Child transformation begins with exchanges with parents, siblings, neighbours and peers and it is the daily interactions with these that contribute to aggression and violence. Parental disciplinary measures therefore can be linked to aggressive learner behaviour with both positive and negative reinforcement of such behaviour. One of the
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themes that emerged on the effect of family environment on the learner was parental disciplinary measures. Some learners mentioned that disciplinary measures that their parents adopted when they misbehaved were drastic and left them angry. Parents, on the other hand, also seemed to be at a loss as to the kind of discipline appropriate for children. Different forms of discipline are narrated by learners as follows:
My mother and father used to hit me, last year they hit me with the belt [L1].
When the school called and told my parents about me using the swear word on an educator, they chased me out of the house for one night. I stayed in the yard, I slept the whole night outside with no food, nothing. I went back inside at 5 o’ clock the next morning. My punishment from my parents was to clean the yard and house [L2].
When I get involved at school, they call my parents, and my parents get angry and they punish me. They ban me from doing certain stuff like going out with my friends [L6].
These results show that some of the disciplinary measures by parents can be drastic, such as chasing the child out of the house for the whole night without food and still continuing to punish the child afterwards. Hitting the child is also a drastic measure which was abolished in South Africa in 1995. These measures only serve to make children angry and give them a sense of non-belonging which they might try to compensate for by joining gangs, engaging in violent behaviour, or low self-esteem. One of the parents mentioned that he made his son sign a contract that if he misbehaved at school, he should get expelled:
I sat down with him and I made him draft a contract and he has a copy... I made him put down where he went wrong and that he is going to ensure that he never repeats that. It reads as follows: “I now solemnly promise that I am not going to do all these misdemeanours
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and should I get caught or it becomes an issue that any of the educators are not happy with it, it is not going to go where you call a parent and they will be taking you up to the governing body for expulsion”. I told him straight, the contract is if you break the rule the principal just needs to call me, and I will come and take him out of school. It is over, his schooling life is finished [LP1].
Some of the parents mentioned milder forms of discipline as follows:
With teenagers their phones are their privileges. We take their phone and their privileges away, such as their friends are not allowed here. We did all that where his friends couldn’t come. He was grounded and didn’t have a phone and was not allowed to sit where we are sitting. So instead of being violent and hitting them I prefer this way [LP2].
Similarly, LP1 also reiterated this form of punishment:
I will take away everything and then the next two days I start giving it back and then he knows it gets taken away and he gets it back when he starts behaving [LP1].
LP1 also informed that although he used this method of chastisement it also had other
disciplinary benefits beyond the home:
When it comes to his punishment, I can be harsh on him. As parents we are punishing him, but I want to teach him what is right and what is wrong. If I am too strict, he is going to retaliate at school and that is the last thing I want, so I will scream and shout at him and week goes on and I see a little change in him [LP1].
However, LP3 conceded that the circumstances become tenuous and challenging when contemplating parental disciplinary measures:
I try not to hit or anything of that sort, but sometimes he pushes me to the limit [LP3]
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Acknowledging the role that parents should play in disciplining their children, one of the parents elaborated as follows:
Discipline stems from home and not your teachers, and the fact is that the kids stand up to the educators. You cannot expect educators to do what a parent is supposed to do. All they [the educators] are there for is just to make sure that the learners understand the schoolwork.
[LP6].
However, results indicated that some of the measures taken by some parents left the children angry and this anger could lead to violent behaviour.