Fortalecer la identidad de ser hijos de Dios

This section guides the reader through the process of getting into the field, and documents some of the practical and ethical complexities that arose once in the field when engaged in a regular volunteer role. This section aims not only to provide a description of the community fieldwork undertaken, but also includes reflexive insights into some of the emotion work inherent in the research process.

4.5.1. ‘Creative space’ and consistent inconsistency

Having spent little time in Hiraeth and with a limited understanding of the essence of the community, I thought it would be advantageous to have a consistent volunteering role in the area, as this has been an effective method in previous ethnographic work (see Blakely 2010). Naively believing that the community ‘Hub’ would be the beating heart of community life, I registered my interest in volunteering with both the Hub staff and Communities First staff (whose offices were based in the Hub) in August 2016. Following a short informal interview, and a subsequent DBS check29_{, I agreed to help coordinate a weekly afterschool club held in the Hub. Every}

Wednesday from four o’clock Anna and I facilitated the ‘creative space’ group, which grew out of a previous creative writing group. Targeted at children aged eight plus, the idea was for the group to be a space where children could be creative and free, outside of the rules and pedagogy of the school walls. This included creative writing, crafts, and drawing, with the small amount of resources we had available to us. We would often base our activities around upcoming holidays and events, and the vast majority of children who came along were girls, nearing the end of primary school (aged nine to eleven).

Anna had a good relationship with the girls as part of her job involved visiting the local primary schools and promoting library services. There were a handful of core attendees who came along most weeks, although attendance was relatively poor throughout. At our peak we had ten children, at our trough, no children. Originally, I thought the club would provide an opportunity to meet parents and to recruit families as participants. However, this was limited as most girls were trusted to walk home alone or with friends, due to the Hub’s close proximity. The wavering attendance and commitment to the club led to its decline in May 2017. I reflected on this in my fieldnotes, and how it affected me not only in my capacity as a researcher, but as a volunteer:

I stood outside the library for about half an hour waiting for the girls who usually attend to arrive. I felt awkward, like a spare part, and like I didn’t belong there.

(Fieldnote, 12.10.2016) Instability and inconsistency were instilled into the group from week one, when Anna disclosed to me that in the following month (October 2016), she would be taking three months annual leave. After telling the group before she left that from the following week I would be in charge and that they should do everything I say, I felt pressure to ensure that the group continued and thrived. Following her absence, numbers dropped significantly and some of the core attendees had not returned. When regular attendees were not turning up, I felt both disappointed and frustrated. Anna’s replacement, John, worked with me to try and revive the group, but it was clear that Anna

29 _{DBS or Disclosure and Barring Service provides employers or voluntary organisations with criminal} record checks for those applying for roles.

was the linchpin to its success. Following Anna’s return in January, it felt as though the momentum was back to recreate the group and make it successful again. This was short-lived when by April 2017, Anna went on secondment in another library and subsequently gained a new job. John stood in initially but then acquired a new job in a different area. This provides just one example of the impact that high staff turnover and lack of consistency can have on community members’ trust and turnout at community-based events. It takes time to establish links and relationships, and these are lost rapidly when key staff members move on and out of the community.

4.5.2. Positionality and ethical issues when working with children

When volunteering at the ‘creative space’ group, I ran into several issues relating to both positionality and ethics. It is pertinent to highlight these issues to demonstrate the often- unpredictable nature of fieldwork and how important it can be to think on your feet (Delamont 2009). It was important that I did not come across to the children as an authority figure. Even thinking about what to wear was important. Christensen (2004) documents this dilemma in her work with children within a school. Although before Anna’s departure she informed the girls to do “everything I say” (05.10.2016 Fieldnote), I felt it was vital not to be seen as a teacher, and that the club should be a safe space away from the school environment.

This was problematic as the girls often followed school ‘rules’ in their creations, bringing similar difficulties that researchers often experience in school settings (Christensen 2004; Gillies and Robinson 2012; Mand 2012). When one girl asked if she should write some LOs, I was thoroughly confused. It was not until Anna told me that LOs stands for learning objectives that I realised the extent to which the school pedagogy was ingrained. My desire to not be considered as an authority figure was tested at times, especially when the girls were being disruptive and seemed to be purposely causing trouble. Despite this, I always left it down to the Hub staff to reprimand bad behaviour, as I did not think this was in my remit as a volunteer.

It was difficult to explain to the children exactly who I am and what my role was. When helping out at a family adventure day in the local primary school, children often referred to me as ‘Miss’ which made me feel uncomfortable in terms of my role and responsibility. In the ‘creative space’ club, I was introduced to the girls as a friend who is from Cardiff University who will be helping out. Navigating my role as a researcher, volunteer, and subsequently with events that followed, responsible adult, was difficult. There were some worrying and disturbing incidents at the ‘creative space’ club where I felt a strong responsibility to ensure that the girls’ welfare was protected. However, there were always at least two Hub members of staff on hand to deal with such issues, and in my role as a volunteer, it was not my responsibility to act on such occurrences. Even so, as a volunteer, and as somebody who has two nieces the same ages as these girls, I was

often concerned. This is just one example of the emotional labour that goes into fieldwork (Hochschild 1983).

4.5.3. Further volunteering roles

Alongside my role in the ‘creative space’ group, I volunteered with Communities First at various events including GCSE results day30_{; job fayres; mental health awareness day; family adventure}

day in the local primary school; half term events; and due to the unfortunate timing of this research, scribing consultation meetings around ‘what is next’ after Communities First has ended31_{. This allowed me to understand how Communities First worked institutionally and how}

it engaged with the community, and to also get to know staff and community members better. I spent time volunteering within the Communities First offices, which helped me gain an insight into the operational running of the organisation. Again, attendance at events was extremely hit and miss, which may have been a reflection on the outreach work being done, but also the community’s trust and engagement with community projects. Sometimes there was a lack of communication, clarity and organisation, especially when working with partners in the community (such as the local primary school). Despite Communities First being present in the community since 2008, long-lasting community development work and strong community relationships were threatened by the fragility of funding support for the programme, although arguably the programme’s aims were more individual-focused, despite a community rhetoric (see Dicks 2014; Adamson 2016).

Outside of the Hub and Communities First, I also attended the Hiraeth history society, which led to me gaining access to the largest archive collection of historic photographs and memorabilia relating to Hiraeth. This enabled me to develop a much richer understanding of many aspects of community life dating as far back as the 19th _{century, and as recent as 2003. When participants}

discussed elements of continuity and change over their time in Hiraeth, this historical insight helped me, as an outsider, to better understand participants’ stories.

To learn about everyday community life outside of ‘official’ programmes such as Communities First, I became part of an online community group, which shared local information and concerns. Additionally, I worked with a local charity who acquired an ex-council building and were consulting with the community about what they would like to see the building used for. The charity also put action groups together for various local issues such as a Neighbourhood Watch group32_{, a litter pick group, and a community events group. Being the minute taker at events and}

30 _{In the UK, General Certificates of Secondary Education are compulsory qualifications taken in specific} subjects by pupils aged fourteen to sixteen

31 _{See Chapter 5, section 5.2.4 for more information on the Communities First programme and its ending.} 32 _{Neighbourhood Watch groups are resident-led organisations that focus on crime prevention in the} community, often in conjunction with community policing initiatives.

meetings allowed me to observe first-hand the community at work. To understand younger people’s engagement in the community, I assisted at the local Scouts group, which in contrast to the ‘creative space’ club, was extremely well attended and hence over-subscribed. The main point of interest here is that in comparison to Hub or Communities First run events, these community events had a much larger turnout and interest, both online and in person.

4.5.4. Fieldwork reflections

Being involved in a variety of community organisations and volunteering opportunities for well over a year had a positive impact not only on the richness of the fieldwork, but on me personally. It was a rewarding process, and I felt appreciated and as though my engagement benefitted the community to some extent. I was fortunate to meet some truly inspirational and warm people. This extract from my fieldnotes is just one example of many reflecting the rewarding aspects of helping in and working with the community:

One girl asked if I visit other libraries or just this one, I said just this one, and she said, ‘this library is lucky then.’ This made me feel happy, like I was doing something worthwhile for the young people in the community and making some friends.

(Fieldnote 07.12.2017) Communities First worked alongside SPICE time credits33 _{and so for every hour you volunteer,}

you earned a time credit which can be spent at a variety of attractions across the city. Although I felt guilty about accepting such a gesture, I gifted my time credits to some participants later in the research process. Volunteering allowed me to build relationships with members of the community from a variety of backgrounds. There was nothing more fulfilling than being recognised by community members when out and about in the community, and also being able to share and exchange local information. I developed relationships with both community members and community workers, learning more from them as time went on. Hub and Communities First staff members took a genuine interest in the research and would ask for updates on my progress. Being an active volunteer for fourteen months added a certain richness to my understanding of Hiraeth as a community, more than could have been achieved through conducting interviews alone. However, once described to me as the feeling of being at a party that nobody has invited you to, fieldwork was at times uncomfortable, awkward, exhausting and messy (Delamont 2009). Introducing yourself at a local residents’ meeting when you do not live in the area was one notable awkward memory. But spending time in a multitude of spaces in the community over a long period of time allowed me to see first-hand what community life is like in Hiraeth, what daily struggles residents have to deal with, and what residents are most proud of. There was certainly 33 _{SPICE provided a system for organisations and individuals to exchange their skills and time for access} to local activities. It aims to join up a variety of organisations within a community. It has recently been rebranded as Tempo, see www.wearetempo.org for more.

no lack of community spirit in Hiraeth, despite its forgotten, overlooked status within academia and community work. It seemed that locality and space were important as the strongest pockets of community tended to flourish in a small number of informal community settings, where community members were in control. The Hub is a much-under-utilised space, despite being the nearest ‘community centre’. I am cautious not to overstate my knowledge of Hiraeth, but volunteering opened my eyes to the many contradictions and nuances present in the craft of weaving community and a sense of belonging in a largely forgotten yet marginalised area.