Presentación de expertos

A mother-in-law’s role is also recognized in coercing or perpetrating violence on wives in Tajikistan.548 _{It has also been recognized that in extended families violence can be}

perpetrated by female members pursuing males’ interests.549 _{Quite often middle-aged}

women are portrayed as ‘terrorizers’ of daughters-in-law.550 _{Similar trends are noticeable}

in the Tajik context. This is also supported by the findings of this study, however during this study it has also become apparent that in addition to mothers-in-law and husbands, there are other family members (natal families) who also subject girls and women to physical and psychological abuse, including mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers. However, these parties are not regarded as ‘perpetrators’ because of the strong social acceptance of

547 _{Kirkwood, C. 1993. Leaving Abusive Partners, London: Sage, pp. 63-73.}

548 _{Polygamy report, 2002; Haarr, 2006; 2007; Haarr, R. 2005. “Violence Against Women in Marriage: A} General Population Study in Khatlon Oblast, Tajikistan”, Project to Reduce Violence against Women (PROVAW) in Tajikistan, Swiss Cooperation Office, Tajikistan; WHO 2000.

549 _{United Nations Centre for Social Development and Humanitarian Affairs. 1989. Violence Against} Women in the Family, New York: United Nations.

550 _{Sacks, B. 1992. “Introduction: New Views of Middle-Aged Women”, in Kerns V. and J. K. Brown (Eds.)} In Her Prime: New Views of Middle-Aged Women, 2nd _{Ed., p. 1.}

such behaviour. This societal approval prevents victims of such violence understanding that what is happening to them is not acceptable despite their relation to the ‘perpetrator’. Interestingly, NGOs do not seem to address violence from natal family members in their initiatives, but instead focus on mothers-in-law’s roles in VAW. This is perhaps due to the antagonism between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law which is also present in Tajikistan. The tension among mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is widely recognized and is regarded as part of a marital life. Usually men do not want to interfere or ‘come between’ their wives and mothers and sisters. A municipal police investigator (with eight years’ experience) notes:

‘Women [mother-in-law, sister-in-law, wife] should solve their disputes among themselves and not involve the man in their disputes. Tensions between mother-in-law and wife have always existed. But the wife who makes him choose between his wife and his mother is the worst kind. I know some men whose wives did that to them and they ignored their mothers, in the end nothing good came out of it.’551

Studies from other countries also observe the presence of antagonism among mothers-in- law and daughters-in-law. Sacks in a cross-cultural study suggests that the antagonism between mothers-in-law and brides, particularly among agrarian peasantries, works efficiently to preserve patriarchal power.552 _{She notes that if this antagonism did not exist}

and if mothers-in-law and brides were in a position to collude, their ’enormous economically destructive potential’ would seriously threaten patriarchal power’.553 _The

practical reason behind the desire of mothers-in-law to keep their daughters-in-law in a subordinate position may lie in access to resources. When in-laws rely on their son’s income, it is in their interests to keep their daughter-in-law cowed and submissive, and excluded from the decision-making process.554 _{In Tajikistan, wives are believed to use}

their position as wives to alter the loyalty of their husbands, resulting in an ongoing tension between mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law and their daughters-in-law as the data suggests. Quite often during interviews it came out that although it is believed to be the

551 _{Interviewee MJS12.}

552 _{Sacks, B. 1992. “Introduction: New Views of Middle-Aged Women”, in Kerns V. and J. K. Brown (Eds.),} In Her Prime: New Views of Middle-Aged Women, 2nd _{Ed., pp. 1-6, p. 5}

553_Ibid.

duty of sons to look after and supply them with resources, daughters are perceived to be more caring towards their parents or natal family in general. As a result, when a young girl or a woman is married she may use some of her own and her husband’s income to assist her parents which creates a tension within her conjugal family over access to their son’s or even the wife’s income. Modavlat explained that her daughter-in-law does not buy anything for the house even though she works (and not her husband); it is Modavlat who uses her pension and her husband’s pension to buy food and other necessities for the family whereas her daughter-in-law uses her money to pay off her sister’s debt. Frequently parents are in competition with the bride/wife over their sons and the resources their sons provide. Men are expected to provide household (material) resources. Women are in charge of the household and decide how to manage these resources. Every member of the family is expected to contribute, especially male members. Therefore, a newlywed bride is considered a threat, as the groom may take the resources he provides (or part of them) to his bride’s family. Thus, mothers-in-law need to secure their son’s loyalty and ensure that resources stay with the family. Hegland adds that as women grow older they learn to manipulate other people as a way of gaining power, and that their ‘most precious resources were their sons’.555 _{Gallin reports that wife abuse is triggered by}

‘a mother’s fear that her son’s wife would alienate him from her and would relegate her to an old age fraught with insecurity and loneliness’.556 _{She further states that ‘in the absence}

of a well-developed social security system women’s attempts to ensure the support of others in their old age underlie wife abuse’.557 _{Gallin reports on the use of violence by}

mothers-in-law particularly in the early years of marriage against a newlywed bride or young wife.558 _{Gallin further explains that this ill-treatment is used in order to ‘break’ a}

newcomer into the ways of the home. 559 _{Campbell in this respect notes that other women}

(particularly mothers-in-law and other wives) inflict violence on other women in order

555 _{Hegland, 1999, p. 246.}

556 _{Gallin, R. 1999. “Wife Abuse in the Context of Development and Change: A Case from Taiwan”, in} Counts, et.al. pp. 252-260, p. 258.

557_Ibid. 558_Ibid. 559_Ibid.

to gain some ‘modicum of personal power’.560 _{Brown notes that an increase in power in}

middle age is universal for women and by no means always accompanied by use of violence.561

This study’s findings demonstrate that the terms perpetrators and victims are not static and change over time. However, this issue is not addressed by the state and NGOs working on the issue of VAW in the country. It is likely that female ‘victims’ become ‘perpetrators’ as they age. Women’s attitudes to violence from husbands and mothers-in- law change when they become mothers-in-law (or sisters-in-law). It also depends on their relations to the perpetrator and the victim. For instance, this study’s findings demonstrate that women’s perception about the role of mothers-in-law depends on who they talk about. Most women participants do not consider their own mothers to fit in the category of ‘traditional’ or ‘usual’ mothers-in-law in their relations with their daughters- in-law and believe their own mothers are ‘too soft’ with their daughters-in-law. For instance, Jamila562 _{believed that her mother was not like her mother-in-law and was too}

soft with her daughter-in-law while Jamila was very critical of her own mother-in-law. Jamila was also critical of her sister-in-law for not doing the housework properly and not looking after Jamila’s parents.

Almost all women participants of this study talked about their mothers-in-law’s negative attitude towards them as daughters-in-law and ‘interference’ or coercion of their sisters- in-laws in their relations with their husbands. None of them directly talked about their mothers or sisters ‘negative’ attitude towards them. Quite often the role of other women such as mothers and elder sisters is disregarded despite their role in maintaining the traditional norms (an example is Shahnoz’s story in Chapter 3). As the stories in the previous chapter suggest, mothers and sisters carry the duty to ensure the adherence of younger girls and women to social expectations. The age and gender based hierarchic structure within a family puts younger girls under the control of their elder siblings

560 _{Campbell, 1999, p. 268.}

561 _{Brown J. 1992. “Lives of Middle-Aged Women”, in Kerns V. and J. Brown (Eds.), New Views of Middle-} Aged Women, 2nd _{Edition, University of Illinois Press, pp. 17-34.}

(though younger brothers have more authority and may exercise control over their elder sisters) and parents. A young girl is regarded as the responsibility of the mother, who is under an obligation to secure the girl’s compliance with societal norms, so as to avoid damaging her reputation and the honour of the family. The better they teach their daughters to comply with their gender role expectations the less possibility there will be that their daughters will be subjected to violence.

4.7. Conclusion

VAW in Tajikistan is made problematic by a range of interacting features including the lack of reliable prevalence data, lack of understanding and problematic definitions. The introduction of the notion of ‘domestic violence’ by NGOs has not helped towards a full understanding of VAW in Tajikistan. The concept only captures a limited part of women’s experience in the country and leads to inadequate institutional responses (discussed in chapters 5 and 6). The lack of a proper definition creates a problem of determining what falls within VAW and uncertainty. It creates a problem for those involved in eradication of VAW and the wider public to determine what counts as VAW. Violence against women can be seen as constitutive of the social order even when women’s economic position changes. This violence can start with the control of girls by mothers to ensure they comply with the existing gender norms. The central motivation for this high level of control is the need to uphold family and the girl’s respectability as a prerequisite for marriage. During marriage it is often the mother-in-law who will coerce or perpetrate violence against a daughter-in-law primarily to maintain economic power relationships, ensure the loyalty of her family members and to maintain the ‘good’ name of the family. This is within a culture where family members share social and economic responsibilities and the individual is expected to serve the interests of the family.

5. The Use and Limitations of Law in