When the participants faced challenges, they would seek support from the people and services available. Many of their stories included sharing their emerging challenges with others. They looked to their friends/in-group members or the people they perceived as decision makers and influential to enter new communities. They also looked for social services such as free language courses provided for immigrants.
5.4.2.1 In-group members
The participants mentioned that they talked to people when they encountered challenges, which could be about child-rearing or the feeling of isolation at work. Such cases were reported in all of the participants’ recounts. The participants also asked for help when they needed support.
Particularly, Mia indicated how much the members of her ethnic communities, including her family, helped her life in general. For example, Mia asked her fellow church members to buy Korean groceries during the week as she could only travel to town on Sundays. When Mia enrolled in a certificate course at a local college, she said that her son, who was in high school, had to help her throughout the course. She also mentioned that her son came to a doctor’s appointment to support her because of the language barrier. She commented that there were people she could talk to when she needed emotional support as well, stating, “If I
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tell them any upset stories, then they listen to my stories, and the bad feeling goes away” (Interview 2).
Similarly, Jessica mentioned the effect of talking to people to gain support for her judgements and feelings. She felt that she was mistreated by a tutor at school, and she talked about it with her classmate. They agreed about the tutor, which consoled her so that her feelings seemed justified. Jessica also shared midwife experiences with other mothers, for example that her midwife made her feel that she was only being viewed as a mother, not a person. When Jessica was talking about her sickness to her midwife, the midwife stopped listening to her, insisting that she needed to feed her son. Jessica talked to some mothers who had the same midwife, and she could confirm they concurred.
Like Jessica, the participants often faced differences in beliefs and values, which puzzled them and sometimes emotionally distressed them. One example is from Simi’s recount about differences in raising children. Simi shared a story about different discourses in educating children between her home country and Aotearoa NZ. She was concerned about too much freedom given to children, which resulted in truancy and a lack of respect to adults. She talked about the importance of boundaries for children and young adults. As seen in the following excerpt, she could only have her opinion confirmed by the agreement of the older generation in Aotearoa NZ.
Children should know their boundaries, that they cannot cross the boundaries. But complete freedom, I don't think it is good as well. That is what I feel. I also have a discussion with people, and I have said that there should be boundaries. . . . But here older generation they say that they should be some kind of boundaries. Now they have no respect for older people, but in our culture there is. (Interview 5)
Simi had her own view about raising children which did not align with the mainstream discourse. She challenged the dominant discourse, and her view was supported by an older Aotearoan New Zealander, a member of mainstream
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society in Aotearoa NZ. The second example was about support from her team members and parents on meal time rules at work.
In the preschool, we do have behavioural issues like children don't listen, they are not sitting down. We as a team, we have a plan, even like food eating. Most of the centres, what they do is, if children don't want to eat food, they throw in the bin. We tell them, “You try it if you don't like it that is fine, but you have to eat half of it.". . . No, they are not written. It is an understanding between us. . . . If they don't eat lunch, they don't get pudding. If they don't finish it off, they will miss out afternoon tea. The parents know it. Everybody knows it. (Interview 5)
Simi reported that she recognised her own value could be implemented in her work practices, and she initiated it. The meal time practice at her work was not a written rule. However, her view was supported by other members in her work community: colleagues, parents, and children. As in Simi’s story, when the participants faced challenges due to different discourses, they often sought support from people they were familiar with—in-group members.
5.4.2.2 Decision makers and influential people
The participants also reported stories of seeking support from influential individuals and decision makers. Simi talked to her programme supervisor when she had a problem at her first practicum. She recounted that her supervisor urged her to write it in her reflection (Interview 2). When Jessica’s application to a programme was rejected, she talked to her previous TESOL tutors. They tried to learn the reasons for her unsuccessful application. Jessica also went to see the programme administrators and school administration staff for further information. Similarly, when Mia was facing a problem in registering to become an ECE teacher, she talked to her employer who contacted the New Zealand Qualifications Authority (NZQA) to seek information and to support Mia. Also, a few parents wrote reference letters to help her to register.
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As a Korean school principal, Mia faced challenges whenever there were complaints received about the use of facilities in the host school on Saturdays. Mia wanted to build a Korean school, and she knew it was an expensive project, and she didn’t have financial resources. Mia reported asking the Prime Minister and a city mayor for support for a piece of land. She also looked for investors from South Korea. In terms of resources and a curriculum to run the school, Mia asked Korean national assembly members for support, and she signed a memorandum of understanding (MOU) with a university in South Korea. Like Mia, participants reported that they sought support from people, but not necessarily from the circle of people they knew.