because they have jobs that don’t pay much and stuff. So, I just want to be more successful.

Sam informed the researcher that she uses her past negative experiences as a way to channel her emotions to become better. Sam commented:

I try not to remember everything word-by-word, just because naturally I have a feisty personality. I have anger built up from everything that’s happened, and I don’t want to use that as anger. I want to channel it into something better. So I stop focusing on necessarily what was said. I try to focus on what I need to change that.

The researcher commented, “Do you feel like foster children go the wrong route? Do you say that you channel it and use it for your benefit? Do you think other children use it as a crutch or as an excuse to fail?” Sam replied:

Absolutely. Yes, actually, I’ve had instances after high school, when I would tutor kids and they would say, “Well, all my mom does is do drugs” and I say, “Well, do you want to be the same way?”

The researcher inquired, “What makes us use that? And what makes foster children use it as a crutch and an excuse to fail?” Sam replied:

I think that everyone works in a different form, but I think that children in foster care just want to hear that they’re doing good because you don’t hear it. I think we all have our own determination, and it just depends on if someone else tells you that determination is

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good and that you are doing good. And if someone doesn’t hear that enough or from someone they truly value, then I believe that effects how they are going to turn out because they don’t have that support. They don’t hear that they’re doing good. They’ve thrown in the towel; they’re done.

All the participants felt that they needed to prove people wrong. They felt the negative stigma of being a foster child, and they each had their own personal way of proving people wrong. Some of the participants used their anger to fuel their fire, and some channeled their emotions and used their past experiences as a tool to assist them to succeed.

Theme 9: Participants felt that being socially active was instrumental to their success.