Often ‘human beings forget that the world is not simply given; it is also made and made over in everything they do’ – also in telling stories (Jackson 1995: 148; cf. Bauman 2012 [2000]: 28). Because of my research question, which concerns processes of meaning making, and my emphasis on lived reali- ty, participant observation was the main research method I used. Bauman stated that ‘the way human beings understand the world tends to be at all times praxeomorphic: it is always shaped by the know-how of the day, by what people can do and how they usually go about doing it’ (2012 [2000]: 56). Van Maanen adds to this that ethnographic research ‘presupposes histori- cal knowledge, linguistic competence, and deep personal experience’ (2011 [1988]: xvii). Embedding myself in the lives of those who I am interested in was thus of the utmost importance, but by no means an easy task.
Considering that my research centres on something as personal as home, participant observation at someone’s home is both a logical, but also a diffi- cult choice. Not everyone will allow a (relative) stranger around while they go about their business, certainly not in the most intimate part of their life world. Although I had already spent substantial amounts of time in Malawi and with most of the research participants, I was prepared for the difficulties that might ensue from this. With the group of former street boys this turned out to be less intricate than with the girls residing at the Samaritan Trust shelter. I have been in touch with the boys since 2008, when we resided at Samaritan together.121 I also met with them frequently during my stay in Ma- lawi in 2012–2013. None of them has found stable employment (yet), which meant that they had the time and energy to hang out with me and, probably because of our long history, they allowed me to be present in their homes during their everyday activities. Since they have been my main Chichewa teachers, they were already used to me recording or writing things down in
121 Since my contact with them has been episodic, I believe that Gurney would see parts of this research as being based on ‘episodic ethnography’ (1997). Something he highly recommends to be able to see the differences and similarities in home-making practices over time. Unfortunate- ly, focusing on this extensively goes beyond the scope of this thesis.
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their presence – in fact, sometimes they would make me record or write cer- tain things down so I would not forget or ask them again.
I explained that they were free to stop participating at any moment or could ask me not to use certain stories, but none of them asked me to censor any- thing. On average, I spent about one or two full days a week in their presence, from the morning until nightfall. Usually, we would hang around in town, vis- it friends and relatives or we would go to one of the houses they were renting in a nearby semi-urban area. When the boys had things to do, such as fetch- ing something for a relative or doing some piecework, I was also present, including during the recurring domestic chores, digging toilets, preparing lunch, handing out money to relatives and (girl)friends and the never-ending search for piecework. I focused my attention on stories about home and, in particular, on home-making practices: routines of making oneself at home, such as carefully putting away one’s belongings, but also the relationships with neighbours, family members, whether they appeared at ease and re- laxed while at their residence. I asked questions about this as well, but usually tried to do this later and in private to avoid embarrassing someone.
Things went very differently with the girls, since they had much less freedom of movement and, although I knew some of them from my earlier visits, our contact had not been so intensive. Most of the girls that resided at the shel- ter where I volunteered in 2008–2009 are now either in boarding school or married and living with their husbands.122 At Samaritan, I first had to ask permission for my endeavours, but while the staff deliberated this, I had al- ready spent time with the girls to introduce myself and get to know them. After having been permitted to do my research by Christina, the director, I explained my research topic and intentions to the girls and asked them when I would be able to spend time with them on a regular basis. They decided that I was welcome during the weekends only: during the week they would be too busy with school, household chores and vocational skills training. The fact that there is usually no staff in the weekend, even though there should be, probably also contributed to their decision but, because ‘anthropology should never forget that its project unfolds within the universal constraints
122 Some are also back on the streets. I have managed to find some of these girls again, but their experiences go beyond the scope of this thesis.
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of hospitality,’ I did not try to change their minds and simply agreed to spend Saturdays and Sundays with them (Jackson 1995: 119).
At the weekends, I would arrive in the morning around 8.00 and leave in the afternoon around 16.00, so as to make it back home before dark. Sometimes, I would bring things to do (paper and pencils, a magazine or newspaper to read together), but a lot of the time the girls seemed tired from their chores and weekly routine and we would simply sit on the veranda, do each other’s hair, listen to the radio and gossip (see photo 4). Several times, the girls were visited by donors over the weekend and on Sunday morning’s some of them would go to a nearby church, returning only around lunch time. Sunday af- ternoons were often spent on the sports pitch close by, playing netball or supporting the Samaritan Trust soccer team. Because the girls’ mainly en- joyed free time during the weekends it was interesting to see how they chose to spend this. At the same time, it meant that I was not able to observe a great many of the home-making routines that probably play important roles throughout the week. I remained focused on home-making routines, howev- er, including habits such as bathing three times a day, gossiping, rearranging one’s belongings in the cupboard or on the bed and interaction with the boys at Samaritan. These were all important indications for how the girls were feeling at home. Whenever one of them was very quiet I would go over for a chat, usually cheering her up in the process.
In the beginning, almost all the girls were present during the weekends, but towards the end of my stay, they had got used to my presence and, as a result, I would sometimes find myself with only a few girls. Others went (despite the fact that this is not allowed) to the market or to visit relatives or friends. Al- though this was inconvenient when I had planned a group discussion, I also feel that it was a sign of having successfully integrated in the group. Towards the end, I also witnessed increasingly intense fights among them and I was also confided in or asked for advice concerning their boyfriends (whom they are not allowed to have). Since I had made clear from the beginning that, al- though I had worked at Samaritan as a volunteer before, this time I was not there to deal with them on behalf of the organization, they soon stopped their efforts to hide ‘forbidden’ practices. I took this as a sign of trust.
With trust comes great responsibility, which leads me to consider the issue of privacy and anonymity. Most of the former street boys had recently re- sided at Samaritan and the girls knew them (well). I was often asked to pass messages back and forth and occasionally I would let them use my phone to communicate. There were quite a few romantic relationships between
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65 these boys and girls, two of which were ongoing while I was in the field. Be- ing confided in, by both sides, greatly enhanced my understandings of both the boys’ and the girls’ expectations and explanations of what took place in these relationships. Because this is a deeply personal and intimate topic, I have decided to use pseu- donyms.123 I thus asked all the boys and girls to pick a different name for themselves, instead of random- ly assigning them one, in order to signal that it matters to me who they are (Young & Barrett 2001: 132; cf. Despret 2008: 130; 131). The girls greatly enjoyed this and started arguing who would get to be ‘Rihanna’ and ‘Beyonce’ before deciding, after some encourage- ment from my side, that they use other names. Despite the fact that both the boys and the girls often used my camera and organized elaborate photo shoots of them- selves (see photo 5 on the next page), their house, their activities and their friends until the battery would die, I have chosen not to use pictures in which they can be easily identified (cf. Kearns 2012; Mizen & Ofo- su-Kusi 2007).124
During the second part of my fieldwork, I asked some youth whether it was possible to visit the places they kept referring to as their homes – participant observation on the move, to see how their stories played out in practice. They responded enthusiastically to this, since, for them, it was a nice opportunity to visit these places again without having to spend money on transport and 123 During the writing process, I decided to use pseudonyms when referring to Samaritan’s staff members to safeguard their privacy as well.
124 This is because I want to protect their privacy, in order to make sure that they will not get into trouble in the future because of what they told or showed me. This is also why I do not mention which research participant is depicted in a picture. Most of the pictures were taken by the (former) street youth themselves, but because I cannot trace who took which picture, I do not mention specific names for this either.
Photo 4
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gifts. They also knew that they would not be forced to stay at home, because my presence assured their return to town.125 Samaritan initially responded hesitantly, especially concerning the older girls whose villages were far away. Eventually, they allowed me to take six of them for home visits in nearby ur- ban areas. With the boys, I carried out visits to both rural and urban areas, some of which I had been to already during previous stays in Malawi. We used to travel in a group of approximately eight youth, while with the girls it was me and one, two or three girls, depending on the place we were going to. I had left it completely up to them, which home they wanted to take me to. All I did was make sure that we bought some sugar, soap and salt as a gift for their relatives – something to show that their sons and daughters were doing alright.
125 For those who had been maltreated at home my presence was considered a ‘safety net’.
Photo 5
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During my time in the field, I also engaged in small talk with everyone who was willing to listen and/or talk to me (cf. Driessen & Jansen 2013). In par- ticular, the countless minibus rides that took me all over the city and beyond were great opportunities to talk to fellow passengers. Throughout my thesis, I refer to anecdotes or people that I spoke to and for this I use the reference ‘field notes (date)’. All these notes were written down either during or short- ly after the event that it relates to took place. Before discussing how I went about doing focus groups, I want to emphasize that, although I attempt to couch my research findings in a broader context, I do not claim my research to be generalizable or as describing ‘what it is really like out there’ (cf. Jackson 1995: 160; Gurney 1997). What I present in this thesis is based on the way I interpret what I experienced, which is linked both to whom I met and en- gaged with – a by no means representative group of people – and to the in- terpretations of those with whom I interacted (Yanow & Swartz-Shea 2006; cf. Bryman 2008[2001]: 183; Sumner & Tribe 2012 [2008]: 118). This should not, however, be taken to mean that my story is just that; stories shape the world in which we live by informing our actions and thoughts (Jackson 2005, 2006 [2002], 2008, 2013). I am aware that my story is just one story and that it co-exists with many (un)told others that can equally be used to describe our shared world (cf. Bauman 2015 [2004]: 17–19; Jackson 2006 [2002]; Lyotard 1984 [1979]).