El hacer del programa cultura ciudadana y convivencia social

There are two obstacles to continued growth: First, as just discussed, your neglecting to think ahead, anticipate challenges, and troubleshoot can leave you vulnerable to ambush by adversities. Second,

certain self-defeating attitudes can cause progress to stagnate.

Do you have any of the following five stagnating attitudes that could impede your improvements?

The “Now Is Forever” attitude is a nasty notion that goes something like this: “Now that I’ve completed this workbook and I like my looks better, I’ll never have to work on my body image again.” This is like the attitude of some of the students I’ve taught, who think, “Now that I’ve taken the final exam, I can forget everything I’ve learned.” What you’ve learned in this program will continue to be useful only if you mindfully continue to use it.

The “Good Things Never Last” attitude espouses the opposite extreme. For example, some people become apprehensive when good things happen—if they are promoted at work or if they find themselves falling in love. Because they now have something valuable to lose, they start to worry and search for signs that their job or their romance may not be secure. Their actions then slowly sabotage their success and happiness, and they conclude, “I knew it all along. Good things never last.” But, it’s actually the case that their attitude sets a self-fulfilling prophecy in motion. With mindful efforts, good things surely do last.

The “My Best Isn’t Good Enough” attitude is a form of self-blaming used to explain unattained changes or an episode of body image distress. Should you have a perfectly positive, problem-free body image now that you’ve completed this workbook? Absolutely not! Learning new skills well enough to make them a natural part of your life takes time and practice. Furthermore, perfection is a myth—an unreasonable standard to judge yourself against whether or not you’ve done your best. Improvement builds on itself and on sustained effort, which is good enough.

Tough times mean tough times, and that’s all they mean. They are not an ultimate proof of your abilities or your character.

The “Some Things Will Never Change” attitude is similar to the notion that your best is never enough. Both attitudes can cause what psychologists call learned helplessness. This happens when people give up because they decide that they have no control over events. If you resolve that some facet of your body image is unalterable, then you’ll throw up your hands and do nothing to change it. So, obviously, nothing will change. On the other hand, if you put your pessimism on hold, set your goal, and work toward it, change has a real chance. Have you ever achieved things you once believed you couldn’t?

The “Bad Is Good” attitude justifies and perpetuates your lack of body acceptance. The notion here is that hating your body is crucial to your making desired body changes. So you insist on body loathing to motivate you to lift weights or lose weight. Beating yourself up is more likely to undermine your efforts to change your body in satisfying ways.

Metamorphoses

One thing that never changes is the fact that things will always change. Your body certainly has changed during your life, and it will continue to change. Some years ago, I went to my twenty-fifth high-school reunion. Many of us hadn’t seen one another since graduation. Our reacquainting conversations often touched on how our current looks matched our recollections of each other, aided

by circulating copies of our yellowed yearbook. “Wow, you look just the same!” was typically reserved for average- or better-looking classmates. “You look terrific; you really do!” was seemingly remarked to those whose attractiveness had improved over time. “So how have you been?” may have been the socially sensitive equivalent of “the aging process hasn’t been too kind to you, has it?”

The former basketball team captain and hottie to most girls in the class was now a paraplegic, his body forever altered in the Vietnam War. The prettiest cheerleader, whose body had been ravaged by a potentially deadly disease, felt obliged to explain her appearance repeatedly during the course of the reunion. More than a few of the guys had substantial scalp to show for the quarter century that had passed. “Hair today, gone tomorrow,” was a favorite quip. And then there was the woman with gray hair who warned us not to call her “Grandma.” Classmates who’d added inches to their love handles groaned about how they had “grown” over the years. Some women displayed photos taken during pregnancy and sought reassurances that they were no longer “as big as a beached whale.” Some smooth faces had weathered with a few wrinkles. And speaking of faces, where was Larry? We wondered if his cystic acne, about which he’d been so terribly teased, had scarred his life.

Time truly transforms everyone—psychologically and physically. With good nutrition, proper exercise, and other healthful practices, we can exert some control over the extent and rate of unwanted physical changes. But we can never look like kids again. This reality, however, doesn’t seem to stop many of us from trying. We search for and buy fountain-of-youth products. We chase the promises of “take it off fast and forever” diets. We hire cosmetic surgeons to erase time with a scalpel, laser, or needle. What would happen if we devoted half of the effort we invest in trying to turn back the clock or have the perfect body to physical self-acceptance? The answer is profoundly simple: We would live happier lives.

Final Words of Encouragement

The sum total of everything you’ve learned in The Body Image Workbook constitutes a new lifestyle and relationship between you and your body. This relationship will continue to grow and provide you with gratification just so long as you stay mindfully active in your efforts. There will be times you’ll want to reread parts of this workbook as fuel for more thought and further action. Your personal Body Image Diary remains a valuable way for you to communicate with yourself about your troubles and to plan your triumphs. Once in a while, reread your journal of experiences to remind yourself of just how far you’ve come.

In the introduction to the workbook, I began by saying that the human condition is inherently one of embodiment. Indeed, in the wise words of the Greek philosopher Plato, “We are bound to our bodies like an oyster is to its shell.” Yes, this is true; but we are not bound to be unhappy with our bodies. We can all come to live lives in which we accept the body we live in and the experiences that our body brings. I extend my heartfelt wishes to you for a mindful and satisfying life of body acceptance.

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