Excerpts from Frank and Daisy Interview 1
Strategies that the carer uses
Pebble jars they were. And they used to get a pebble every time they did something that was kind. ‘Cos our biggest thing at home, our only real rule at home is that they respect each other. And that they are kind. Because everything bounces off that one rule (para 64).
And just saying to her, do you want to talk to me yet? Or are you ready to go yet? And she’d go from screaming and tantrumming to, no, I want to , okay stay her a bit longer then, and in the send she came out, she never disclosed to my why she was angry, she always came round, and we went off wandering as if nothing had happened (para 115).
Sometimes nothing, sometimes these children will tantrum or Katie will be rude, and I don’t do anything about it. Sometimes I overhear her being rude to one of her siblings, and I don’t do anything about it because they have to find their own hierarchy because I can’t keep stepping in and rescuing someone all the time, sometimes you have to let someone find their own place (para 119).
Excerpts from Daisy and Frank Interview 2
Behaviour Changes
Here we actually encouraged Katie to play an equal part (para 19).
I would have, if I was doing something, jobs in the house, they would all have their own jobs, Katie has the tiniest, weeniest little, easiest job, that’s bizarre after watching this, she should have a better job. You know because she is able. I think we might change that at home, we might give her more (para 25).
But Katie has been, I’m choosing jobs because it is an easy example, but Katie would be asked to carry the crisps out because that is what she used to be capable of. And she still, and the crisps is a good idea, ‘cos if I unpack the car I still give Katie crisps or toilet roll because she won’t drop it and she can manage to carry it. Whereas she can probably manage to carry out a bag of jars now. But I have not moved her on and that is an example of life
generally (para 39).
If we expect her to move up a level, we have got to move up a level haven’t we? So perhaps that is something that we will take from here (para 46).
That’s a really important thing that we preach about all the time and we probably need to practice a bit more (para 67).
Latent analysis of Changes between Interview 1 and 2
In Interview One, Daisy and Frank recognised that Katie is older than when she first arrived in their care. They were able to appreciate that four year olds might have tantrums and that Katie when she was initially in their care was developmentally/emotionally delayed and therefore she needed to be supported in the way a younger child might be helped when they were distressed. Within the family Katie was one of the ‘babies’ and an such needed to be protected and expectations continued to be of a younger child.
During the second interview their perceptions had changed. They were able to re-imagine Katie and acknowledged that there expectations of her were too low. They needed to let her grow up; they were able to see their role in her development. Katie’s position in the family had changed. She was now seen as more independent and less needy of their support. Her role had changed and she was no longer the baby of the family.
4.9.1.1 Conscious Awareness, Mentalisation and New Understandings
Between the two interviews of Daisy and Frank there appeared to have been a move from a focus on what the child brought (Child Attributes), to a reflective stance.
In the initial interview there was an emphasis by the carers on her differential
presentation at home and in school with Katie seen as quiet and lacking assertiveness at school whilst at home being comfortable and able to say what she wanted to. Between the two interviews Daisy and Frank seemed to have developed a more coherent view of Katie and the impact that they had with her learning and development.
“Katie can be quite assertive though. …Mr Teacher wouldn’t describe her as assertive. And nor would I if I knew her here. But she can be quite assertive at home. … you’d have two completely different ideas of what she is like.”
Daisy Interview One para 38-40 Daisy and Frank were able to see Katie as presenting different sides to her personality in different contexts and in different places. They appreciated that other people would see her differently and that she might present differently depending on who saw her and the context in which she was in.
Katie was seen as one of the babies in the family. Daisy was able to reflect that she needed to change how she treated Katie as she was getting older but no tangible suggestion was made as to how she might do this.
“Katie is one of the babies of our family and it’s difficult, I used to say, cos they’re little, “Oh no, leave the babies alone, they don’t want to do that, those little ones, come here little ones, come on.” I used to do that. And then I realised they were growing older and that is not actually appropriate anymore.”
Daisy and Frank appreciated that they had become stuck with Katie at a particular developmental stage and that expectations were not high enough (para 65-71). There was an acknowledgement that although they talked about having high expectations they needed to act that way too.
Within the second interview Daisy and Frank were able to mentalise, to show that they could think about their thoughts, those of Katie and then change their behaviour accordingly.
“I’m choosing jobs because it’s an easy example, but Katie would be asked to carry the crisps out because that is what she is capable of….Whereas she can probably manage to carry out a bag of jars now, but I have not moved on and that is an example of life generally.”
Daisy Interview Two para 38 “If we expect her to move up a level, we have to move up a level, haven’t we?”
Daisy Interview Two para 46
Daisy was able to see how she might change what she was doing if she were to support greater independence and how her positioning of Katie as a baby within the family dynamic needed to change. The focus of the home being a place of
competence to a place where learning took place and an understanding of their impact was evident. Daisy and Frank were able to re-imagine and change their perception of Katie and her skills and competencies and had developed a plan to change Katie’s position within the family.