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Que habla del temor de Dios y cómo nos hemos de guardar de pecados veniales

Before offering a detailed example, I’d like to stress that applying the chessboard metaphor is not about having a script. What I hope to demonstrate here are ways to highlight certain points and ways to add some affective oomph. When reading the fol- lowing, please keep in mind that the pace is relaxed and unhurried. The therapist is carefully assessing (analyzing the function of) the client’s reactions as she goes, atten- tive to what is happening in the moment.

“In this metaphor, it’s as though your life is a chessboard.” (Therapist puts a chessboard or something representing a chessboard on the floor or table.) “So imagine that this is your life. In this metaphor, though, there’s no edge to the board. So imagine the board as extending in all directions, like an infinite plane. Can you picture that?” (Client nods.) “As you’re moving through life, you are picking up pieces.” (Therapist begins placing pieces somewhat randomly on the board.) “Every thought, every feeling, every memory you’ve ever had is a piece on your board. And remember, this board extends in all directions. There’s no edge to it. So just like your own history, once a piece is on your board it’s on your board. There’s no way for pieces to fall off or get knocked off once they’re on. Are you with me so far?” (Client nods.) “Some of these pieces are really pleasant (holding one up piece before placing it on the board). Some are neutral; others are not so pleasant (picking up a different- colored piece). In fact, some of these are downright painful.” (The therapist picks up a few pieces that are the designated “not so pleasant” color and places them next to each other on the board.) “Do you notice something here?” (Client is silent, considering the board.) “The pleasant and uncomfortable pieces sort of hang out together. We could call this one the trauma you experienced in ninth grade (picking up a large ‘unpleasant’ piece), and these are all the painful thoughts and feelings that come along with that (bunches them together on the board). And here are pieces that come up around your grandson (bunches a bunch of ‘pleasant’ pieces together and pauses for client to take this in). And, as we’ve talked about a lot in here, what we humans do is try to win this game! We try to make the pleasant pieces win. We try all sorts of things to vanquish the pieces we don’t want to have (moves pieces around randomly). But we’ve got a real problem.” (Therapist pauses for a moment or two, joining with the client in simply pondering the board.) “What’s the problem with all this strategizing, with all this trying to win, when there’s no edge to the board?”

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Therapist (moving pieces around urgently): “But you want them off of there!” Client: “Just don’t think about those pieces.”

Therapist (moving one of the “unpleasant” pieces on the board): “Yeah, so that’s a move.”

Client: “Oh. Yeah.” (Pause.) “I don’t like this game.”

(The therapist silently picks up one of the pieces that hasn’t yet been placed on the board, shows it to the client, and puts it on the board.)

Client (laughs a little): “Yeah, okay.” (Therapist waits silently.)

Client: “So we’re stuck with it.”

Therapist (picks up another “unpleasant” piece, shows it to the client, and comments casually): “We’re stuck with it.” (Places that piece on the board while continuing.) “Yeah, there’s no way to win this game. But that doesn’t keep us from trying, does it? We’re like this piece here (picking up a piece), fighting the good fight. We move, countermove…move, then countermove (demonstrating this with the pieces). Round and round we go.”

Client: “It’s a stalemate.”

Therapist: “Yeah. Not to mention that it takes a lot of effort and energy.” (Pause.) “So it seems we agree that there’s no winning this game. There may be something else to see here, though. Sticking with this metaphor, what if we are something besides all these pieces moving around?”

Client: “What?”

Therapist: “If you weren’t the pieces, what else might you be— sticking with this metaphor?”

Client (thinks for a bit, then asks hesitantly): “The player?”

Therapist: “Seems like that’s something you’ve tried. To be the player. Adding more pieces, moving them here and there… .Again, staying with this metaphor, if it doesn’t work to be the pieces or the player, what else might you be?”

The Conundrum of Self- as- Context

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Therapist (leaning in): “Ah. Now that’s an interesting idea! What if you

were the board?”

Client: “I would just have all the pieces up there.”

At this point the therapist is well placed to work on the main ideas conveyed by this metaphor. I really lean in as soon as clients arrive at being the board, emphasizing that what we are on to now is something major. It would be important to talk about how the board is in full contact with the pieces, because clients can quickly turn being the board into a control strategy. That is, it isn’t about not being affected by the pieces. It’s about the awareness of being distinct from the pieces and about simply holding and experiencing them rather than getting pulled into battle. I like to (carefully) pick up the board and move with it across the room, inviting the client to notice how the board can move, with all its pieces, in a valued direction.

I tend to save the most (in my view) significant implication of this metaphor for last. After the above points have been made, I ask the client a final question:

Me: “What else do you notice about this board?” (Client looks puzzled, is silent.)

Me (slowly and deliberately knocking on the board): “What do you notice about this board?”

Client (beginning to see): “It’s strong!” Me: “It is strong! It’s intact!” (Client sits smiling, gazing at the board.)

Me: “This board is intact. This board is fully capable of holding these pieces and all the pieces to come.”

I also use the opportunity to assist clients in making the distinction between being the board and feeling like the board. Individuals who are fused with very negative self- evaluations can quickly reject alternate perspectives. They turn to their experi- ences, their thoughts and feelings, as guides to reality. When told that they are actu- ally not to blame for being victimized, for example, or that they are, in fact, acceptable as they are, they immediately check their internal experience. When they find their experience to be incongruent with what they are being told (in other words, they do not feel okay) they reject the contradictory input wholesale. Trying to change these sorts of self- concepts can result in the client feeling even more unworthy. Her “bad” self- concept is further evidence of her flawed nature. In other words, such fix- it efforts tend to extend existing relational networks in problematic ways. I usually put pieces on the board to represent these evaluations, and point out: “Even if you have never had

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the experience of being whole and intact, even if those pieces have never been on your board, you are still the board.”

As I said, the intention in providing this detailed example is to demonstrate how, via thoughtful language and engagement with the client, we can maximize the potential of this and all such metaphors. It is so very important to add heart—that is, being with the client in the experience and allowing yourself to feel the process as it unfolds. I have witnessed really elegant verbal explanations of this metaphor that go absolutely nowhere. The client “understands,” but something vital is missing. The client processes only part of what is before her. It’s as though she gets the idea but not its implications— she certainly isn’t having a “board level” experience. It is pretty clear when this metaphor lands. If there is no “Aha!” there is more work to be done.

If you’re working with the processes sequentially, it can take two or more ses- sions for clients to really contact self- as- context. As I just described, I have often found that starting with the continuous you, processing that with in- the- moment work, then pulling in the chessboard metaphor makes a good “first run” at self- as- context. I recap these exercises and then introduce additional experiential work, such as the label parade (see Walser & Westrup, 2007, for a detailed example), in subsequent ses- sions. Once self- as- context has been specifically worked on, it makes sense to explicitly incorporate this key process (including the pertinent exercises and metaphors) in every remaining session.

Clients vary greatly in their ability to grasp the distinction between the concep- tualized self and self- as- context, and in their ability to begin to access self- as- context. A consultee I once worked with had a client who just could not make the distinction between his thoughts and the Thinker having the thoughts. The therapist kept at it, though, and was finally able to help him get there. After having tried various interven- tions, she had a very direct conversation with the client about how there was a par- ticular thing— the “Self that is larger than thoughts and feelings”—that she had been trying to help him see, and how she felt they hadn’t gotten there. As an example, she talked about the “Continuous You” exercise. (They had done it, but the client hadn’t grasped the idea of the continuous you.) And she spelled out in very clear language what the exercise was meant to get at. She then redid the exercise having laid this explicit groundwork, and the client got it. Once the distinction was made, my con- sultee was able to build upon it by revisiting related metaphors and exercises.

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