Excepciones y Limitaciones

The pastor’s home and family life need not be perfect. This is not the standard God sets forth. However, his family must be guided by biblically sound principles, and __________________

92_{Ralph Earle, “Not a Novice”, Word Meanings In The New Testament}

stand as a model for people both inside and outside of the church. The pastor’s family can be an encouragement to other families seeking to follow after God’s plan for their lives.

Husband of One Wife

The pastor is to be the “husband of one wife”, Gk. mias gunaikos (I Tim 3:2; Tit 1:6). Literally, this is translated “a one-woman man.”93 There are several common interpretations of this passage. One is that it is required for the pastor to be married. This view would seem to contradict 1 Cor 7:8 and 7:25-33, where Paul encouraged celibacy, as a gift from God.

A second view is that of one wife in a lifetime. This view eliminates any man who has married a second wife for any reason even after the death of his first wife. The

Scripture makes it clear that a person is free to remarry following the death of a spouse (Rom 7:1-6), therefore this view is untenable.

A third view is that the passage is not referring primarily to the pastor’s marital status, but instead to his moral behavior. “Most commentators agree that it means monogamy and that the overseer must be completely faithful to his wife.”94 A one- woman man devotes himself to the woman who is his wife. The idea is that if he is faithful to the wife that God has given him, he can be trusted to lead God’s church.

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93 _{John MacArthur, Jr., New Testament Commentary: I Timothy (Chicago:}

Moody Bible Institute, 1995), 104.

94_{Frank E. Gaebelin, Ed., Expositors Bible Commentary: Volume II (Grand}

A fourth view prohibits divorced men from serving as pastors under any circumstances. This prohibition also usually extends to a man who is married to a divorced woman. Care should be taken not to treat divorce and remarriage as unforgivable sins, and go beyond the biblical guidelines. It would seem biblical and logical, that if a man has been divorced prior to his conversion, or has been divorced under the biblical grounds of adultery on the part of a spouse (Matt 5:31-32), or

abandonment by an unbeliever (I Cor 7:10-16), and has subsequently remarried, that he should not be restricted from serving in the office of pastor.

Divorce when committed outside of the biblical provisions is sin. Like other sins however, divorce can be forgiven and the believer cleansed. It would be difficult to make the case for a man to serve as a pastor who has been divorced due to unbiblical

circumstances for two reasons. First, he would not qualify as being “above reproach”, and his testimony would be compromised. Secondly, he would not qualify as having

“managed his own household well.”

The pastor has a responsibility to love his wife and be faithful to her. This is the primary focus of the passage. The pastor must “be a man of unquestioned morality, who is entirely true and faithful to his one and only wife; one who, being married, does not in pagan fashion enter into an immoral relationship with another woman.”95

John Piper wrote, when pastors love their wives:

It delights and encourages the church. It models marriage for the other couples. It upholds the honor of the office of elder. It blesses the pastor’s children with a haven of love. It displays the mystery of Christ’s love for the church. It prevents our prayers from being hindered. It eases the burdens of the __________________

95 _{William Hendricksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, New Testament Commentary:}

ministry. It protects the church from devastating scandal. And it satisfies the soul as we find our joy in God by pursuing it in the joy of the beloved. This is not marginal . . . . Loving our wives is essential for our ministry. It is ministry.96 There are many pressures on the pastor’s marital relationship. H.B. London, Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman wrote, Pastors at Risk. One chapter in the book is entitled,

“Warning: Ministry May Be Hazardous to Your Marriage.”97 They identify many of the pressures the pastor faces along with his wife: insufficient time together; use of money; income level; communication difficulties; congregational expectations; difficulty in raising children; differences over ministry career; and differences over spouse’s career. Because of the changing climate and nature of ministry, these pressures are increasing. The pastor must have security in his marriage relationship, and love and nurture his wife to lessen the pressures and potential pitfalls.

Ruler of His Own House

The pastor must “rule”, Gk. proistamenon (I Tim 3:4), his own house well. The true test of what kind of leader a man is relates to his home life. If he is consistent and can model the truth in love and manage his home well, then he may be qualified to lead the church. He must be faithful in the most intimate relationships of his life. The people who live with him and know him best can attest to what kind of man he is. The Scripture says, “For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of

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96_{John Piper, Brothers We are Not Professional(Nashville: Broadman and}

Holman, 2002), 245.

97_{H.B. London, Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Risk (Wheaton:Victor,}

the church of God?” (I Tim 3:5). For any man serving as a pastor, the overall leadership of his home and direction for his family must solidly be in his hands.

The home is a proving ground where many men have shown themselves unfit for the ministry. The requirement in relation to his children is that he is to have “his children in submission with all reverence” (I Tim 3:4). To be in “submission”, Gk. hypotage, “implies a responsive obedience to whomever or whatever one is subject to.”98 The children of the pastor are to respect and honor the authority of their father. This authority is not to be administered with harshness, or in a dictatorial fashion, but instead in a loving, firm, and consistent manner. It should be built in an environment of love and respect for the father. In doing so, this points the children to their heavenly Father.

According to the Scripture, the pastor also needs to have “faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination” (Tit 1:6). The word translated “faithful”, Gk. Gk. pista, means to believe, to have faith. According to John MacArthur, Jr., the

reference here is likely to believing children.99 _{“Dissipation”, Gk. asotia indicates a}

rebellious, wild lifestyle. Therefore, one could draw the conclusion that this is not only referring to children within the household of the pastor, but also the grown children of the pastor.

MacArthur argues that “The pastor’s children are to live obediently under their father’s control when they are small, following their father’s faith until it emerges as their own faith. At that point they must live a faithful Christian life, not a wild, rebellious, out-

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98_{Lawrence Richards, “Submission”, Expository Dictionary of Bible Words}

(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1991), 584.

of-control, wasteful life. If they do not, besides the damage they do themselves, they disqualify their father from pastoral ministry.”100

The pastor’s family is critically important to his overall ministry. Only the pastor’s relationship with God takes priority over His family. His devotion to His family reflects the level of His devotion to God.