“If I'm in a rock band, I've got a better than average chance of bedding you down than if I was a dentist.”
Gene Simmons, lead singer of Kiss
Girls just love guys who play music in bands. Not only do you get the opportunity to entertain them, you'll demonstrate your confidence by getting up on stage and your teamwork skills by the fact that you're able to perform with other people. Playing in a band is much less nerve-wracking than playing solo because you've got other band members there to support you. Even if they're on different instruments you've still got the psychological support of your fellow band members when performing. So join a band and the groupies will follow.
Being in a band makes for very easy conversation starters when meeting women. If they ask you what you did last weekend and you reply “I was playing this gig at the stadium”, you will have their attention immediately. “Gig? What sort of gig?”, they will reply. “Oh, I play drums in this band named U2” may be a dead give-away that you're a dishonest prick, but “Oh, I play drums in this band named The Ghost Munchers”, or some other name she's never heard of, will do almost as well. Playing in a band that's famous will go a really really long way but there's no guar- antees on fame, so just play because you love it and if you do be- come famous that's an awesome bonus. Once you've got the word “Gig” into your regular everyday lingo, your groupies will
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be wanting to know when the next one is on so they can come along.
If you have already learned to play music (Skill 7) you'll have an advantage when it comes to joining a band, but it's not essential. Plenty of bands form when a bunch of friends who want to learn to play music get together to do it as a group. The key is to find people who are around about your level, or perhaps slightly more advanced so that you can learn from them. If there's a wide discrepancy between the musical abilities of the band members, people are likely to get frustrated, and that will be bad for your Karma. Bands often tend to form spontaneously when people meet at music classes so if you aren't already learning to play a musical instrument (Skill 7) now is the time to take a class and start. If you've never played any musical instrument whatsoever, I suggest you look around for a percussion group to join like a band playing Brazilian Samba or African Drumming. Classes in rhythmic instruments of- ten have bands attached which play informal gigs, and you'll get invited along once you've got the basic hang of it. Percussion is a good way to start because you can focus on your rhythmic skills first on the drums and worry about melodic instruments later. Learn- ing rhythm and melody at the same time will take you longer be- fore you're able to actually get up on stage and perform any-
What To Do
•Find other people at your level and start practicing together •Join an existing band •Look in music newspapers for advertisements seeking band members •Go to a music class and see if any classmates want to form a band
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thing. Sticking just to rhythmic instruments short-circuits the process somewhat.
The advantage of playing in a Samba band is that the dancers who perform with you will be wearing next to nothing. Samba girls basically dance virtually naked with lots of feathers and skimpy bikini costumes just to keep themselves from getting ar- rested. Give them half a chance and they'd go the Full Monty un- der the trance of your hypnotic rhythms. And while the guys in the crowd will be drooling over
themselves while gazing at this spectacular sight, they've really got no chance with the girls. You, on the other hand, are already in the inner circle. Not only can you chat with the dancing girls in the dressing room before and after the gig, you
have ample opportunities to get to know them, ask for phone numbers, addresses and bra cup sizes.
A word of caution is in order lest you end up playing in a band with girls in it. Do not be tempted to attempt to crack onto other members of your own band, unless you're very certain that it's going to be a long-term thing. A one-night stand with another band member is sure to wreck the whole dynamic of the thing and just leave everyone feeling awkward come next rehearsal. Hooking up with one of the dancing girls isn't such a bad idea, depending on how tight your dancers and performers are. But any intra-band relationships run the risk of a Fleetwood Mac style debacle where everything goes a bit haywire. Hook up with your groupies but treat your female band members as another one of the guys.
What To Avoid
•Getting mobbed by all your groupies •Sleeping with other