Estimated Study Time
20 minutes
Lesson Scope Good writers are invariably good revisers. They can set aside "pride of authorship" and critically review what they wrote. This lesson teaches you how to systematically edit your composition. Besides editing it yourself, you may want to have others edit, too. No matter who is editing, the criteria are the same. This lesson teaches you the criteria to meet when you edit, common editorial marks to facilitate the editing process, and specific word constructions to look for in the edit process.
Learning Objectives
After completing this lesson, you should be able to • Identify three editing habits for good writers. • Identify eight criteria for editing.
• Identify common editorial marks by use. • Identify wordy constructions for editing.
Lesson Content The following table lists the topics covered in this lesson.
Topic See Page
Introduction 5-33 Considerations 5-34 Criteria 5-35 Editorial Marks 5-38 Wordy Constructions 5-39 Dummy Subjects 5-40 Redundant Expressions 5-41 Smothered Verbs 5-42
Simpler Words and Phrases 5-45
Modifier Problems 5-48
MCI Course 8011B 5-34 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Considerations
Problems Many writers don't revise well because they don't know how, find it difficult and avoid it, and/or don't schedule enough time.
Good Habits Good writers
• Set aside sufficient time just for revising
• At the appointed time, sit down and begin the revision process • Follow established criteria to review and revise their writing
MCI Course 8011B 5-35 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Criteria
Eight Criteria to Check For
The criteria for editing are the same standards you used for evaluating data. As you begin your revision process, check for
• Clarity • Accuracy • Precision • Relevance • Depth • Breadth • Significance • Logic
Clarity Clarity requires you to explain, illustrate, give examples, interpret, elaborate, refine, and resolve. Don’t use jargon that may confuse your readers. You must express your thoughts clearly so they are obvious to your reader. Write so your thoughts are
• Distinct
• Understandable • Vivid
Accuracy A statement can be clear but not accurate. • Does the evidence support your assertions?
• Can you or others verify or test what you say for accuracy? • Have you hit the right target?
Precision A statement can be clear and accurate, but not precise. • Are you specific?
• Is the detail sufficient to support your position? • Is your focus too broad, too narrow, or about right? • Have you placed all rounds in the target area?
MCI Course 8011B 5-36 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Criteria,
Continued
Relevance A statement can be clear, accurate, and precise, but not relevant to the question at issue. Have you shown your reader how your position • Is part of the problem?
• Addresses the question? • Helps to resolve the issue?
Depth Your document may have all of the qualities of good writing yet lack depth. Superficiality is a problem common to many writers and speakers.
• Does your writing identify those factors that make this a difficult problem?
• Have you considered the complexities underlying the subject? • How do you address these complexities?
• Are you dealing with the most significant factors or merely superficialities?
Breadth A line of reasoning may satisfy all of the above standards for assessment, yet lack breadth.
• Have you identified and considered other points of view? • What are they?
• How do they relate to your problem?
Significance This standard is often linked to relevance, but the two are not synonymous. Something may have relevance to the issue at hand, but have little or no significance.
• Have you really addressed the central idea?
• You list facts and other data but which are the most important? • Which will have the greatest effect on the problem?
• Why? • Why not?
MCI Course 8011B 5-37 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Criteria,
Continued
Logic When you write, you bring a variety of thoughts together into some order. When the combinations of words are mutually supporting and make sense in order and combination, your writing is "logical." When the combinations of words are not mutually supporting, are contradictory in some sense, or do not make sense, you say that your writing is "not logical."
MCI Course 8011B 5-38 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Editorial Marks
Purpose When you edit, use editorial marks to indicate where changes are needed. Editorial marks provide a quick code for correcting written compositions. Editorial marks tell what needs to be changed and how it needs to be changed.
Common Editorial Marks
The following table lists common editorial marks, their meaning, and an example of their use and correction.
MCI Course 8011B 5-39 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Noun Strings
Wordy Constructions
Wordy constructions are phrases, clauses, or sentences that use extra words to convey meaning. Wordy constructions can be in the form of
• Noun strings • Dummy subjects • Redundant expressions • Smothered verbs Noun String Rule
Avoid using long strings of nouns to modify another noun. Revise the sentence even if you must add words to make the relationship between words clear.
MCI Course 8011B 5-40 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Dummy Subjects
Definition Dummy subjects are empty expressions that • Hide the real subject
• Increase the sentence length • Delay the point
• Encourage passive voice • Hide responsibility
Rule Delete dummy subjects and move the real subject to the front.
Note: The exception to the rule occurs when the dummy subject refers to something definite mentioned in a recent sentence.
Examples Examples of sentences with dummy subjects are sentences that begin with • It is • It appears • It seems like • There is • There are • It will be
Alternatives The following table lists suggested replacements for dummy subjects.
Dummy Subject Replace with
It is my intention to… I intend to…
There is one thing bothering me. One thing bothers me. There are three reasons for this. Three reasons for this are…
It appears that… I think…
It is essential that… You must…
MCI Course 8011B 5-41 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Redundant Expressions
Definition Redundant words and expressions create meaningless or unnecessary distinctions. They add bulk but not information.
Rule Avoid repeating words or phrases unnecessarily.
Do not use pairs of similar words when one will do. If two ideas are slightly different, is the difference important? If not, eliminate one and retain the one that expresses meaning more precisely.
Use the, that, or which to clarify meaning; otherwise leave them out.
Examples of Redundant Expressions
In the following examples, the italicized word can be deleted because it is unnecessary.
• Separate out
• Basic fundamentals • Start over again • Symmetrical in form • Seldom or ever • Actual facts • Really glad • Honest truth
Alternatives The following table lists redundant expressions and corrected versions. Redundant words are italicized.
Redundant Expression Corrected Version The first sergeant’s function and role are… The first sergeant’s role is The commander engaged in a frank and
candid dialogue.
The commander engaged in candid dialogue.
The staff provides guidance and assistance to
The staff provides guidance to
The regulations won’t allow it. Regulations won’t allow it.
I feel that it’s a good decision. I feel it’s a good decision. The report that I’m writing is nearly
finished.
The report I’m writing is nearly finished.
MCI Course 8011B 5-42 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Smothered Verbs
Definition A smothered verb is a verb (action word) converted to a noun so that it needs a helping verb and prepositions or articles to express action. Smothered verbs lengthen the sentence and sap its vitality.
Smothered Verb
Construction
The following sentence shows a smothered verb construction. You are in agreement with the decision.
In this example,
• The main verb, agree, has been converted to a noun, agreement. • The sentence now needs a
o Helping verb, are o Preposition, in.
A better statement would be--You agree with the decision.
Rule Eliminate smothered verbs in your sentences. Find the smothered verb; convert it to an action verb (or substitute it with a harder hitting verb). Then eliminate the helping verb or other modifiers (the preposition).
Note: Passive voice is a form of smothering; the doer of the action is vague. Use active voice whenever possible to make your writing more
forceful and easier to understand clearly.
MCI Course 8011B 5-43 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Smothered Verbs,
Continued
Distinct Endings
Most smothered verbs have distinct endings • -ance • -ant • -ence • -ity • -mant • -ment • -ness • -sion • -tion Weak Helping Verbs
Smothered verbs rely on weak helping verbs to show action. If one of the following weak helping verbs appears, a smothered verb is nearby.
• Be • Can • Conduct • Do • Effect • Get • Give • Have • Hold • Make • Provide • Put
MCI Course 8011B 5-44 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Smothered Verbs,
Continued
Examples The following table lists possible corrections to smothered verb constructions.
Smothered Verb Construction Correction
You held a meeting. You met.
I made a choice. I chose…
They conducted an investigation. They investigated… You gave consideration to… You considered… You are in support of… You support … He made an attempt to… He tried to…
The NCO provided assistance to The NCO assisted…
MCI Course 8011B 5-45 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Simpler Words and Phrases
Purpose Contrary to popular belief, official writing does not demand big words or pompous phrases. Small, one-syllable words
• Form the guts of the English language • Save writing and reading time
• Give power to writing
Improving Your Writing
To make your writing simple and clear,
• Review the words and phrases from the following table. • Highlight those words in the first column you use most often. • From the highlighted choices, make a list of the seven you most
frequently use and their recommended replacements. • Use this list to edit future writing.
• Repeat the process, picking seven more each time.
MCI Course 8011B 5-46 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Simpler Words and Phrases,
Continued
Improving Your Writing, continued
The following table shows wordy phrases and recommended replacements.
Wordy Phrases Recommended Replacements
A number of Some
A prioritized list A priority list
Adjacent to Next to
Afford an opportunity Allow, let
As a means of To
As prescribed by Under
At the present time Now
At this point in time Now
Attached herewith is Here is
By means of By, with
Due to the fact that Because, due to
For example Such as
For the purpose of For, to
Has the capability Can
In accordance with By under
In addition Also, besides, too
In an effort to To
In conjunction with With
In lieu of Instead of
In order that For, so
In order to To
In regard to About, on
In the amount of For
In the course of During, in
In the event that If
In the near future Soon
In view of Since
In view of the above So
Inasmuch as Since
Incumbent upon Must
Interpose not objection Don’t object
It is essential Must
It is recommended I/you recommend
It is requested I/you request
MCI Course 8011B 5-47 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Simpler Words and Phrases,
Continued
Improve Your Writing, continued
Wordy Phrases Recommended Replacements
Limited number Few
Pertaining to About, of, on
Prior to Before
Provides guidance for Guides Take appropriate measures Act
Take into account Consider
This office I/you
Time period Time, period
Until such time as Until
With reference to About
With the exception of Except for
MCI Course 8011B 5-48 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Modifier Problems
Misplaced Modifiers
Put words and phrases that modify other words or phrases as close to the words they modify. Be sure your meaning is clear. Misplaced modifiers drastically change the meaning of the sentence (see importance of location, study unit 1, lesson 4).
Example The following table shows an example of a misplaced modifier, the explanation, and the correction.
Misplaced Modifier Explanation Correction
During firing, be sure to
lubricate moving parts on your weapon to reduce friction.
As written, during
firing, modifies the
whole sentence. Thus, the sentence means that you lubricate your weapon while you are firing. What you mean to say is that lubrication reduces friction that occurs during firing.
Be sure to lubricate moving parts on your weapon to reduce friction during firing.
The mess sergeant added the noodles and spices to the hot water while
boiling.
As written, the mess sergeant is boiling instead of the water.
The mess sergeant added the noodles and spices to the boiling hot water.
MCI Course 8011B 5-49 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
Modifier Problems,
Continued
Dangling Modifier
Like misplaced modifiers, dangling modifiers are not correctly placed. A dangling modifier actually has no noun in the sentence to refer to.
Dangling Modifier Explanation Correction
As a tank commander, it
is your responsibility to ensure your tank is able to shoot, move, and communicate at all times.
As a tank commander
refers to a person. Therefore it can not modify the following word, it, or the whole sentence. The modifier dangles with nothing to modify.
As a tank commander,
you must ensure your
tank is able to shoot, move, and
communicate at all times.
Running as fast as possible, the football was caught just before time ran out.
This example shows the football was doing the running.
Running as fast as possible, he caught the football just before time ran out.
MCI Course 8011B 5-50 Study Unit 5, Lesson 4
MCI Course 8011B 5-51 Study Unit 5, Lesson 5