Infraestructura (Infrastructure)

Thus, there was a sense in which, though the values were challenged and they felt devalued at times, some were still able to hold fast to the values that mattered to them. They had been subject to a range of tensions that had an impact on how they perceived that they were positioned. They had found some ways of resourcing their agency within this, but this came at a high cost. One, having tried to resist, spoke of ‘feeling done in’, of ‘attrition’, tired of fighting battles. Others had talked of ‘opting out’ or had actually chosen to do so.

Holland et al (1998) cite Bakhtin’s insistence that the world must be answered, but the form of the answer is not predetermined. We make choices, consciously or not and, in doing so, author ourselves. Hannah offers us an example of this when she explains how she has trained herself to focus on the positive aspects of her role. In doing this, she is using language as a mediating device to enable her to modulate her emotions (Holland and Valsiner, 1988:250).

Holland et al (1998) reflect on how individuals accommodate in order to enter figured worlds. The figured world of the teacher educator was, itself, constantly changing in order to adapt to the external influences upon it. The discourses and practices that had been the tools to build the history-in-person of the teacher educators had been displaced by powerful discourses around accountability, managerialism and marketisation. Both identities and worlds were in flux and this constant change led some of the participants to feel disempowered, having lost some of their cultural capital as a result of the changes, whilst others were able to recognise and enact a role within this. There are various places in which we can see them as repositioning themselves as they self-authored.

Further study afforded an opportunity for some of the participants to stand back from their immediate situation and to think about what was happening and why. Studying for higher

139 degrees alongside their peers had enabled them to develop a sense of community. The taught sessions on these programmes afforded them a safe space to reflect on their concerns and gain comfort from knowing that they were not alone in their difficulties. Moreover, this studying had exposed them to a range of ideas and literature beyond their everyday experiences. Offering a broader perspective seemed to enable the participants to recognise that their own experiences were not unique, nor, necessarily, restricted to their own fields. They came to see that there were wider discourses at play and to appreciate how changes were permeating education and society more widely. They began to see how the culture that they had encountered was part of a prevailing neo-liberal agenda. Their study towards higher degrees gave them a vocabulary to talk about these things and, in doing so and extending their own understanding of this context, they were becoming more confident in articulating their own ideas and values. The experience of further study had become a space for change and for authoring. They were able to figure their world and their own place within it differently as a result. Michael, perhaps, expressed this the best, offering an anticipated self: ‘I am glad that I am doing my Ed Doc now, because it is making me into the person that I am supposed to be.’ Hence, the changes in their roles, occasioned by the drive to become more academic had led to a potential for agency when so much else seemed constrained.

The teacher educators spoke of trying to negotiate conflicting demands in ways that addressed the needs of different discourses that they had internalised. Juxtaposed with this, they had to address their own inner voices and beliefs, other internally persuasive discourses, about what was appropriate in teacher education, some of which related to their own history-in-person. In Michael’s terms, ‘wanting to be comfortable with himself’ required that they orchestrate the voices. Their self-authoring reflected their struggles. In some instances, they chose to author themselves as different to what they had been, making contrasts between being required to ‘teach to the tests’ in schools and encouraging critical reflection in the university, despite the pressure to focus on ‘transmitting knowledge’. Utilising the professional discourse about the value of critical reflection, they were able to incorporate this into their practice.

140 Bakhtin’s notion of dialogism is of significance here. The participants were being subject to powerful but conflicting discourses and needed to find a way to answer these, using whatever resources they could muster. Some explicitly mentioned ways of answering by looking to things they saw as positive; an internally persuasive discourse that enabled them to continue. Others saw that the tensions offered possibilities for improvisation. Hence, Caroline’s use of her own anxieties about her inability to meet both academic and teaching demands and her lack of resilience became something that she embraced and used with her students.

Within the space of authoring, some were able to improvise and utilise the ‘tools at hand’. Of greatest significance was the relationships that they had with their colleagues. There was mention of both formal and informal support and of camaraderie. Identity in practice seemed to be bound up with perceiving oneself to be a member of a team. Teamwork was valued and the quality of relationships within these teams was stressed. Collegiate practice, despite the emphasis placed on competition, was valued as colleagues shared insights and ideas. Encounters and discussions were often informal. These had replaced the more formal scheduled meetings in terms of developing the culture and world as they saw it.

Hence, it is possible to adapt to and accommodate changes in the figured world as one works on the project of developing one’s identity in practice, if one has the necessary tools and capital. Indeed, Stronach, Corbin, McNamara, Stark & Warne (2002:109) contend that flux is currently an integral part of being a professional, claiming that ‘discursive dynamics come to re-write the professional teacher… as split, plural and conflictual selves.’ They portray practitioners as ‘caught between… an ‘economy of performance’ (manifestations broadly of the audit culture) and various ‘ecologies of practice’ (professional dispositions and commitments individually and collectively engendered’ (ibid). In terms of figured worlds, this has links with improvisation as individuals negotiate demands and desires.

All the teacher educators had been made explicitly aware of the need to engage in RKE, even if the underlying rationale related to income generation had not been made explicit. Some of the newer academics sought to embrace this requirement, seeing this as integral to the role. Michael saw his academic study as a route to liberation. Others were more

141 circumspect. They saw this as a threat, taking time away from their core purpose of teaching or as part of a process in which what they had done traditionally had become devalued and of less importance. Nonetheless, this requirement was there and needed to be addressed in some way. Some sought to improvise, to find ways of meeting this requirement whilst still doing the things that mattered to them. Angela’s decision to take a group of students out to a school exemplifies this. Others claimed that they had tried to engage in KE but had seen that this was not what they thought; it was purely about revenue. Others resisted, offering tactics of delay. However, those who did embrace the research strand, though initially complying with the agenda, had gained a new set of tools. These could be and were used to analyse and critically reflect on their own situation. In some cases, this had led to a capacity to act, to try different ways of doing things, exploring new possibilities as they continued with their studies.