La apropiación del texto original o nuclear

(Adapted from the article by Twinet Parmer, 1994) In the Window of Africa store, I see a T-shirt

AFRICAN COLORED NEGRO

AFRO-AMERICAN BLACK

AND AFRICAN AMERICAN – HAVE YOU ARRIVED YET? My color, my hair, my lips

Clearly define me

Anger, fear, shame, confusion, guilt

SELF-CONFLICT

I know that I am African Arrived in America 400 years ago Ancestors

Snatched from West Africa Panic and fear

Crammed

(into holds of slave ships) Traveled

(across unknown ocean) Emptiness, loneliness

Sense of hopelessness, helplessness [Bounded by] chains

[Beaten with] whips

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Neither name nor family

I was and am African

I was identified as “Colored” [And] inherited a fighting spirit A faith, a longing to be free [Still I was only]

Three-fifths of an American Separate [was not] equal Being colored branded me With FEAR

[That I would]

Suffer the fate of Emmet Till

I was and am African

I became “Negro” In the 1950s and 1960s Negro was a good name Equal status with Caucasians? Spell it…with a capital “N” Negroes were outstanding

Booker T. Washington, educator George Washing Carver, scientist Daniel Hale Williams, heart surgeon

Jean Baptist Point DuSable, Chicago settler [But] Negro was noticeably absent from my textbooks. Dick and Jane did not play with Negroes.

I was and am African

A proper Negro Should behave Be accepted Be clean Be mannerly Be a credit To the race Watch my diction [Be a] “House Nigger”

Being a “proper” Negro did not shield me [So] I became an “Afro-American” [This] was short lived

[For I] did not wear [a fro] Was not a ‘60s militant Nor a civil rights activist Nor a trouble maker

I did not adequately express my “Blackness” [But] I was being transformed

Into Black

Proper Negro training taught me that

Black was bad Blackball Blackmail Blacklist Black Sambo

I was and am African

The color black was A challenge to fight Ashamed

Rosa Parks starting trouble

Disappointed by Dr. King, the civil rights activists [But] I agreed to hear him speak

Soldier Field, Chicago 1966

I was converted! Right then

[Right] there I accepted the spirit “We shall Overcome”

“Lift Every Voice and Sing” I was and am proud.

I blossomed in my new identity.

Black is beautiful. So is my big, bushy, nappy, wooly, Afro.

[Yet] I was still a cheerleader

Not a restless, dissatisfied participant

I was and am African

My new label became African American I straddled two worlds –

The mainstream, the world of color I am not ashamed

of my ethnicity

My militancy transformed to the calmer age of the ‘80s and ‘90s

Until May 1992 – Los Angeles riots Being African American

Does not release me from the bonds of [culture]

I was and am African

I wear my T-shirt

No longer ashamed, guilty, or confused I have accepted it

I am this T-shirt So I wear it proudly Nothing hides its message

AFRICAN COLORED NEGRO

AFRO-AMERICAN

BLACK, AND AFRICAN AMERICAN HAVE YOUR ARRIVED?

Yes, I have.

I was, I am, and have always been African.

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Like Parmer (1994), I have gone through several phases and faced many challenges in determining how to define myself. With Dr. Hilliard’s work as a guide, I feel that I am on my way to arriving. His work has encouraged me to challenge the ways that I view being African. For example, when I think back to the short story I wrote for a 10th grade literature class, I am aware of how limited my scope of thinking was about my

identity. In reviewing the text, I am forced to ask myself: Why is the main character, Milly, engaged in a love affair with her slave master? While I am aware that these types of relationships did take place during slavery, I question my reason for placing this character in such a vulnerable state. What was the purpose of Milly needing to be saved – and to be saved in particular by someone who owned her? Hilliard (2002) might compare this notion of the Caucasian savior to the images portrayed in the movie Monster’s Ball (2002), for which Halle Berry won an Academy Award. Could my use of Milly’s character have been attributed to me approaching Banks’ (1981) ethnic psychological captivity stage, which Burt and Halpin (1998) interpreted as the stage when a “person internalizes society’s negative view of his/her ethnic group” (p. 21). Maybe I was

somewhere in the midst of Cross’ (1991) pre-encounter and encounter stages. According to Burt and Halpin these stages occur when “individuals identify with the dominant white culture and reject their own culture” and when “Individuals reject previous identification with white culture seeking instead to identify with Black culture” (p. 20). Whatever the reason, there was some inner conflict that was forcing me to challenge and explore my identity, albeit through Milly’s character. This identity conflict may better be attributed to Semaj’s (1981) diffused extended identity, which is a period when,

Individuals consciously and unconsciously, try to balance the Black and alien world views, but in general, the scale is tipped towards the Black perspective.

They believe that Black is beautiful but know that white is powerful. (p. 22, as summarized by Burt and Halpin, 1998, emphasis added)

Not only do African descendents face identity challenges based on society’s definition of Blackness or African-centeredness, we face challenges imposed on us by those who look like us. As a teenager, I recall several instances when I was put forth as

the one who could pass the brown paper bag test39, had the “good” hair, and could “talk White” if I needed to. If there was ever an opportunity where students could participate in an extra-curricular activity or any school-related activity that required someone to be visible, I constantly heard, “Qiana can do it. She looks like them” or “You do it, Qiana. You can pass”. While I am sure these slights were not meant maliciously, I grew tired of them. Why is it that African descendents constantly challenge one another’s commitment to the race, the culture?

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