Algunas conclusiones
4. Integración del análisis
Bystander Intervention is a philosophy and strategy for prevention of various types of prohibited conduct. It involves safe and positive options to prevent harm or intervene when there is a risk of prohibited conduct, such as dating violence, domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking. If you are not comfortable intervening, due to safety or other concerns, you are encouraged to promptly contact the police to report the incident.
What can bystanders do to make a difference?
Believe someone who discloses a sexual assault, abusive relationship, or experience with stalking or cyberstalking.
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Be respectful of yourself and others. Make sure any sexual act is OK with your partner if you initiate. Watch out for your friends – if you see someone who
looks like they are in trouble, ask if they are okay. If you see a friend doing something shady, say
something.
Speak up – if someone says something offensive, derogatory, or abusive, let them know that behavior is wrong and you don’t want to be around it.
Other Bystander Intervention Strategies
Silent Stare - A disapproving look can be more powerful than words.
Humor - Reduces the tension of an intervention and makes it easier for the person to hear you.
Group Intervention - There is safety and power in numbers.
We’re friends, right….?
Reframes the intervention as caring and non- critical.
Example: “Hey Chad….as your friend I’ve gotta tell you that getting a girl drunk to have sex with her isn’t cool, and could get you in a lot of trouble. Don’t do it.”
Distraction
Snaps someone out of their “sexist comfort zone.” Example: Ask a man harassing a woman on the street for directions or the time.
Allows a potential target to move away and/or to have other friends intervene
Example: Spill your drink on the person or interrupt and start a conversation with the person.
(Adapted from Men Can Stop Rape,
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Risk Reduction Tips
Risk reduction tips can often take a victim-blaming tone, even unintentionally. With no intention to victim-blame, and with recognition that only those who commit sexual violence are responsible for those actions, these suggestions may help to reduce the risk of experiencing a non-consensual sexual act. Below, suggestions to avoid committing a non-consensual sexual act are also offered:
If you have limits, make them known as early as possible.
Tell a sexual aggressor “NO” clearly and firmly. Try to remove yourself from the physical presence of
a sexual aggressor.
Find someone nearby and ask for help.
Take affirmative responsibility for your alcohol intake/drug use and acknowledge that alcohol/drugs lower your sexual inhibitions and may make you vulnerable to someone who views a drunk or high person as a sexual opportunity.
Take care of your friends and ask that they take care of you. A real friend will challenge you if you are about to make a mistake. Respect them when they do. If you find yourself in the position of being the initiator of sexual behavior, you owe sexual respect to your potential partner. These suggestions may help you to reduce your risk for being accused of sexual misconduct:
Clearly communicate your intentions to your sexual partner and give them a chance to clearly relate their intentions to you.
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Understand and respect personal boundaries. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS about consent;
about someone’s sexual availability; about whether they are attracted to you; about how far you can go or about whether they are physically and/or mentally able to consent. If there are any questions or ambiguity, then you DO NOT have consent. Mixed messages from your partner are a clear
indication that you should stop, defuse any sexual tension and communicate better. You may be
misreading them. They may not have figured out how far they want to go with you yet. You must respect the timeline for sexual behaviors with which they are comfortable.
Don’t take advantage of someone’s drunkenness or drugged state, even if they did it to themselves. Realize that your potential partner could be
intimidated by you, or fearful. You may have a power advantage simply because of your gender or size. Don’t abuse that power.
Understand that consent to some form of sexual behavior does not automatically imply consent to any other forms of sexual behavior.
(From ATIXA Model Sexual Misconduct Policy)
Recognizing Warning Signs of
Relationship Abuse
Relationship abuse is not uncommon, and it is a serious issue. Relationship abuse is real and happens more often than you think.
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Relationship abuse is not just violent acts. Relationship abuse is manifested in physical, emotional, psychological and verbal acts with the desired outcome being control over another person. Although most commonly a crime against women, anyone can be a victim of abuse, and it can occur in both heterosexual and same sex relationships.
Relationship abuse is not a private matter. Isolation can be one of the most powerful tools an abuser can use to control their partner. All too often we fail to get involved because we either think their relationship is not our business, or we are afraid and don’t know how to help. Unfortunately, this only reinforces the abuser’s sense that he/she has the right to treat their partner that way. Only by speaking out and recognizing abuse as an unacceptable social behavior can the cycle be broken.
(From itsabuse.com)
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. Here are some of them:
One partner criticizing, humiliating or yelling at the other.
One partner treats the other so badly that it is embarrassing in front of friends or family. One partner has a bad and unpredictable temper. One partner acts excessively jealous and possessive. One partner keeps the other from seeing friends or
family.
One partner threatens to commit suicide if the other leaves.
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One partner is constantly checking up on the other. Healthy relationships are based on equality and respect. Partners make decision together and openly discuss issues like relationship problems and sexual choices. They enjoy spending time together but can be happy apart.
Unhealthy relationships are based on attempts to control the other person. One person tries to make most of the decisions. He or shay may pressure his/her partner about sex or refuse to see how their actions can hurt. In an unhealthy relationship, an individual may feel like she/she should only spend time with his/her partner.
Abusive relationships are based on power and control. One person makes all of the decisions – about sexual choices, friend groups, boundaries, even what’s true and what’s not. Partners spend all of their time together and one may feel like he/she cannot talk to others.
(From loveisrespect.org)
onship abuse is
and is a serious issue. Relationship abuse is real and happens more often than you think.