Generalidades de la cuenca Barinas-Apure

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Ready? Wonderful!

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl with long blonde hair and big brown eyes, wearing a pretty yellow dress with flowers on it.” (Obviously, you are describing Hannah.) “Wow, Hannah, you are doing a terrific job!

“She was standing in her front yard, holding three ropes that were tied together, and she was crying.” (Wait for Hannah to cry. You may need to cue her to rub her eyes and sniff.) “She was crying really loud!” (Hannah cries louder.)

“When along came a slightly overweight but exceptionally attractive magician.” Push your stomach out

and swagger toward Hannah.

“The magician saw the little girl. He stopped and asked her why she was crying.” Look at Hannah and

say, “’Why are you crying little girl?’ The little girl said, ‘Because I want to jump rope!’” (Say the little girl’s lines in a high-pitched, very sad and whiny voice.) Hannah will repeat each line—cue her if neces- sary.) “But I can’t!” (Hannah repeats.) “Because these ropes are all too short!” (Hannah repeats.) Wait a beat, and pretend to get a little choked up. Glance up at the audience and burst into tears. Say,

“Wow, that was really GOOD, Hannah!”

Pretend to have difficulty composing yourself as you drop your head, hold up your hand, wipe your eyes, sob, etc.

“So the magician…” Trail off into another sob. Look at Hannah. “You’re…so…good…I feel…your pain!”

Pat her gently on the head and then lean down and pretend to wipe your eyes on her sleeve. This will get a big laugh. Now hold her sleeve to your nose and pretend to blow your nose, making a “razzberry” sound with your mouth. This will get a HUGE laugh, particularly if the little girl reacts and tries to pull away.

“The magician said, ‘Don’t worry little girl! I happen to be the greatest magician in all of unincorpo- rated Canyon County! Let me see those ropes.’”

Take the ropes from her and begin untying the knots. Tie the small ropes onto the long one in an overhand knot, making it appear as if you’re tying three equal sized ropes together to form one length. As you do this, patter, “’Yes, I believe I can help you!’ The little girl looked up at the magician with a hopeful

smile.” (Hannah smiles.) “GREAT hopeful smile! ‘Yes!’ exclaimed the magician, ‘I’ve done it—my magic has worked! Look! One long rope!’”

Stretch out the rope for everyone to see the knots.

“Then the little girl stomped her foot, and shook her finger at the magician.” (Hannah follows suit.) “And she said, ‘That will never do! What if those knots fall apart? I could get hurt! Then my mom would sue you, Buster!” Pause after each line to let Hannah repeat.

After the last line, say, “A little TOO much feeling on that last line, Hannah!”

hanky as you say, “Don’t worry, I happen to have my magic hannnnn…. My magic hankkkkkkker…. AH-

CHOO!” Pretend to sneeze into the hanky. Then pretend to blow your nose into it like you did on her

sleeve. Move the hanky around, apparently blowing your nose on every inch of it. Finally, hold it out to- ward Hannah and say, “Here, Hold this!” She’ll shy away, and may possibly take it gently at one extreme corner, and the audience will go into hysterics.

“The magician said, ‘You see, for some strange reason, my hanky makes everything it touches really sticky!’”

Take the hanky back and blow your nose again. The crowd will groan. Wrap the hanky around the rope and begin wrapping the rope around your left hand, sliding the hanky along the rope as you go. Steal the knots off in the hanky.

Ask Hannah to grab the end of the rope sticking out of your left fist as you put the hanky back in your pocket. Have her repeat the magic words, “Hocus pocus, don’t pick your nocus!”

Slowly unwind the rope (as Hannah holds onto the end) to reveal one long, continuous length. You will get applause here.

Hand the rope to Hannah as you say, “And the little girl was finally able to jump rope to her heart’s con-

tent!” Hannah should start to jump rope—if she doesn’t, cue her to do so. The audience will applaud

again.

Take the rope from Hannah as you say, “And she lived…”

Look at Hannah as you trail off, and she’ll say, “Happily ever after!” More applause.

“That’s right! And I hope you will, too, Hannah! Come on folks! Give Hannah a big hand as she returns to her seat!”

You’ll get another very large round of applause to end the routine.

Notes: Talk about lots of response for a little work! This routine ALWAYS knocks ‘em dead. The rope

costs next to nothing and you can make it up in about three minutes and then use it over and over again. Give this routine a try. It will become a staple of your act, or I’m not a slightly overweight but exception-

Chapter Six

Parlor, Platform & Stage