FISCALIDAD

Let’s get straight to the point.

Control of orgasm is basic to your ability to get the most out of sex and to create an exceptional experience for your partner.

To control orgasm, you must be able to ride your waves of pleasure and to absorb them, and to decide when to “go for it” and let them overwhelm you. In particular, that means you must be able to contract and relax the muscles of orgasm at the floor of your pelvis to control orgasm. You must also be able to control your breathing to use it to regulate the inten-sity of the pleasure waves and to spread them all over your body.

The very act of learning to control the tensions of orgasm will also improve your ability to ride the wave of sensation that carries you to orgasm.

In the ancient yogic literature, there is an energy channel described which runs from the genitals to the spine. Peak sexual experiences occur when you get the excess of sexual sensation to disperse into that channel instead to out of the body in orgasm. Control of sexual energy is the key to controlling orgasm. And control of the tensions of orgasm and of breath is the key to controlling the flow of sexual energy.

Recognizing that some people find the concept of “energy” suspect or meaningless, let me describe it in another way: as sensation.

Sensation is what is meant by energy -- and for good reason: all of our senses perceive changes in energy: light energy, vibration, heat, pressure, etc.

Sensation is our experience of energy.

That cleared up, let’s take on the most pleasur-able project of controlling sexual energy.

The ordinary experience of sex involves stimula-tion, pleasurable sensastimula-tion, and the build-up of the sense of sexual energy -- a sexual charge -- that ends in a cataclysm of pleasure. Ordinarily, people build up that charge as quickly as possible to get to orgasm as quickly as possible. This is the regrettable example provided to us by most pornography. It leads to pre-mature loss of control and decreased pleasure.

The example of pornography leads to an inferior sexual experience that looks better than it feels.

Instead, learn to build slowly and with feeling.

Building more slowly enables you to develop and hold a greater charge of sexual energy.

To the degree that you have control over that charge, you can delay orgasm while enjoying its growing charge. Truly overwhelming orgasms are possible.

The muscles of orgasm are the key to delaying orgasm and building a charge (for men); toning the muscles of orgasm is the key to increasing sensation and building a charge (for women).

As charge builds up, you naturally feel a hot-prickly-juicy wave of sensation in your sex zones.

For men, as you come close to cresting, squeeze and relax your orgasm muscles, as if swallowing with them. Relax completely between pulses. Stop mov-ing, if necessary, to be able to absorb the sensations faster than they build. You’ll feel the juicy sensation move back from your genital area and deeply into your pelvic cavity, then up your spine. Your whole spi-nal alignment will change with each wave. Your

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Deeper Lovemaking

trol will increase and you’ll be ready to build another wave of pleasure.

For women, as you come close to cresting, feel everything, breath it all in, and relax. Try the “orgas-mic swallowing” technique. Do that every time you come close. The intensity of your final orgasm will mul-tiply.

If you have good control, you will be able to absorb orgasms many times during a single sexual occasion. By relaxing the tensions of orgasm and breathing fully, you will also be able to project the force of sexual sensation toward and into your partner -- particularly if you are giving him or her your full attention at that moment. The act of projecting the sexual sensation into your partner will also help you to stay in control of your own waves of sensation.

The following exercise, a more sophisticated development of the Kegel Exercise taught by many sex therapists, is the first step toward that most enjoy-able experience.

Move slowly enough to notice the first sensation of effort, in an easygoing, feeling way.

Never force or cause yourself to cringe. If a movement hurts, use less effort.

The Cadenced Breathing In this exercise:

• You inhale fully and exhale fully.

• You contract your orgasm muscles fully and relax them fully.

• You coordinate the movements of your orgasm muscles with your breathing.

• You steady your attention for a moment (observe a moment of silence) before switching from inhalation to exhalation and from exhalation to inhalation.

You are developing freedom and control, plus the ability to give yourself rushes of sensation that add to the pleasurable results of these exer-cises.

improving the control of your attention, breath, and