The birth of a child with severe disabilities frustrates the expectations of the parents or the mother498. This is in addition to the pain the family or mother would endure. In cases of abnormalities such as spina bifida or Mongolism, it is extremely difficult for families or the mother alone to be able to stand the situation.499 It is within this context that parents resort to alternative ways of getting rid of such a life. The common understanding is that the child, too, might be undergoing a painful life.500 The suffering is anticipated from both parties the parents and the child itself. Making moral decisions to end a life, based on the status of the
495 Ibid.
496 Ibid. Posted on 20th March, 2010. 11:20 GMT. http://www.qualityoflifecriteria.com. 497 Ibid.
498 Smith, P.M., (2003), Parenting a Child with Special Needs, in News Digest, A Publication of the National
Information Centre for Children and Youth with Disabilities, Washington DC: NICHCY Publishers, ND20, 3rd Edition, 1-2. The article states that when parents learn that their child has a disability or a chronic illness, they begin a journey that takes them into a life that is often filled with strong emotions, difficult choices, interactions with many different professionals and specialists and an ongoing need for information, assistance, understanding and support. The news becomes a threat to their (parent’s) egos and a challenge to their value system. There is an experience of a constellation of emotions that may lead to something positive or negative. 499 Ibid. The point made in this article is that no parent wants his or her child to be sick, disabled or harmed in any way. It is not an experience anyone expects to have rather it is a journey that is unplanned. The terrain families must travel when they have a child with disabilities is often rough. The child with disabilities affects everyone in the family.
500 Brown, D., (1985), Faith and the Future Choices, Ethics and Christian, New York: Basil Blackwell Inc. Publishers, 125.
child, is not an easy one. What is more painful in this regard is the personal relationship between the mother and the child. 501
In normal circumstances, the decision to accept the child with disabilities and live with such a reality for life would certainly take strong minds to come to terms with the reality at hand502. In most cases, it is a moment of pain for the mother, other children, and the entire family. Acceptance of the child with disabilities would be traumatic for the mother, parents in general and other children in the family.503 The mother- to- child relationship gets damaged and may haunt the mother for life.504 The relationship with other children ought to be considered in this case. Strange bodily features would impact heavily on the other children, to the extent that they might be traumatised, extending the suffering to the other siblings.505
One of the most difficult realities could be: how could someone let the child die since the child is already in great pain? How can someone in their right mind let such a child die on its own? How does one induce or facilitate instant death in such cases? Will it involve denying the child human needs or will someone induce death in the child? These are some of the most difficult things to consider and imagine. To be in that situation is, on its own, gravely painful. So, what could be the solution to such issues? There are certain things that ought to be taken into account, for instance, the fact that the child does not comprehend reality fully does not mean that it is immune to the feelings of pain inflicted on it.506 In the first place, the project considers the fact that no human being has the full capacity to make moral decisions that could be regarded as correct judgements that are made beyond reasonable doubt.507 The autonomy of the child is disregarded if life- threatening decisions are made in situations where there conflicts of values and ideologies from which people may draw their conclusions as brown is putting it in his book cited above.508 To some extent,
501 Palermo, T.M. and Eccleston, C., (2009), Parents of Children and Adolescents with Chronic Pain, in
National Institute of Health Journal, Barth: Centre for Pain Research, Issue 146, 1-2, 15-17. In this article, it is stated that it is rare for studies to focus specifically on the mental health of adults exposed to the chronic stress of living with, caring for and parenting a child in persistent pain. Palermo reviewed the potentially devastating impact of chronic pain on parents drawing attention to the widespread social, relational, emotional, and financial impact.
502 Ibid. 503 Ibid.
504 Logan, D.E. and Scharff, L., (2005), Relationships Between Family and Parents Characteristics and
Functional Abilities in Children with Recurrent Pain Syndromes: An Investigation of Moderating Effects on the Pathway from Pain to Disability, in the Journal of Paediatric Psychology, New York: PubMed: 16093517, Issue 30, 698-707.
505 Ibid. 506 Ibid.
507 Brown, M.A., (2002), Human Rights and the Boarders of Suffering: New Approaches to Conflict Analysis, Manchester University Press, 18-20.
similar conclusions are drawn by some people in other places as well. The situation in KwaZulu-Natal to some extent, the above analogy may be applied. Some people out of their own discernment conclude and decide in their mind that they may choose to abandon and dump the child with disabilities in inhuman conditions, where death of the child will take its course. This might be one of the reasons why we have many cases of children with disabilities being found dumped, whether dead or alive.