INVENTARIO DE BECK

Degree papers studied by the students focused on particular subject areas, such as

accounting, the environment or cultural studies. Nevertheless, real-world English language skills remained essential for success in the Degree program and an entry score in TOEIC did not equate to guaranteed success. Gaining and using English skills was one of the main reasons the study group had undertaken their studies at GFC and the Degree Program was generally an opportunity relished by many participants. In Interview Two, Yoichi happily remarked: “It’s different from studying English, it's using English”. However, this feeling was not universal. Riki, whose desire to have an easy life was mentioned in 5.2.4, was exceptional in the cohort and did not believe that he was developing his English skills as he studied in Degree.

The focal students found Degree lecturers spoke quickly and some were L2 English speakers with accents that were new and, unlike Foundation teachers, were not English language teachers accustomed to adjusting their language use to the proficiency of their students. This perceived difference in instruction was a classic ‘be careful what you wish for’ situation because the participants regularly complained of being babied by Foundation lecturers in their English language courses and longed to be ‘legitimate’ students in

Degree, yet once in Degree they often felt as though they had been somewhat abandoned. Moreover, they had to learn the specialized vocabulary for each Degree subject they were studying:

149 It was the first time for me to study accounting and it’s not even my

language, some word was first time to hear and some phrase were special term for accounting, so take some time to understand. I cannot ask anyone to tell me to understand because when I asked my friend they cannot speak Japanese so they also explained to me in English, but they almost said the same thing as the teacher, so it doesn’t help me. (Yuka 6)

Yuka raised a valid point, which the participants may have taken for granted in

Foundation: because of the sheer number of Japanese students in those classes, she could always ask a classmate for a Japanese translation to any English she could not understand. Now that she had become a ‘real’ student in Degree opportunities to receive translated explanations were all but nonexistent. Despite dreaming of being able to use English with other students, when participants entered Degree they felt they had been figuratively cast adrift in an ocean of English and had only themselves to rely on to stay afloat; this sensation reduced with time and experience, but it never vanished completely. The main reason for the subsidence of this sink-or-swim notion was because participants were usually shocked into action and it would be remiss not to acknowledge that the

participants’ English abilities were in a state of continual development throughout this research.

In Interview Five, Yuka recollected finding an old Foundation journal she wrote, which served as a testament to how far she had progressed since starting at GFC 18 months earlier:

I just cleaned up my room and I found a journal which I was doing in Foundation. I did it by myself, but I don't even understand what I wanted to

150 say, you know. My grammar was so ahhh, don't know how to say but my

sentence or structure was terrible. One sentence is too short, but still got the mistake and then cannot catch what I want to say from the journal when I was Foundation. Just wanted to throw it away, ashamed, like I handed it in

already and my teacher saw it. (Yuka 5)

This reminder provided Yuka with confidence just as she entered the third term of her business degree and behind her embarrassment was a sense of achievement that she had come so far in a short time.

The freedom gained with entering Degree, touched on in 5.4.1, came at the cost of increased responsibility. The participants who took it easy and did not study diligently in Foundation suddenly found that they needed to put in a far greater effort outside the classroom as Degree students. The harsh reality of potential failure kept the participants motivated:

During the Foundation, I didn’t study hard after school, but now I need to preview that class. I never feel like I totally understand today’s class, so I need to study hard and teacher speaks English. I need to make an effort every day. (Yuka 4)

Yuka’s statement indicates that she was being strategic and finding a way to act autonomously in response to not being babied as in Foundation. The necessity to use English skills in their studies and the double loading scenario indicated by Yuka above was a source of struggle.

151 mainly on grammar and vocabulary (5). This was one reason why Shihoko was excited by the new challenge of Degree where she could study a variety of things:

I couldn't learn like internationalism or something special. In Foundation, we study just English…it's not really knowledge for me. But I like learning society, like international issues or environmental issues. (Shihoko 5)

Another new element in Degree was the greater presence of international students and their English language and academic prowess, which made some participants feel inadequate and self-consciousness speaking up in class, despite their own increasing proficiency in English. Ken’s assessment of the GFC Japanese students’ academic caliber vis-à-vis that of the international students was as unflattering as it was blunt:

Compared to normal Japanese college student…are not so

intelligent…maybe Vietnamese, they are really intelligent and clever and they could choose the other college…but…they have strong aim, like…to live in New Zealand permanently, but Japanese student don’t have strong aim, just ‘I can’t go to Japanese college cos I’m not so intelligent, so I can go to GFC’…So, I think the quality of student is really different between Japanese and non-Japanese. (Ken 5)

However, many participants, rather than feeling self-conscious, enjoyed the enlightenment that came from sharing classes with other nationalities and were inspired by it. Shihoko liked the fact that she could “know the different opinion from other country”, and seemed surprised that those opinions were “quite different from ours” (Shihoko 4). Participants were stimulated by the knowledge and experience that non-Japanese students brought to

152 their classes, and were interested in hearing different opinions and perspectives. The

participants enjoyed sharing the lessons with these students because they added new dimensions to the classrooms, something that had not been part of their education in Japan. However, they were less impressed by the academic attainment and motivation of their New Zealand classmates.

5.5.4.1.

Differing perspectives of Degree

The four accounts of experiences in the Degree program below provide an understanding of the extremes and differences within the cohort. The initial account is about Shihoko, who was the first in her group to enter Degree. Kayo is focused on next because her experience in Degree led to a level of self-discovery regarding what she wanted in her future. In contrast to Shihoko, Ai came into GFC full of confidence and anticipated her Degree program entry and her account has affinities with Kayo’s, although with less success. The concluding experience is that of Riki, who, unlike all other participants, never seemed to have a concrete study plan and instead focused on the social side of life at GFC, ultimately with negative consequences.

5.5.4.1.1.Vignette: Early entry

Unlike her peers in the same intake group, Shihoko qualified for part-time Degree via her TOEIC score at the end of her first term at GFC. Shihoko was anxious whether she could pass her courses or not, but her mother instructed her to listen to her heart:

153 studies? I knew that many people went overseas once, and studied overseas

in my year. In the orientation, we talked to each other, ‘I used to study in Australia’ and ‘I used to study in Austria’, ‘ok, that's a big problem for me!’ cos I never studied in overseas. (Shihoko 5)

Facing her fear, Shihoko decided to enter Degree at this early stage and navigated through her studies by adapting her approach to meet every new requirement that she faced. In the Foundation program Shihoko asserted that she: “Just did assignment that they gave us and I just enjoyed conversation with my classmates in class” (5). However, once in Degree Shihoko studied at least three hours per night at the library, listened intently to her lecturers, and did a lot of background reading to learn course specific vocabulary. One specific skill that Shihoko developed as a result of transitioning to Degree was time management:

I know how to manage it and I know how it takes. I can make time for my own and I can make time for study. So, it's not really problem for me now. (Shihoko 5)

Despite her initial lack of confidence and concern that she would be left behind by her peers Shihoko enjoyed more academic success than the peers with overseas experience that she mentioned above. She thrived in the GFC environment and had the distinction of graduating from GFC first in her Japanese peer group.

5.5.4.1.2.Vignette: Feeling misplaced

154 motivating or practical for their future. She entered the Degree program with the future goal of teaching English in a Japanese public high school; however, her comment: “I couldn’t enjoy class at all…just listening or checking on Facebook in the class or just sleeping with time” (Kayo 5), indicate that she felt misplaced and uninterested in her studies. In Interview Six Kayo spoke more on what subjects held her interest:

Studying other subject like environment or international relations is very, very boring, but studying language is interesting for me because everyone starts from same place, I mean no background or no experience. (Kayo 6) The phrase “everyone starts from same place” is a very telling one because it highlights one of the main issues in Degree that troubled Kayo: the fact that she had little to no background knowledge in the Degree courses she was taking. It also appears that Kayo may have been constructing her academic identity through comparisons with her peers which, considering her propensity to self-criticism, often had a negative impact on how she viewed herself. According to Kayo, many local and international students had some study and/or practical experience in Degree courses – like environmentalism. Because of this belief, she selected Mandarin as her favorite Degree course, a subject where everyone basically started from the same place. It was, figuratively speaking, a level playing field. Though her results in Degree courses indicated that she would have been successful, Kayo realized that she no longer wanted to teach English in Japan and felt more enthusiastic about working in tourism. This revelation prompted Kayo to transfer to the Diploma program just after the research period so she could study in tourism-focused courses. Kayo was unique because she was the only participant who, with the ability to be successful in the Degree program, transferred ‘down’ to the Diploma program because she believed it

155 made more practical sense to what she wanted to do post-graduation. However, there were also numerous signposts throughout this research that indicated Kayo struggled to

transition to life and study at GFC.

5.5.4.1.3.Vignette: Returning home with a second-class qualification

Ai enjoyed initial academic success in the Foundation program and achieved a good first TOEIC score. However, she soon began struggling and never qualified to study in Degree full-time, a circumstance which was perceived by many Degree students and GFC

management as a failure. Ai studied some Degree papers part-time as a Diploma student, but was not successful, and this, coupled with her poor attendance record, resulted in her losing her GFC scholarship. At times, Ai seemed adrift and at a loss with what to do with her life:

I lost my goals about what I should be in the future and what should I be studying. What do I have to study now? Why am I in New Zealand? I should have choosed a Japanese university or something? I was thinking about that and then I couldn't woke up and I don't know why I struggled sometimes. (Ai 6)

It seems clear that at the time of her final interview Ai was lost and confused; this was a rather dramatic fall for someone who had arrived at GFC overflowing with confidence and pride. However, according to Ai, after the conclusion of the research and while still at GFC, she found herself in a romantic relationship that brought her not only stability but also the composure in her social and academic worlds to allow her to go on and graduate with a Diploma.

156 5.5.4.1.4.Vignette: Returning home without a qualification

Riki was the only research participant who left GFC before he graduated, returning to Japan with nothing to show in an academic sense. He indicated early on that study was not a top priority for him. In his second year, after entering Degree, Riki was frequently absent from lessons due to oversleeping because he often worked late into the night on his various club and committee commitments, which physically exhausted him. When he did attend class, he invariably struggled to focus:

It’s difficult for me to concentrate on one thing if it’s not fun. Like I am playing the Japanese drum and it’s really fun for me, so I can concentrate on the Japanese drum so much, but for the class it’s really difficult for me. (Riki 6)

It appeared that everything in Riki’s life had to have an element of enjoyment attached to it or he quickly lost interest. Unlike the other study students, he refused to apply himself to anything he perceived as boring. Club activities seemed to consume Riki’s attention and for a period he almost completely abandoned his studies – appearing to accept the

consequences of his actions with equanimity. In Interview Six he stated: “I decided to do Japanese drum team instead of study…so even if the class, my score was bad, no worries”. To state that Riki was dedicated to the drum team would not do justice to his level of commitment (see 6.8.3 and 6.10.2). Also in his sixth interview, he revealed: “For me, the Japan drum team is the reason why I am here. If there was no drum team here, I'm not gonna be here” (Riki 6).

157 have to return to Japan because his parents would be unable to pay the fees, but that did not appear to daunt him: “The life is always 50%. It depends on how you think. So maybe I can still enjoy my life even if I failed here” (6). His nonchalance did not last, however. Soon after his final interview he messaged to say that he had withdrawn from the GFC drum team to concentrate on studying. Unfortunately for Riki it was a case of too little, too late: Riki had to drop out of GFC one year before he was due to graduate. However, as will be shown in chapter six, when one considers the immense personal growth that Riki made outside the classroom, his time at GFC could hardly be considered a failure.