IDENTIFICACIÓN DE LA COMPETENCIA

Evaluative criteria calls on the reader to engage in the process of viewing the findings of the research through not through the expectations of triangulation, rather it calls for viewing the research through a crystal with multiple lenses (Denzin and Lincoln, 2011, p. 5) with readers becoming bricoleurs themselves; open to interdisciplinary interpretive discourse. The aims of this research are not rooted in generalizabilty; rather they are rooted in illumination of human experience in context with diverse theoretical frameworks and qualitative data. Yet evaluative criteria are tricky when employing a bricolage of theory and methods. Expectations that adherence to frameworks for auto- ethnography, narrative inquiry, and critical theories must be suspended to a degree. The explication of these theoretical and disciplinary tensions is interwoven throughout this work, but for illustrative purposes within this section, narrative inquiry for example, sits in complex tensions in regards to differing perspectives on the representation of

experience and the development of internal versus socio-culturally constructed “meta narratives” (Andrews, Squire, & Tamboukou, 2008, p. 6) and whether or not theory should be utilized in narrative research (Clandinin & Connelly,2000, prologue, xxii). Instead, evaluation of this work involves asking if what was employed: supported the goals of the research, in this instance, a critical, democratically informed interdisciplinary inquiry into the phenomenon of dyscalculia, and, did this work employ a bricolage of theory and methods to explore “epistemological, ontological, cultural, social, political, economic, psychological and pedagogical domains for the purpose of a multi-perspectival analysis” (Kincheloe, 2001, p. 682),and lastly, did this research employ the reflexivity that Billington urges when he asks those within educational psychology to consider how children (and adults) are constituted and represented in the disciplines of education and

educational psychology, in extension providing potential sites for amelioration of oppressive knowledge and actions.

Chapter 5

5

Participant Narratives

I think that we have to get rid of the more or less Freudian schema--you know it--the schema of interiorization of the law by the self. Fortunately, from a theoretical point of view, and maybe unfortunately from a practical point of view, things are much more complicated than that. (Foucault, 1993, p. 204).

5.1 Introduction

Though Foucault refers to the interiorization of thought about the self as a ‘Freudian schema’, this is to be understood as illustrative of what emerged as the dominant ontology within the discipline of psychology. The historical etiology of the turn toward seeking ‘inner truth’ holds far earlier origins and extends beyond the scope of this thesis as a technology of self rooted in medieval Christianity. 5 However, in the context of this inquiry, Foucault’s call to reject the inward looking practice born in Christianity but proliferated in psychology is significant, as it speaks to historio-cultural constructions, accepted as expertise, that have become conflated with ‘truth’ about oneself. The early Christian obligations of self surveillance and confession before god, marked a significant historical shift in conceptualizing morality, the self, and truth in ways that eventually morphed into techniques of objectification and examination utilized in psychology

(1993). Foucault suggests this process of self-examination linked to Christian beliefs became extended by Freud, whereby constructs of abnormality and notions of repressed

5

Foucault, M. (1993). About the beginning of the hermeneutics of the self: Two lectures at Dartmouth. Political theory, 198-227.

According to Foucault, one’s sins originated in the violation of church dogma, and such deviance required penance to avoid exclusion from the various rites of the church. Confession was an act of penance and ‘purification’ which necessitated exposing one's inner truths as a means of reconciliation and a progression towards god.

or hidden truths about oneself could only be ‘cured’ through disclosure to, and guidance from the ‘expert’. However, just as Billington (1996) cautions that educational

psychology should not be considered solely as oppressive, neither should the concept of self examination be similarly framed. In being self reflexive about one’s thoughts

feelings actions and experiences (which are particularly relevant in narrative inquiry), the process of examination becomes expository of multiple influences. Knowing oneself in relation to these influences reframes ‘deficit’, as it exposes not inner ‘truths’, but exposes the processes which shape realities. This in fact holds immense potential for amelioration, such as the resistance of self-castigation that occurs when we examine ourselves for ‘internal’ psychological phenomena. This is significant in relation to the participant narratives, as it introduces the history of the discourse of deficits that runs as a thread in the lives of the participants. It is a psychological ontology that shapes how we think, and how others think about us. Yet it is illusionary, as these ‘inner truths’ can only occur as a result of external constructions. Exposing what Foucault refers to as ‘exteriorities’, a different analysis of the self occurs, new knowledge is born, and with that (though Foucault may have rebuked the word), a degree of emancipation can occur.

However, the degree of emancipation that occurred for the participants (and myself), cannot be articulated in a homogeneous or linear fashion. In extension, the narratives are winding, juxtaposed with questions, thoughts, feelings and periodic interjection of theoretical insights.

I begin by providing the foregrounding to my use of narrative through my own ‘Narrative Etiology of a Thesis’, to illustrate the emergence of narrative inquiry as a methodological choice for this research. This is followed by a discussion of Clandinin’s framework for narrative inquiry (2010), and Tamboukou’s Foucauldian genealogical approach to narratives (2010, 1999). This brief discussion of frameworks is followed by the

participant narratives and my own experiences interwoven throughout. These narratives are presented in the order they were conducted, as in addition to the participant’s experiences with dyscalculia, the chronology of the narratives illuminate my own experience as an emergent researcher; the beginning uncertainties, the roller coaster of

emotions, the constant self-reflection, and ultimately the transformative aspects of research.