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4.3.1 Why she became a nurse

When did you first think about nursing?

I never thought of nursing, I came from a background where we didn’t go to school. All my relatives are Muslim but my mother went into Christianity because of my father, we are the only Christian family [in my community]. All my other relatives were not

encouraged to go to school because at that time the only schools were Christian, Catholic and they were afraid that they would be converted into Christians, so they just went to learn to read and write. My grandfather he encouraged me to go to school. I did not know the professions. All I knew was my teacher. When I was selected to

secondary school, I was searching for what I would be and made my mind up to be a teacher.

But then…

My very best friend had an accident, and we had to go to hospital. The way she was handled [by the nurses] within minutes, they took her to theatre. They were very fast and very nice to us. This nurse dressed in theatre attire was beautiful, smiling... I was amazed how they could save a life like that, I wanted to be part of that. Then when I went back to school I said that’s what I wanted to become… that was the motivation: to save the lives of people.

How did your family feel about your decision to do nursing?

My family was happy that I could assist them when they are ill. That’s what I have tried to do in my profession, my two aunties have cataracts, I motivated them to come to the hospital as they didn’t have trust in my village to go to hospital.

People would say nursing is a low status career, you will be receiving a very miserable salary, and your life will not progress, it’s difficult for a nurse to marry a rich husband. Then I said ‘I am coming from a miserable life from the village and then I become a nurse and continue to be miserable. No. After all this education I will be miserable!’ so I changed my mind and applied to become a teacher. The second choice remained nursing. When it came to selection they selected me to go to KCN.

I was not upset. When I got selected to KCN I thought if this is what God wants, then this is what I would do.

Was nursing popular?

I don’t know. It was easier to go to KCN when it comes to selection for university, so people would say if I fail here, I would go to nursing. I don’t think it was that popular or that people were looking forward to going there.

4.3.2 Workplace decisions

What did you do after graduation?

That year, as there was no bond we were given choice where to go. Me, maybe

because of my Christian background, I thought my services would be appreciated more in CHAM. So I didn’t choose to work in government. Most of the CHAM facilities are in the remote, rural area. This one was very rural, so I thought ‘ah, town life is better than this’, because I had stayed in [a big town] for secondary school, and Lilongwe for university. Then I said: ‘I stay here [in the rural area] after being in an educational system with water, toilets and electricity inside? [here] you have to carry water on your head!’. They gave me a nice house, but the toilet was far away, I had to draw water from a bore hole, so that was a big difference in my quality of life. I had to go a long way to go to the market; there was no transport readily available, I had to walk. That was a very hard life for me, I was not happy.

So I worked for five months, and then I went politely to the administrator [and said], I want to work in another hospital. I said ‘[here] I will not make it’, she said I understand what you are talking about. I worked for another two, three months and came to work [near the capital], then I got married when I was working there.

That’s when I joined the government. There was more autonomy in the government which made me grow quickly in the profession, I liked the way I worked in government, I was in charge of a ward. If the matron wasn’t there, they would entrust me with that office. In terms of resources CHAM was better, but salaries were the same. But working under CHAM, we had a matron and a doctor, I felt I was working under

somebody, you can’t make a certain decision. But in the government you participate in meetings with matron to make decisions together.

4.3.3 Migration story

After working with government…

When I finished my [second Bachelors] degree I went to (Europe) and stayed there for eight months but that was about the church, it was about families. It was a good experience I liked it very much. So I thought if I go to work in a European country and my children would be going through this kind of education, this would be good. But on the other side it strengthened my idea of not going to serve outside, when I saw the Africans, the way they live there. Maybe I was looking at a different type of people, I didn’t come in contact with black persons working in a hospital or doing any

professional work. All I could see were these men and women in the street, selling things in the street. Why can’t they go home and work in the garden, as opposed to selling cigarettes here? So I think even at home I can make a better life, I can go into the field and work and sell. So for me, it was two forces, go to Europe and you will have this type of life, I was living in a good house, my family I could see the Africans looking at us when we were going shopping in the streets they were admiring us. I was with my husband and children. But it is better I remain at home. So for me I am ok to stay there…

What happened around 2000?

During that time there were lots of adverts for work (overseas) they were offering better salaries. During that time you saw a lot of openings. It was some of us [who went], I never thought of going to work outside, I am kind of uncomfortable to work in a strange environment, but also I am convinced that money, for me, it’s not the answer to all the problems. I can have money, but when I have a lot of money my problems don’t go away. I can find better food but in general I am comfortable that I am still saving the poor people in the country. I wouldn’t say that I am not attracted [to the UK] at some point I am attracted, the education of my children. I don’t have a house, I need to have a house now that I am growing up, maybe if I go to the UK I will find better but to really make up my mind to work somewhere else to build a house? I still hesitate, I don’t know maybe I am a coward <laughs>… I feel good to be at home.

What about friends in the UK?

I have some friends who think that life is too hard [in Malawi], their life is much better [in the UK]. There are hard things of course. It is difficult to adapt and maintain the fast life there, they have to have two, three jobs but all in all the life is better, they can afford to buy a house here, they can send help to their parents. The quality of life for their

parents is better; they have built houses for their parents. I admire them but I can’t make the decision to go.

4.3.4 Future plans

And what is your plan now?

The [NGO] project is finishing in 2011 so I hope to stay till then. The challenge here is I cannot grow, they cannot sponsor me for my Masters, [but] they are happy with my present performance. NGOs usually don’t upgrade you, which means that I have to look for my own sponsorship and it’s not easy to find sponsorship. After serving an organisation for all this time since 2004, I would appreciate if they helped me to move a step forward in my career. My mind is occupied to look for sponsorship for my Masters. I am trying to apply for two [one in the UK and another in Scandinavia].

I would like to stay here in the NGO community, as much as I want to go to the UK because of the money, the better working conditions, it’s not that I don’t want that type of life, it’s only that I want that type of life here at home. So if I work in the NGO I am serving the Malawian people but at the same time I am able to have food up to the end of the month. I don’t have a house yet, but I am saving a little bit every month so that I can have a house over 10 years. It’s important to have a home and to be able to pay school fees for my children and give them food. These three things I am able to do now, to save for my house with my husband and send our children to school and find food. Otherwise in nursing [in the government service/CHAM] at the tenth of the month my salary was finished and yet I couldn’t find food for the whole month, and I would go to work on an empty stomach, it’s hard. For those people who go to the UK it’s hard and maybe I am still here because I have found this job here [with the NGO] otherwise maybe I would have thought of going there.