EN EL CIBERESPACIO
II. FUNDAMENTOS TEÓRICOS
I’ve saved the biggest obstacle for last. Being unable to think of what to say when approaching a woman is a problem many guys have.
Should I ask for her opinion?
Do I use some cheesy pick up line?
Should I be direct?
These are all questions you might ask yourself.
The harsh truth is to start a conversation with a woman YOU need to be the first one to break the ice. She’s not going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you’ll have to walk up to the room and be the first to open your mouth.
So what do you say?
The good news is I have a few solutions.
In the section below, I’ll give you three ways you can start a conversation. All of them are ones I’ve personally use when approaching women.
What’s the Solution???
I’ll be the first to admit that my approaching skills are less than stellar. Like a lot of guys, I hate being forced to think of some
#1- The Facial Expression “Trick”
witty thing to say just to start talking to a woman I like. So one of the things I’ve done is build a naturally attractive lifestyle and make women do all the work.
Yeah it’s pretty lazy, but it works for me.
The problem is I’ll often see an attractive girl and know the only way I can meet her is to “sack up” and approach her.
The problem is I’m not really into the long and complicated conversation starters. Too much to memorize. Instead, I like to use stuff that’s simple and direct; which immediately get the ball rolling.
Who wants to waste 10 minutes telling a story, hoping a woman will find it interesting?
If I’m going to fail, I want to fail fast.
So whenever I spot an
attractive girl, I’ll use my facial
“trick” conversation starter which works incredibly well.
In fact, I would say this works about 90% of the time I use it.
Here’s what I mean…
The truth is, you can “approach” a girl without saying a word!
Whenever a person is in a public setting, it’s human nature to look around and observe who’s around. Your goal is to use this to your advantage. When you spot a girl, wait till she looks around the room and sees you.
When a girl looks at you, lock eyes on her and hold it.
At this point, you have TWO choices:
1) Hold eye contact and wait till she looks away
2) Hold eye contact and flash an over-exaggerated face that’ll make her laugh.
My choice is to ALWAYS flash a funny, playful face!
Why does this work? Well most people (especially guys) act way too serious when they’re in a venue like a bar or club. Most are afraid to be themselves. They’re too busy trying to give off the
‘tough guy’ vibe.
To set yourself apart from these clowns, show that you don’t take everything too seriously. By showing a woman a playful
expression you demonstrate that you’re a fun guy. Without saying a word, she’ll know that you’re the type of guy who’ll be
interesting to meet.
As you know women have certain body language signals which indicate their interest in a guy. So if a girl laughs, smiles, or flashes an equally funny face; then you’re being a given what’s known as an “approach signal.” This is an invitation for you to walk over and break the ice.
I usually like to start with, “Why are you making faces at me?”
This one almost always gets a laugh.
What type of faces should you make? There isn’t a strict formula.
I recommend doing something that’ll get a laugh. For instance, here are some faces you could make:
Stick your tongue out.
Give her a “pouty” look.
Show the exaggerated “pick up artist” wink.
Give a mock-embarrassed look.
Display big “shit-eating grin” smile.
Pretend to be really angry then crack into a smile.
Give a quick head tilt (like the “what’s up” expression.)
Send a quick wave.
Do a mock “in love” expression (grab your chest and flutter your eyes.)
Show a fake a suspicious look (like you’re not sure why she’s looking at you.)
If you’re not sure how this works, let me give a quick example that my buddy Aaron used. Now Aaron isn’t the most attractive guy in the world, BUT he’s pretty good with women.
In fact, he met his current girlfriend at a nightclub a few years back when (upon locking eyes with her) he went to great lengths to make her laugh (at my expense, I might add.) Being the friend that he is, Aaron “threw me under the bus” just to get a laugh.
As I was talking to a group of people, he looked over to this girl as she was sitting with her friends and started “fake-choking” himself pointing at me with a smug look on his face. And before I could ask Aaron what the hell he was doing, he was across the room talking to his future girlfriend.
This quick story brings up a few important points:
#1- I need to find better wing men :-)
#2- You don’t need over elaborate gimmicks to start a conversation.
#3- A friendly attitude and smile can be your secret weapon
When using facial expression trick, don’t be surprised if she looks away from you initially. Making contact with a complete stranger can be uncomfortable for a lot of people.
Usually, a girl will look away then wait a few seconds before looking back. When she does, MAKE SURE you don’t turn away!
Instead, try upping the ante by smiling, nodding your head at her, or using one of the funny expressions I just mentioned!
You’ll find that a playful demeanor makes a woman open to talking to you. When you get a positive response or enticing smile, your only job is to walk over and introduce yourself.
The “opinion” opener is an incredibly effective way to start a conversation.
#2- Get Her Opinion
Detailed at this site, this technique is pretty simple to use. All you do is walk up to a woman (or group of women) and get their opinion on something.
An opinion opener is used to begin a conversation with a woman, get her attention and then transition into getting to know her better.
It differs from other “conversation starters” because it doesn’t sound like some corny pick up line.
Getting her opinion works many different reasons:
#1- Women love to give their opinions.
#2- Any response can be used to ‘seed’ a follow-up conversation.
#3- You’re not telegraphing your intentions.
#4- You’re more interesting than most guys who approach her.
The perfect opinion opener has a few crucial elements.
First, it should be an open-ended question. So it shouldn’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Secondly you need to involve all the people in the group. Not just the woman you want. Any group you approach should get the impression that you’re a fun, outgoing guy who isn’t going to be intrusive.
Next you should give a time constraint. If a group thinks you’re going to stay for a few minutes, they’ll be more likely to open up and be friendly. Usually this can be accomplished by starting the conversation like this: “Hey guys. Real quick question …”
Fourth the opinion opener should be interesting. Keep it light hearted and centered on topics women like (drama, gossip, funny, etc).
Finally you need to approach with a reason. In other words, you can’t give the appearance that you’re randomly walking around the room asking people questions. I recommend referencing a conversation you were just having with your friends.
So using the previous example, you could say something like “Hey guys. Real quick question… My buddy and I were just having an argument that I was hoping you could
settle…”
Creating an opinion opener isn’t that hard. Just sit down and think about three to four interesting questions you could ask women.
For instance, here’s a classic opener that many guys use. (Called the “G-String Opener”):
“Hey guys, real quick question… My buddy and I were just having can argument that I was hoping you could settle…”
We were discussing a mutual friend who totally messed up with his girlfriend and cheated.
Unfortunately his girlfriend found this other girl's g-string underneath his bed. To cover for himself, my friend told his girlfriend that he has a fetish for wearing women's underwear.
What's funny is his girlfriend loves this idea and now makes him wear this G-String.
So could you settle this argument for me: Do you think he should continue to cover for himself or should he come clean with his girlfriend?”
Like I said, this one has been used by a lot of guys. So you’ll definitely want to create an opener that’s a little bit different.
The key here is to pay attention to the elements of humor, interest, and drama that’s used in this opener. All of these elements need to be used when you create your own.
#3- Go Direct
The final conversation starter doesn’t require any ‘games.’ Many guys think they need a “magical phrase” to talk to women.
However that’s not true. Sometimes the most direct approach works the best.
What do I mean? You approach a woman and tell her that you’re interested in getting to know her. No pick-up lines. No opinions.
And no gimmicks. You walk up and say that you saw something interesting about her and you want to know more.
The key to this conversation starter is to describe that you liked that doesn’t have to do with her looks. So it should be a statement that references her actions rather than her attractiveness. That way you won’t come across as a cheesy pick up artist.
Instead you’re acting like a confident guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go for it.
I like to use a variation of this conversation starter when I see a girl during the daytime. Called the “Serendipity Opener”, you take advantage of the fact that a lot of women believe that ‘fate’ will attract the perfect man.
With this technique, you approach a woman and say how you’re really busy, but there was something about her that made you to want to talk to her. For example, you could say something like:
“Hey, I’m on my way to [Insert whatever you’re doing], but you seem like a cool person who I had to meet!
My name is…”
Obviously this is a very direct way to start a conversation. She can either choose to get to know you or she doesn’t. It’s what they call high risk/high reward.
You’ll often get rejected with this one because a woman only has your appearance and body language to judge you by. So if you’re not displaying a confident demeanor, then she might not be interested.
But when the direct opener works, it really works. If she’s interested back, you’ll skip a lot of the game playing that happens with indirect openers.
Instead you’ll go right to the point where you know you’re interested in one another. It’s great for quickly ramping up the physical escalation.
When you go direct all you do is approach the girl, smile, give her a compliment, and then tell her that you “just had to meet her.”
And this isn’t a lie. If you’re approaching this girl, odds are there is something about her that does stand out. (Hopefully it’s more than her looks.)
Depending on the situation (and your preferences), you’ll want to use a different adjective other than “cool.” For instance, some of the words you could use are:
Intriguing
Interesting
Amusing
Funny
Awesome
Fascinating
With this conversation starter, there’s the belief that your actions are random. Play your cards right and you’re the confident guy who she’s been fated to meet.
My advice...The direct opener is great for the daytime when there’s not a lot of time to talk. You’ll get right to the point, talk to her for a few minutes if she’s interested, ask for her number.
I recommended approaching a few women each day using this technique. It’s one of the best ways to overcome many of the mental roadblocks that I’ve discussed in this report.
Conclusion
Well that’s it for this report!
Hopefully you learned some about overcoming the seven ‘mental’
roadblocks which are preventing you from approaching women.
Just remember that it’s a skill like any other. If you challenge these obstacles and take steps to eliminate them, your success with women will skyrocket!
There is a lot more to learn about approaching women in addition to what I just discussed.
In The Art of Approaching system, you’ll get a
comprehensive plan for
approaching women and quickly building attraction.
This course is specifically designed to help you eliminate that “approach” obstacle which plagues many guys.
After implementing the techniques described here, you’ll have the confidence to approach ANY woman, ANY time, in ANY environment.
To give you an idea of the things you’ll learn here’s brief list of what’s covered in this system:
λ Advice opener — How to use the confidence of a subject matter to covertly force a woman to admire you.
λ Compliment opener — The oldest and simultaneously most MISUSED opener known to man. If you do this one wrong…
forget it (you’ll want to pick up another jar of Vaseline!) λ Direct openers — The most DANGEROUS (because it’s the
easiest for her to reject) yet if pulled off right — is very EFFECTIVE!
λ Drama opener -- A simple and powerful technique when done correctly. You’ll captivate her mind and she’ll hang on your every word… if done right! (Fully detailed inside!)
λ Insult opener — This technique is psychological warfare at its heights! But don’t make the mistake of walking up to someone and start slinging the “B” word around and think you’ll get a date (It’s much more subtle but can knock a woman off her high horse!)
λ Joke opener — The most difficult technique… which makes it the most powerful technique. Why? Because IF you know how to make her laugh… you’ve got her right where you want her.
BUT if you don’t… you’ll be cold another night!
λ Online openers — The internet is TOO popular to dismiss.
Don’t think “cyber-lines” with a smiley face will cut it.
However there are tried and true techniques!
λ Opinion opener — Powerful engaging technique. But if you don’t pull this off right… YOU’LL look like a pompous prick!
λ Role-play opener - Understand HOW… and… WHY this works and you’ve built an immediate bridge between you and your desires! And your target will enjoy every minute of it.
λ Situational openers – Quick — Powerful — Explosive… The 3 elements of this technique. Improvise in ANY situation… any time and she’s sure to be yours!
λ The single most important thing you must do if you ever want to see the women you approach again. Blow this… and chalk up your chance of ever “GETTING” the women you desire!
λ How to PROPERLY introduce yourself to the women of your choice! Lame one liners won’t do it… but after you understand this amazing technique the “hardest” part of meeting a women becomes immediately easy!
λ How to “break” the thought patterns present in every woman you ever want to meet. If you don’t use these you’re setting yourself up for failure… even before you start!
λ Discover 4 “How to introduce yourself” structures as your foundation to design your own unique WAYS to greet the woman you desire!
λ How to avoid the old saying… “He who hesitates…
masturbates!” in 3 seconds flat! You’ll quickly identify your target — design your opening — and walk away with your desires in hand. Meeting the girl of your dreams has never been easier!
λ How to NEVER force the woman you’re approaching to cringe!
Very important…. BUT… commonly overlooked. And if you don’t KNOW this one you’ll always wonder “why” she didn’t respond to you (even if you have male-model good looks).
λ How to use a female tactic of seduction on the woman of your choice! (No it doesn’t require bikini underwear) It works like a charm… and leaves an impression on their memory!
λ The one assumption (completely OPPOSITE from the truth) men make about approaching women. Once you know it…
you’ll be so shocked about it, you’ll want to try it out immediately!
λ The 5 things you must do BEFORE approaching a woman.
You’d be surprised how many men don’t have a clue about this one. But if YOU don’t… you’ll look like a dog chasing its tail.
λ 8 commonly overlooked places to MEET a woman. And a simple guide to analyze which place is best for you.
λ 10 do’s of flirting with a woman. They’re quick to grasp… and easier to apply… YET… it creates the environment to make her feel comfortable. (only when she’s comfortable will she want to take it further)
λ “5 don’ts” of flirting. Don’t blow this one. So many men make countless blunders here… and now you can avoid them like the plague!
λ How to mesmerize the women you’ve approached. It’s simple and fun — and you’ll know you’ve got her once you “read her”.
If you’re serious about skyrocketing your “approach women”
success, then I highly recommend you check out The Art of Approaching.
To your Success with Women,