Identificación Microscópica de las Rocas Cajas

The Taskforce was overwhelmed by the investment of the community in the review. Over 130 submissions were received and dozens of round table discussions, events, focus groups, and face-to-face meetings were held to hear the firsthand

accounts of victims and those working in support services. The stories told to the Taskforce painted a harsh picture of domestic and family violence and helped to drive the framework

of reform developed in this report.

In November 2014 the Taskforce published Our Journal: A

collection of personal thoughts about domestic violence.

This document contained the stories of many brave victims who were willing to share their experiences.

This Chapter provides more of the voices that have helped to shape the Taskforce’s deliberations. Reading these stories enables us to better understand the journey of victims of domestic and family violence and sets a powerful context in which to subsequently explore the reform options presented

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The Taskforce has travelled extensively, to seek out and listen to people across

Queensland, to hear their stories of suffering and pain, and to see the incredible strength and perseverance of those who have experienced domestic and family violence and those providing services to support them.

These stories have challenged our thinking and allowed the Taskforce to gain an insight into the extreme demands placed on police, legal services, accommodation providers and health workers, as they tirelessly work to support victims of abuse. These stories have also reinforced the important role the community plays in addressing domestic and family violence. Stories bring us together as a community – and it is the Taskforce’s sincere hope that the stories that are told here will move the community forward in the journey to collectively act to put an end to domestic and family violence.

CHAPTER 3

“

Storytelling is in all of us. It is a natural human response to the

experience of living and witnessing. It’s how we talk to one another, and how we feel like we belong to something bigger and wiser than ourselves. It is instinctive and powerful, and foolishly underrated. As the women who testified to their own abuse discovered, stories can dramatically shift attitudes and international conventions. They immerse and transport us. The act of telling assuages fear and begins healing. Stories identify us, and make sense of who we are. They show us ideas in human action. They inspire us to change, and to want to change. They connect us, and they hold us accountable to one another. They are our common sense. A few thousand years ago, Plato told us that

those who tell the stories, rule society.

_”

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Others described menacing and controlling behaviours which impacted greatly on their psychological well-being. While most had escaped the relationship they continued to work on mending the emotional scars of their experience.

These stories have been essential in informing the Taskforce’s understanding of the variety of experiences of domestic and family violence, and the support that is needed to reduce and prevent such violence in the future.

The Taskforce heard stories of professional women, young women, older women, stay at home mothers, daughters, sisters, Indigenous women, immigrant women and women with a disability. Some men also contributed their stories. These were mostly survivors of childhood violence, but a few wrote of their experiences of domestic violence in an adult relationship.

3.1 Stories and perspectives

The Taskforce called on people who had experienced domestic and family violence to share their stories, in their own words. Many recounted astonishing suffering and violence at the hands of their intimate partners, detailing horrific physical injuries.

“

The first time he was violent it came out of the blue. It was an intense,

terrifying experience. He flew into a rage over something I’ve long since forgotten. What I do remember is his hands closing around my throat. I remember gasping, I remember the fear, and I remember the way he watched my eyes as I slipped towards unconsciousness. He would release the pressure just as I felt myself sinking into blackness, allowing me just enough oxygen so that he could begin the process again. I don’t know how long he did this for, like a cat playing with a mouse, making sure just enough life remained to sustain the game for longer. I don’t remember what happened afterwards. I just remember feeling petrified and trapped. I wanted him to leave then, I asked him to. He

refused. What could I do?

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

The bruises go away and the red marks but the emotional scarring

and the mental abuse always stay but you just learn to deal with it?

_”

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Although every experience was unique, some common messages emerged. Many felt ashamed of their situation, or believed they were to blame for the abuse they received. Some endured years of domestic and family violence.

Victims often recounted being systematically isolated from their friends or family who may have been able to help. Sadly, several victims who did disclose the violence they were experiencing found their family and friends were dismissive. Some believed violence was a normal and acceptable part of marriage, while others saw it as a private matter and did not want to become involved. This lack of understanding contributed to many women feeling isolated and was a significant barrier to those attempting to leave a violent relationship.

Women with children found it particularly hard to leave an abusive relationship. Many did not want to feel responsible for breaking up the family, or were concerned that their children needed their father. Often though children were used to keep women from leaving their abusive partner.

“

I was married for 34 years before my marriage dissolved (I left my

family home terrified of my husband) due to domestic violence. Not one member of my extended family knew of my “closed door life”…Many times I would lay awake, no other man yelling at his partner/wife in my neighbourhood. Was it me, not being a good wife??? I knew it wasn’t

right [but] I didn’t know what to do. Fear, embarrassment, guilt…?

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

During my thirteen years of marriage I was subjected to emotional

and physical abuse. Initially the physical violence started once I was no

longer living near supports of friends and family.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

Nobody could help me. Relatives, colleagues and most of our ‘friends’

seemed to turn the blind eye… I guess people told themselves it was none of their business, and anyway, to them he seemed likeable and popular so what I said about him didn’t make sense to them…It was easy for him to isolate me, and in the end there was nowhere for me

to go.

_”

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Many discussed the underlying attitudes of their abusers towards women generally and their inability to take responsibility for their actions. Some had tried for years, with no success, to get their partners to seek help through counselling, drug and alcohol programs, and mental health support.

Family members of those experiencing violence also contributed their stories. Parents of women in violent relationships spoke of their pain at knowing their daughter was suffering at the hands of a violent partner. Many tried to intervene, but were afraid of exacerbating the situation or contributing to the violence.

Many women made the decision to seek help only after experiencing domestic violence for a long time, often many years. Having made the difficult decision to disclose the

violence and ask for help, some women spoke of feeling demoralised when the first phone call was not helpful.

“

He said to me that, if I left him, he would get the kids and I would

never see them again.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

These perpetrators have severe character disturbance in my view;

they have ingrained core beliefs of some form of entitlement and power. Whether this comes from a historical context of entitlement handed down through families and society from generation to generation or it

is a mental disorder of some kind it needs to be addressed.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

…my daughter, her anxiety increased, mental health deteriorated and

drinking increased. My wife took the brunt of increasingly distressing phone calls. Until my wife received a text from my daughter’s partner “[your daughter] has committed suicide” and he then telephoned me at work telling me [she] was dead…I tried to understand and make sense of it all. When I became aware of her situation I tried to get her to leave her partner and I begged him to let her go/kick her out. Until for her,

there became “nothing” left to live for!

_”

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Many people raised the need to not have to tell their stories repeatedly. Victims of domestic violence often had to navigate between courts, police, refuges, domestic violence services, legal services, perpetrator services, Child Safety, Housing, Centrelink, the family law system and the Child Support Agency. People often became frustrated when they received contradictory information or incorrect referrals, or when different agencies and service providers had conflicting priorities.

One message that stood out in the contributions was the difficulty women had escaping from violence due to their reliance on a violent partner’s income. Women often had few options due to a lack of money and an inability to obtain alternative housing.

“

I want people to truly understand domestic violence. I want women

everywhere to have access to safe spaces to go to. We need shelters. We need Social Workers who understand the power imbalance that is domestic violence. We need ongoing follow up care to heal from the

long-term ramifications of having experienced profound trauma.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

You may ask why did I go back and believe me I have asked myself

the same question but there are so many emotions involved and other considerations. I was for the most part a stay at home mum, and had no financial support and because I kept the violence hidden from my family and friends I literally felt that I had no choice but to stay... I

always hoped things would change.

_”

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Some people recounted excellent responses from police and the courts, but others reported extremely unhelpful and traumatising responses. Many expressed the view that domestic violence is not taken seriously by either police or magistrates, and some felt their safety was not prioritised. In particular, some victims came to feel there was no use reporting a breach of a protection order as no action would be taken.

Navigating the legal system proved particularly difficult for many women. Some spoke of the challenge of finding legal assistance, while others said they found it difficult to understand legal advice and processes. Some victims found court processes and environments especially traumatic if there was no safe room or if they were required to sit near the offender in court.

Many contributors told stories of ongoing violence after separation and of the interplay between domestic violence and family law. Sometimes these were treated as connected issues by the family law courts; sometimes they were treated as completely separate. In both cases, people reported situations where the approach was not appropriate.

“

I later found out that … he was never served the breach by the police.

This information was deeply upsetting as it had been very difficult to actually get the courage to report the breach in the first place and to find that it was never served to him made me think that no one really cared what happened to me and that the police didn’t seem to have respect for me or those in my position. Believe me, I did not deserve to be in this situation and to feel isolated when I finally started reaching

out to tell people what had been happening to me was very damaging.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

In one particular hearing as he left the court he managed to get right

behind me and hissed into my ear.

_”

from a contributor to the Taskforce

“

Custody of our children was awarded to my husband, a perpetrator

of domestic violence with a criminal history. He was never made accountable for his actions, or for the effects his violence towards me

has had on our children.

_”

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Inspired by these stories, it is the Taskforce’s firm belief that change is essential; change that will make a difference to the lives of all who are affected by domestic and family violence. These stories have also allowed the Taskforce to form a clear view about how to best target this change; in our community’s culture and attitudes; in how we provide support so that we achieve an integrated response; and in the police and court systems so that victims are protected and perpetrators held to account.

These three key themes have informed the work of the Taskforce throughout its process of consultation.

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3.2 Summits

The Taskforce held two summits, one in Brisbane and another in Townsville. At the summits, community members, academics, and professionals debated key issues pertaining to domestic and family violence. Delegates addressed topics including a lack of community understanding of domestic and family violence, the need for education, the role of the media, language, the importance of an integrated response, and ways to improve the justice response.

These important conversations provided further insights and generated considerable feedback for the Taskforce.

In the discussion on culture and attitudes, speakers described a lack of understanding in the community about domestic and family violence. Media professionals outlined some of the obstacles they face reporting on matters of domestic violence, including privacy protections which contribute to the lack of coverage of domestic and family violence issues.

The language used to discuss domestic violence was also raised. There was general agreement that the term “domestic violence” was not ideal, as it diminished the gravity of the violence as compared to assault that occurs in the public sphere. However, no clear alternatives emerged during the discussion.

“

Just in terms of use of words, … domestic, the word itself implies

behind closed doors, it implies privacy, whereas, you know, you should respect degree of privacy, it’s a domestic issue, it’s not necessarily our business, whereas I think if we, as you suggested, broadened it to something along the lines of family violence, it becomes more, or perhaps remove the domestic from it, then it might, you might get more of a sense of community ownership of the issue, community responsibility. Because words can be, just looking at one word has sort

of quite powerful undertones.

_”

from a summit participant

“

Finding a universal and authentic language that weights violence

rather than domestic in our referencing. Violence is violence. By shifting the scene from a public place to the domestic context doesn’t alter the act or the impact of the violence. By being euphemistic in how we articulate this violence provides a loophole for the person most

accountable.

_”

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The summits also highlighted the need for bystander education so that people know when and how to intervene in matters of domestic violence. Perhaps the clearest message emerging from the discussion of culture and attitudes was the need for a widespread awareness campaign aimed at all sectors of the community.

One of the key messages that emerged from the integrated response theme was that it is not possible or desirable for one agency to do everything; each agency should do what it does best. Working with families experiencing domestic violence was described as “highly specialised”, and it was considered vital that victims of domestic violence are offered assistance by organisations with the necessary expertise.

“

We need to be talking about social norms, we need to be talking

about a system of attitudes, beliefs and behaviours that provide the context for harmful and abusive situations. And that’s someplace where bystanders can be particularly powerful. And it’s probably maybe seems simplistic but it’s really important to raise awareness and increase people’s knowledge about the issues, because the bottom line is if a person doesn’t see that there’s a problem, they’re never

going to do anything.

_”

from a summit participant

“

We hold the woman at the centre of any responses that we are

formulating. She gets to choose what’s going to make her safer and what’s going to make her less safe. She is the expert in her own life. We will give her the menu of all the things that we can offer but she

chooses what’s going to work best for her.

_”

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In the absence of an integrated response victims can be given inaccurate information, which may influence their decision to stay or leave and put their safety at risk. Some speakers expressed their frustration with the lack of services available in regional areas, where an integrated response is needed. The speakers acknowledged it would be more difficult to offer an integrated response in regional areas, but did not believe these difficulties were insurmountable.

It was frequently acknowledged during the summits that the legal process can be very difficult for victims to navigate, and can, at times, lead to further trauma. Some options for improving the process were mentioned, but the key message that emerged was the need for more legal services, especially in the early stages of proceedings. The success of duty lawyer services for domestic violence matters was discussed with the conclusion that it was a vital part of ensuring that both victims and perpetrators were able to understand the court process and to have their interests fairly represented.

The possibility of a criminal offence of domestic violence was raised and received varying

In document Geología, Petrografía y Mineralogía del Yacimiento de Cromita de Tapo Tarma Perú (página 106-120)