GENERALIDADES Y DEFINICIONES

Your current response to listening to women telling you all of their problems might be to look for the nearest exit and run away! “Because the only reason you were listening in the first place was likely because she is a gorgeous girl. You would never listen to an ugly girl complain. While this reaction to listening to a beautiful woman’s problems is nothing more than male instinct it’s time to change your behavior. by actually listening to all girls. Next time a woman discusses her problems with you, don’t just act like your listening, but genuinely listen. Listen to every word she says. Ask more questions to demonstrate your interest. And, more importantly, match her emotion.”

Part of the process of creating commonality is to listen to the words that people use and then to repeat them back; this is a method called Mirroring or building Rapport which is a technique that came from the late 1970's NLP movement.

We all seem to like to hear our own words back and this

convinces us that we are consistent and whatever is said next by the person speaking to us relates to us directly but also even if it

is a slight extension of what we are saying at least it directly relates to our own self of existence, a piece of research by Rick Van Baaren et al (2003) shows this, it shows that when food servers repeated back the order of the customers without any nice-ness the repeating back of the order alone pushed up the tips received by 70%.

Emotion matching is important to pacing someone’s reality. “By matching a woman’s mood, whether happy or sad, she feels emotionally connected to you. If a woman’s telling a sad story, respond with;

“Awww I’m really sorry to hear that”.

If a woman is complaining about something, show her you understand:

“Yeah I know what you mean”

If a woman is telling a happy story, get happy with her.

“Wow that’s incredible! What did you do?”. Fate,J. Reil, S.

(2003)

Once we’ve used our words and body language to communicate that we are similar to the girls (and boys) we are speaking to.

Then we can lead their realities, by relating persuasive messages directly to them.

We are not just trying to copy their body language, but we are attempting to get them to mimic us as a soft compliance test to see if they are following our social proof, by leading them to mimic body language that signals feelings of attraction, we cause

them to feel those feelings. One example of this is; Eye contact with the opposite sex.

Eye contact has been consistently shown to lead to feelings of attraction and in many cases, love. Therefore technique that could be categorized as body language is the use of eye contact.

A British scientist determined that, on average, when talking, people look at one another only 30 to 60 percent of the time. This is not enough to rev up the engine of love at first sight. Zick Rubin became fascinated about how to measure and create love!

In his study “Measurement of romantic love” he found that people who were deeply in love gaze at each other much more when talking and slower to look away when someone intrudes in their world” Leil Lowdres: (1997:37)

To give someone the feeling that the two of you are already in love (a self-fulfilling prophecy). Means dramatically increasing the eye contact between you both while the two of you are chatting. When you push up the eye contact so that you are doing this 75% of the time or more a chemical hormone called PEA is often released that is associated with the dilation of the pupils and an elated feeling of wellbeing.

“While you’re cruising the nightclubs always keep that sexy-looking gleam in your eyes. Literally try to melt women with your eyes. If you make eye contact with a woman, make sure that you give her a friendly smile and if close enough to you, simply say “Hi”. If you make eye contact with a woman across the way from you, and she turns away, don’t give up on her. Try to make eye contact again and smile at her. If she smiles back, approach her immediately” Don Diebel (1991: p21)

In one investigation exploring the links between eye contact and attraction, Richard Wiseman (2009) showed that when male and female participants were forced to stare into each other’s eyes for 2 minutes, their attraction rating of the other partner was six times higher than those who didn't engage in the staring exercise.

The feeling of elation and attraction is further brought on by pupil dilation. It’s a two way process, when we are attracted to someone our pupils dilate, and we are attracted to people who have dilated pupils. Dr Eckhard Hess (1973), demonstrated that large pupils were more alluring by showing two pictures of a woman’s face to a group of men. The pictures were identical except, in one of them, Hess had retouched the lady’s pupils to make them larger. The male response to Ms. Big Pupils was twice as strong as to the identical woman with small pupils.

Hess then reversed the experiment to perform it on women and they were twice as attracted to the larger male pupil’s also.

We can’t control the physiological response of pupil dilation, it’s something that happens automatically when we are excited or interested in something. So when your engaging in eye contact with a girl be sure to focus on all the reasons you think she’s stunning, smart and kind and you’ll get big pupils sure to attract her in response.

Most guys when they talk to women, they just stare in one place or down at the floor. If they do so accidentally catch the eye of a woman they look away as quickly as possible and let it go at that.

The most successful guys at getting girls and persuading others, flirt with as many people as they can! Whether its guys or girls!

By doing this you’ll have a lot more fun and you’ll find everyone will be romantically attracted to you.