Funcionamiento del olivar

My process of data collection and analysis has involved many mixed emotions, ranging from excitement, intrigue and confidence to uncertainty and confusion as I spiralled in and out of unknowing and groundedness, all of which I have documented in my Research memos. There are four particular reflections which are relevant to how I constructed my data based on my counter-transference reactions that I would like to mention in the context of my findings.

3.3.1 Working with my participants

I was not sure if I would find enough therapists who fitted my sample criteria and were willing to participate. However, I was pleasantly surprised with the responses to my adverts and found that many people were keen to talk about using genograms. They said that they find them helpful in their work, but do not have other forums where they can discuss how they use them in one-to-one work. Indeed, some therapists were quite evangelical about

60 genograms and working systemically. Bearing in mind that I am intrigued by these topic areas (hence the reason for conducting my research), I noticed that I could get quite caught up in their enthusiasm.

So I reminded myself to remain constructively critical of what I was hearing. This enabled me to pick up on and tease out different emotions and perspectives in the process, thus leading to a more rounded view of using genograms. In a way, I think my analysis was enhanced by the fact that I had not used genograms as a therapist myself at that point; so I was approaching the interviews from a naive point of view. I was aware of an interesting power differential where they had certain knowledge, but I had the ability to accept or question this.

3.3.2 My physiological ‘tingling’

From my very first interview, I noticed that my legs and the back of my neck tingled when my participants spoke about certain things which had been ‘revealed’ for their client in a genogram. This normally related to a family secret which was spoken about for the first time in years, or noticing something that the client felt they had ‘known’ but only just voiced. It was like I was having a strong physiological reaction to something which was previously unconscious, becoming conscious. I wrote in my Research memos on 27th _{May 2011:}

“What is being uncovered is something about an “unconscious level of meaning & experience” – is that what gives me goose pimples? Something happens – something shifts – something unspoken is made conscious – that is meaningful because something is unblocked in the system – it helps the client put something into place – it goes beyond the verbal to another way of relating? Is this part of the usefulness of genogram? It helps people access another level/form? Access some unthought knowns, bodily truths?”.

61 Having noticed my bodily reactions in this way, I was curious about what was happening. So I asked the therapist’s about their own experiences and that of their clients at key moments like this. This was important as it led me to explore what can be evoked between the therapist and client when using a genogram (“it's very much about bringing people in the room....these people actually come to life, it is very powerful”, Therapist E) and how therapists follow their own counter-transference to direct their sense of what is hidden or unsaid in a genogram. For example, Therapist G remarked:

“there were certain things going on which I was aware of, she never told me how dad died, but something said to me, you know he committed suicide, just leave it”.

So gathering this information enabled me to fine-tune certain parts of my analysis and I made ‘facilitating revelations’ a key element of one of my sub-categories.

3.3.3 Focusing on knowing

As I was mid-way through my interviews, I noticed that I was becoming very focussed on ‘knowing’ how my participants use genograms. It felt like I had become insistent on the pursuit of knowledge rather than also being aware of the process between myself and my participant. I realised that my experience reflected what my participants were saying about how they might use a genogram as an information gathering tool which can sometimes lead to a focus on cognitive insight. Therapist F said:

“some people just find it terribly useful, to use their thoughts about to what has happened as to what's influencing their present situation”.

I wrote in my Research memos:

“Quite difficult to get sense of emotional change from genograms – is it because somehow there is a focus on ‘knowing’ or ‘finding out’ – insight producing change

62 rather than emotional release? – one therapist has said change is about cognition & behaviour change”.

This prompted me to find out more about the relationship between cognitive and emotional change, which added more detail and nuance into my sub-category about how using a genogram enables therapeutic change.

3.3.4 Feelings of being over-whelmed

Feelings of being over-whelmed emerged as something which both the therapist (“in some respects doing the genogram has opened up this can of worms and it just lays there”, Therapist A) and client (“it is intense and can be over-whelming”, Therapist B) can feel when using a genogram. Therefore, I noticed a possible parallel process when I started feeling over-whelmed when I was working to form my focussed codes into categories. Whilst I was aware that I was engaging in a previously unknown process of qualitative research, I pondered about whether my feelings were connected to the subject matter. It made me think about what is evoked when wider contextual variables are brought into therapy and the importance of the therapist holding the process. This helped me understand the significance of the therapist’s approach, which influenced my choice to include this as a category in its own right.