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Chapter 7: What If She Contacts You?

So you’re living life to the fullest… you’re exercising, you’re eating well, and

you’re getting out of your comfort zone. You’re hanging out with friends and family and maybe reconnecting with old contacts. You’re picking up old hobbies and maybe

starting a bunch of new ones. You’re working hard at work or school. You’re dating other women… and hot ones, too.

Then all of a sudden… BOOMSHAKALAKA!

You get a message… and it’s from her. You get a surge of

adrenaline and you just want to run to the top of a mountain and scream your guts out. If this is how

you feel, then totally go for it (just don’t let anybody know you’re doing it… it may look a bit strange).

Over the next 31 days, it will be extremely likely that your ex-girlfriend will try and attempt to establish contact with you if you’ve done everything properly up to this

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 86 point. As I said in the last chapter, if she’s the needy type, she will most definitely try and establish contact with you. This is a very good thing, but you don’t want to just be her emotional tampon.

Yes, the dreaded ‘emotional tampon’. She’ll get you thinking you guys will get back together, but in all honesty, she’s just using you to help her get over you. Don’t fall into this hole!

At the same time, you don’t want to “punish”… so don’t act angry, jealous, rude, or depressed. Ultimately, you want to convey everything in Chapter 3: Attractive Characteristics.

Now, I know I said that you shouldn’t contact your girlfriend within the 31 day limit, but the game totally changes if she contacts you first.

If she messages you via text or e-mail, don’t reply right away. If she texts you, wait 3 hours before replying. If she e-mails you, wait for 24 hours. You do not want to give her the impression that you are waiting for her call. You want to convey that you’re “busy doing other things” even though this may or may not be the case.

When it does come around to messaging her back, you must keep in mind these three things:

think that you miss her. Right now, we don’t want her thinking that you miss her at all.

2.) You must give off the impression that you’re happy. Don’t come across as

desperate and don’t tell her how depressed you’ve been. Use exclamation marks and tell her why you’ve been busy! Let her know that you’ve been hanging out with friends or busy working like nuts. Let her know that your life is still normal and that you’ve virtually moved on.

3.) Finally, make sure that you cut the message short because you “have to go!” Let her know that you’ve got other things you have to worry about. End the message abruptly, but don’t be rude… just end it with, “Well, I’ve got dinner out with a friend tonight. Maybe we’ll talk later.” And it’s crucial that you leave it up to her to call you or contact you again. You just don’t want to appear needy.

Here’s an example of a good message conversation you can have with your ex if she contacts you first.

YOU: Hey. It’s going really well. Just finished going bowling with some friends.

Hope things are going well for you.

HER: That’s good to hear… did you win?

YOU: It’s good to hear from you but I can’t talk right now. Super busy. Let’s catch

up soon.

Simple, right?

The reason this works is because people want what they can’t get. By showing her that you’re basically unavailable to her, you stimulate her attraction mechanism and this, in turn, makes her want you. Hell, if all you said was, “I can’t talk right now,” she would probably go insane!

Think of this way... What’s more desirable: gold, or grass? I’m not psychic, but I’m going to take an educated guess and think that you said gold. Sure, you could say, “Well it’s obviously gold because it’s worth more money!”

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 89 worth more money? Because it’s rare! Any idiot can walk up to a patch of grass and rip out a handful. But how about gold? Gold is rare and can be difficult to get in large quantities (unless your dad is the Sultan of Brunei, or you’re somehow the descendant of Liberace).

By sending her the message that you’re unavailable, you’re shifting the power from her to you. Now she is the one pursuing you!

What If She Calls?

If your girlfriend calls you, then you still have to use the same principles here. Let her lead the conversation. Don’t sound depressed, angry, or annoyed. Be nice and be cheerful. Make small talk with her. Tell her, briefly, about all the fun things you’ve been doing with all your friends lately. And yes, most importantly, be the one to end the conversation first. Tell her you need to go and that she should call you tomorrow after a certain time. Remember… be cheerful!

What a lot of guys do (and this is a huge mistake) is try to make their ex jealous. You don’t want to brag about all the girls that you’ve been sleeping with or say that you’ve been chatting up an old friend of hers. You also don’t want to bring up your relationship problems at all… leave them alone (for now).

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 90 Don’t ask her any questions about her new love life. Don’t ask her if she’s been sleeping with another guy. Hell, don’t even ask her any personal questions really. Leave that up to her to ask you these questions, since she’s the one trying to contact you. And, obviously, don’t ask her for another shot at the relationship. Right now, you want to keep everything very light and sweet!

However, chances are if you’re ex is trying to contact you, she clearly wants to talk about the relationship. Don’t worry. This is a good thing. It means that she wants to try and fix things. As long as you aren’t the one bringing up the relationship topic, you’re fine. Let her lead the conversation and continue to act indifferent (but again, cheerful).

Remember the goal here… you want to act like you’re unavailable so you shift the power from her to YOU!

If you’ve gotten this far, then congratulations… your ex obviously still cares about you. That means that she most definitely hasn’t lost any attraction for you and it’s a matter of meeting up and ironing out the problems you may have had in the

Featured Customer Coaching Question

Real Email Exchanges From Past Customers (Names Changed For Privacy)

“My Ex Calls Just To Argue…”

Question Sent By: Maninder “Hey whats up brad? Love your book, already read it twice. :)

Just wondering if you can tell me how come my ex keeps calling me and then starts to argue and bitch at me??

We broke up like 2 months ago, I am just about through the no contact phase, going OK although I kinda screwed up at first.

Anyway she called me twice last week… first time she accused me of trying to make her jealous cause I posted pics of me with a girl on Instagram. And then a few days later she called to basically yell at me for talking to one of her friends (I ran into her at the gym and we talked for like 2 mins).

What the hell?! Why is she doing this?? Plz help!!”

“Addicted To Drama…”

Brad Browning’s Reply To Question From Maninder “Hey Maninder,

First thing you should keep in mind is that your ex may be looking for reasons to reach out to you, even if they’re negative reasons. As weird as it sounds, for some people, arguing and bickering with an ex can cure their longing for a conversation with their ex.

leading to irrational behavior and overly-emotional reactions to small issues.

And finally, a piece of advice: do not get dragged into bickering and drama that your ex tries to

start. You need to rebuild attraction and that spark of passion, and arguing / drama / bickering

is totally counter-productive in that regard. It will just reinforce her belief that the breakup was necessary. So, make sure you nip any arguments in the bud, and stick to positive and fun topics. Good luck!

In document ÍNDICE. 1. Marco Estratégico. 2. La Familia IDEPRO IFD. 3. Carta del Presidente del Directorio. 4. Informe de Gerencia General (página 71-75)