Medios efectivos

The first part of this resolution is to fully embrace the power of forgive- ness, to be sure that no “root of bitterness” has lodged in your heart against anyone (Hebrews 12:15). Is there anyone who has wronged you in the past that you have not fully forgiven?

Anyone?

When we don’t forgive, we throw other people into a debtor’s prison in- side our hearts. It’s like we’re saying, “You wronged me, so I’m going to stay angry with you until you pay for what you’ve done.” But when Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray mountain-moving, powerful prayers, He said, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any- one, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgres- sions” (Mark 11:25).

Did you see that? He said to forgive “anything against anyone.” He wants absolutely no bitterness in us, nor does He want our obedience to be depend- ent upon someone else’s. Others may or may not repent of what they’ve done, and we don’t need to keep anger hanging in a holding pattern until they do. Sometimes your offender may already be dead, meaning you’ll never get the apology you always wished you could hear. But God doesn’t want their past sins holding you back in the present. He wants you to go ahead and forgive and let Him deal with them in His own wise way. It may seem wrong or unfair to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it and hasn’t asked for it, but there are many vital reasons for doing so.

Strong relationships and marriages don’t happen because people never hurt each other. They happen because the people involved keep on forgiving. It’s impossible to go through life without getting hurt by someone at some point. Jesus said, “Offenses must come” (Matthew 18:7 NKJV). But God in His mercy has set up this amazing thing called forgiveness—the escape route for getting out of our own prisons of bitterness to restore broken relationships with others. We forgive not “up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22).

We must never stop forgiving. We may get angry and then confront.

But the very day we stop forgiving is the day we poison a relationship and ourselves. If we are not careful, one wrong can derail us.

God sees each day as its own unique package. At creation, for example, He finished each thing He did in a day. His Word says not to “worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34). Jesus’ model prayer is a daily prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11).

So as we are praying to “our Father in heaven” each day, we are also ask- ing Him to “forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Mat- thew 6:12)—every day. When we refuse to do this on any given day, then both the guilt from our own sins as well as bitterness against others’ sins begins to slither in like a snake and inject venom into our lives.

God’s mercies are “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23)—and so should ours be. He wants us to deal with our junk quickly, keep short accounts, and then move on. But when we go to bed angry and carry it into the next day, a bitter root springs up and grows in us—unfulfilled revenge that tries to pun- ish another with our anger. Any time we close our days without clearing our emotional accounts, things turn sour.

Have you forgiven someone . . . today?

The Fruit of Unforgiveness

Many bitter fruits come from a bitter root. Ephesians 4:26–31 opens with the appeal not to “let the sun go down on your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity.”

Then it goes on to list the horrible things bitterness is able to produce in our lives.

Opportunities for the Devil (Ephesians 4:26–27). Jesus said the thief

comes to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10), and this is exactly what the Devil does in our lives when we give him a foothold. He tries to steal our faith and leave us with fear, steal our joy and leave us with depression, steal our love and leave us with hateful thoughts toward others. The name Satan means “accuser.” And by accusing others in our minds, he causes us to dwell on their wrongs, filling in the unknowns with negative assumptions, keeping us fo- cused on how we’ve been mistreated and unappreciated. He feeds us what we want to hear with one hand, then takes from us the peace that is rightly ours with the other.

Unwholesome speech (Ephesians 4:29). It doesn’t matter what you’re

talking about; bitter people will bring up the person they are angry with and start verbally running them down. If you are talking to a bitter person, be care- ful that their venom against others doesn’t poison you.

Grieving the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Our anger grieves God’s Spir-

it, not only producing bitter fruit but quenching the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. Rather than operating with love, joy, and peace toward others, a bitter person becomes hateful, negative, and restless, closing off his heart toward others. Bitter people become very unlike themselves. The most loving and

joyful people in the world can become hateful, irrational pessimists if they let bitterness take root and don’t forgive.

Believe it or not, bitterness even hurts us physically. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). The tension of trying to contain it can harden our facial features and make us lose the radiance of our countenance, even causing a chemical imbalance in our bodies and lowering our resistance to disease.

Emotionally, socially, and of course spiritually, bitterness depresses and contaminates us. It dries up our fellowship with God so we become like bar- ren, deserted land. God feels far away. Our time in worship and in His Word becomes powerless and joyless. Our prayers feel weak and ineffective. Je- sus said, “If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:15).

It has been wisely said: “Bitterness does more damage in the life where it is stored than the one on whom it is poured.”

The clear conclusion to all of this is that we must forgive! If we are going to obey God and be like His Son—we must forgive. If we want to get the pois- on out of our lives and keep our marriages and relationships strong—we must forgive. If we don’t teach our children to forgive, then they won’t forgive us when we fail. If we want to help others walk in unity and love, we must set the example first ourselves. Or else.