INFRACCIONES Y SANCIONES

As discussed in Chapter 2, focusing-oriented therapy often gives

significant attention to bodily responses and sensations. I therefore included two

questions for the couple therapists about bodily sensations in order to draw out

whether this aspect of therapy is significant in the work of couple therapists

generally.

WCI5 believed that our relationships could affect our bodies negatively

and positively. So she would check whether the couple’s physical symptoms had got worse since their relationship got worse.

“If they have tightness in the chest, they say it is emotional, relational or

it is to do with the endocrine system. There is a book called The

Anatomy of the Spirit about different energy centres in the body. She

connects that to emotional situations. I do believe that our relationships can affect our bodies negatively and positively. If it comes up that they have got an issue or a problem, I will ask them if it has got worse since their relationship has got worse [Appendix 16].”

WCI16 described how she approached the physical sensations of the

couple. Putting their safety first, she encouraged them to see a doctor to make sure

there was no physical problem there. When they had got the ‘all clear’ from the doctor, she would say that the sensations amounted to a good way of expressing

how they felt. Fear or anger gave rise to physical symptoms, described for example

by a knot in the stomach.

“I think one of the first things that I would ask her is: “Is this an

emotional pain that you are feeling? Would you think that it is an emotional pain?” I would not like people to keep coming for counselling and therapy if they really did have something physically wrong with them. And it is to suggest that the person would see a doctor to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong. I ask them to talk to their doctor first and I say that the therapist can work with them from an emotional point of view. I have got to keep them safe. If they have been to the doctor, checked it out and there is nothing physically wrong, I would say it is

really a good way of describing how they feel. Fear or anger does give you physical symptoms. And just how you have described it then is that you have this knot in your stomach [Appendix 11].”

WCI16 offered an example of how she dealt with the physical sensations. They

would look at the physical sensation with simple breathing techniques to help undo

the knot.

“We could look at that with some simple breathing techniques that would

help to undo that knot. And different breathing techniques to try and I would suggest if they were complaining of a physical sensation they check it out [Appendix 11].”

WCI13 felt it was very important and part of the work to find out about

the bodily sensations of traumatised couples. Both therapist and couple needed to

be aware of physical sensations.

“Someone told me this week that her arms were tingling. For her that

was a bodily sensation. Some other one can say they are feeling sick or nauseated. It depends on what the sensations are really. Someone could say they have got a headache or they are very tired or I think it is all part of the work to find out about bodily sensations. It is very important because they are traumatised as you know. What I would do is be aware of bodily sensations [Appendix 14].”

In the case of the woman with the tingling arms, WCI13 asked her what that meant

to herself. Her response indicated that she got very squeamish when her husband

talked about some particular issue.

“The woman who had arms that were tingling, I asked what that meant.

And she described it as when her husband was talking about some particular issue. So it was a kind of an instinctive reaction of squeamishness of feeling sick. I just checked that one out. Obviously she gets very squeamish when her husband talks about a particular issue [Appendix 14].”

WCI14 recognised that her clients had physical sensations:

have stomach problems if they feel like loneliness. But it is because of course the tension that the body is experiencing [Appendix 13].”

WCI14 explored physical sensations with the clients, bearing in mind their style of

living, other relationships they were experiencing, and the physiological factors

that were all part of the particular physical sensation.

“I explore with them what is the experience, how it is experienced, when

it is produced, how they deal with it. I try to make sense with them what would be a better way of coping with it. The physical sensation they have may perhaps be a reaction to how they are living or to the other relationships they are experiencing. There are a lot of psychosomatic reasons. According to the fear, very introverted people get a lot of problems with tension. That is a physiological fact [Appendix 13].”

To summarise, the interviewees agree that our relationships can affect

our bodies negatively and positively. However, they do not show much interest in

bodily sensations (four out of seven couple therapist interviewees mentioned it and

they were not very much enthused about it). Some couple therapists approach the

physical sensations of the couple in the context of the clients’ safety, they

encourage them to see a doctor to make sure that there is no physical problem

involved.

The interviewees’ reports reveal that the bodily sensation can be feeling sick, being nauseated, a headache, feeling very tired, a knot in the stomach, tingling

in the arms. For example, one client gets very squeamish when her husband talks

about a particular issue. There can be a link between the bodily sensation and the

experience of the relationship problem, how it is experienced, and how it is dealt

with.

Only one of the interviewees says how she deals with the physical

sensation. She uses relaxation and simple breathing techniques to help undo the

significant meanings for most of the interviewees and the interviewees do not often