Is it OK to breakup with someone with a text message? (Then make up a good back-story for this)
TWIN BROTHERS (Ross Jeffries)
'You're at a club and you meet twin brothers; they are absolutely identical, physically. ONE of them has the best hands of any guy you've ever met. The other is an incredible dancer. Which one do you pick? Same scenario. Again, the two guys are identical. One makes you laugh more than anyone you've ever met. The other is the most incredible kisser you could ever in a lifetime encounter. Which one do you pick? Same scenario: One guy has more money than Bill Gates. The other makes you feel like you are the most beautiful, desirable woman who ever walked the face of the planet. Which do you pick?
WHO LIES MORE (Chris Rock version)
'Hey guys, I need a female opinion… who lies more Guys or Girls?? The way I see it guys tell the small lies like “you’re ass doesn’t look fat in those pants” but girls… they tell the big ones... like... “It's your baby!”'
C and U shaped Smiles (Style) Style: Smile again for me. HB: um, okay.
Style (to wing): See, she's a U. HB: ????
Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a pop star. And she had a theory that people with U-shaped smiles were perceived as unfriendly. And people with C-shaped smiles were perceived as friendly.
HB: So what's a U then?
Style: A U is when your teeth go straight back in your mouth (can add "kind of like a horse" if she's a SHB). A C is when there's a big row of pearly whites in the front. And to my ex, it was more than a theory. She actually got her teeth surgically reshaped from a U to a C.
HB: No way.
Style: And she had me go look at pictures of like Christina Aguilera, who is a U, and Britney Spears, who is a C. Look at the cover of Us or any magazine, and you'll see that it's always a C smile on the cover.
From here, me and the target start inspecting the teeth of random strangers looking for the perfect C or U. It's fun.
Jealous Cat
"My friend has been going out with a girl for about three months and they get along really well, they love each other heaps, but her cat hates him. Like whenever he tries to pet it, it will just look at him like he's an idiot and
walk off and one time he left his shoes by the door and it pissed on them. What do you think he should do? We've thought of four things :
1. Just be nice to it even though it's going to hate him. 2. Ignore it.
3. Say to his girlfriend : It's me or the cat.
4. When she's not looking 'accidentally' (two fingers motion) run it over with his car ..."
PVC Devil (TD)
"Oh, you're getting feisty, huh? You know what I would do with you? I would dress you up.... in a red.. PVC... *devil* outfit.. You'd have little horns like this... and a tail... bitch boots, and... a pitch fork. Now your friend here.. I'd dress her up in a similar angel outfit.. with wings.. and a fur halo.. and I'd roll with you guys on each arm down the street.. Every girl would be jealous of you.. And whenever I'd have to make a decision.. I'd let each of you fight over which decision is the most fun.. and whatever one would be the most fun.. we'd do that."
Negs Collection
Aww.. your eyes are lovely... especially the left one! Aww.. nice teeth! Are they real?
Wow.. you work out.. now and then.. Wow.. you could ALMOST be a stripper!
You are pretty.. you could have been a model.. if slightly taller.. and slimmer..
You could be a model...like a HAND model, I mean. You are pretty.. are you an EX model?
I had to come talk to you cos you looked so cute.. from over there! (point) You look really sexy.. from behind!
Aww.. nice hair!!! Is it real? (pull) Hey it moved! ... Wow.. you could be a hair model.. if you lose the split ends!
You are cute.. in a kinda strange way! You got an interesting figure!
You have something on your nose.
'Cool perfume. I think my granny wears the same.'
"Your hands are so SOFT and GENTLE,.. Like toilet paper". "You look very stunning, must be the lighting"
The Cutest Little Kid
My buddy and I were rolling down Sunset yesterday and we saw the cutest little kid. She looked like she was about 7, and had on this adorable little pink skirt and white tap shoes, and a bonnet. She looked like a little stuffed doll. So my bud says we should adopt this kid because she’d be a great chick magnet. So I roll down the window and say, ‘hey kid, what’s up?’ And the little girl looks at us and gives us the finger. That’s LA for you.
Best Friends (Expanded) (TD)
You guys are best friends aren't you? You have exactly the same facial expressions. And how I know you’re close is every time you start to talk, or I'm talking to you, you guys keep looking at each other first. It’s like girl code.
Sexual Predator (TD)
The method: Show that girls are sexual predators, and then while chatting, keep going back to showing them why what they're doing is just designed to take advantage of you. That's it.
Step 1 - EXPANDED SEXUAL PREDATOR ROUTINE
Lay a STRONG humor anchor. They have to be laughing out of their minds, so that you can keep re-using the callback humor through out the pickup.
"You know what? I can't even trust you guys. Girls are predators. Girls are SEXUAL predators! Guys think that they seduce women and have all this power. Yeah right! Girls choose. They choose. The guys just dangle themselves in front of them *thinking* that they made it happen, but they don't realize that its the girl who chose THEM.
Girls are predators.. They hold the cards.. Examine the evidence.
First, when a guy gets mad at his girlfriend, can he strap on his bitch boots, shove up his push up bra, do up his hair and makeup, and head out to the bar and pull a girl home in under five minutes? Yeah right! It's GIRLS. YOU GUYS have the power to do that, not us guys! (wait while girls laugh).. What percentage of guys can do that? Look at them (point at guys).. They're leaning in and touching, making the girls all uncomfortable, but some of the girls like them anyway.. But the guys THINK its that they were aggressive.. So what, like 5% of guys TOPS can do what 100% of girls can do.
Second, girls are the only gender with one organ designed for NOTHING ELSE but sexual pleasure. (wait while girls laugh) And on that organ, there
are ten times more nerve endings than anything a guy has. (wait while girls laugh)
That's why, when GIRLS have sex, they go (put hands onto hair, and do the following very convincingly, like Meg Ryan "When Harry met Sally" style) "uhhhhhh.... oooohhh.... uhhhhhhh.." (wait while girls laugh hysterically screaming their heads off)
IDEALLY, THE ROUTINE IS SUPPOSED TO DO THE FOLLOWING:
-sets a humor anchor that can be re-used to keep them giggling throughout the duration of the pickup
-gives you fodder to do "busting them on their mannerisms" stuff.. You can now tease them on their actions, and tease them on what they say, showing that its all designed to take advantage of you
-provides a C&F role playing frame for them to play in, that results in them seducing you
-makes the obstacles/peer group love you, because they think you're really fun, and it makes them trust you with their friend that you won't be pushy -establishes a frame that girls are meant to seduce guys, and its normal/cool/fun
-conveys that you know the deal about social interaction
-conveys that you know not to make girls feel uncomfortable by being pushy or trying to "seduce"
-conveys that you probably ARE one of the 5% of guys who can pull a girl home, because just implying that you know what's wrong with other guys' approaches, suggests that you know how to do it right
-mindfucks her into a frame where she's becoming more sexually aggressive
STEP 2 - MISINTERPRETING THEM AS TRYING TO PREY ON YOU