Here’s the deal, often times a beautiful girl is going to stick you in her ‘just friends’ line of non-eligible pursuers if you’re not careful about how you approach your relationship with her. Being in her ‘just friend’s zone’ means you’re not going to get any action, homie. Zero, none, nada. I know it’s a very painful thought. Beautiful girls are not short for male attention – or male friends – and on any given day she has at least a dozen male ‘friends’ who she can call to hang out with. If you want to ‘tap that’ or if you don’t care about any further interaction with her, besides sexy time and dating potential, then you’ve got to avoid her ‘friendship circle’ with all ferocity that resides within you, my man.
Fact: men often mistake friendship for chemistry and you need to be able to distinguish the difference between the two if you’re going to stand any chance of removing yourself from her ‘just friends’ zone. If you do happen to find yourself in her just friends circle, you’ve got to GET OUT OF IT stat or you will never ever get past first base with her.
Following are a few signs you need to watch out for, and if you notice any of these tell tale “you’re just my friend” signs you’ve got to rectify the situation immediately by stating your intentions with her firmly, strongly and clearly. You’re leading the interaction, “No we’re not just friends.” This is how it works:
You’re in her Friendship Zone if:
She tells you what a good friend you are, or will, make. If this is happening you need to shut her down right away by saying something like, “We’re not just friends – nope don’t even think about it.” The idea here is to stay open and ‘friendly’ with her, but make it very clear that you are indeed flirting with her. You want to make it clear that yes, although, she is great and wonderful and all that good stuff, you are pursuing her for more than just friendship. She may throw up defenses and protests, but she’ll respect you more for being man enough to stand your ground with her.
She talks about other guys – a lot. If the two of you have been chatting for a while and she constantly references other men that she is interested in, I’m telling you right now, buddy, you’re in her friendship zone. Again, you’ve got to state your position with her clearly, you’ve got to be direct and make it clear that you are, in fact, wanting more than ‘just friendship’ from her. The trick, at this point, is to back off a bit. You don’t want to make yourself too available. You want to maintain a flirtatious, fun and playful attitude
with her, but you’ve got to step away from any emotional neediness she may be associating you with (friends rely on each other emotionally.)
There is a flip side to this point though: IF she only occasionally mentions other
dudes then she is, more likely than not, just testing you to see if you show any indication of jealousy. This testing mechanism is most definitely a strong indication that she wants you ‘all up in her zone’ – if you know what I’m saying.
She tries to set you up with her friends. Here’s the catch, this could also be a test depending on how she approaches the whole deal. If she is randomly making this offer, it could be genuine since she considers you ‘just a friend’ or she’s trying to see how you will react – what type of man are you? Will you jump at the chance to meet new p*ssy? Regardless of her motive, you’ve got to stand your ground by making it clear that it’s her you’re interested in, “You’re sweet, but I’m not interested in your friend, I’m interested in you…. and you’re just going to have to deal with that ”
You invite her out, and she wants to bring other people along: I’m not referring to an obvious double date, I’m referring to a conversation that looks like this:
You: Let’s go to a movie on Saturday night.
Her: Yeah, that sounds fun. My girlfriends and I were looking for something to do.
Any response that involves her friends is a deflection; it’s her way of saying “Sure, we can hangout… as friends.” In this case you need to restate that you are interested in her, and not her friends.
There's no awkward silence. Lastly if she felt anything sexual for you at all, there would inevitably be an awkward silence between the two of you, at some point, on your first date or meet-up. So, let’s assume you got that first date and she wants to ‘take things slow’ which means that no panty dropping action has occurred yet, and all of a sudden she’s calling you “a friend this” and “a friend that” – think back to that first meet-up. If there was, at any point, that moment where you both pause and kind of just stare at each other and then quickly look away – this is a sure sign of serious baby-making chemistry. If that never happened, she's not into you – truth. One thing you cannot fake is “I want to rip your clothes off right now” chemistry. Sure, if you play your cards right, a girl can feel sexual attraction for you based on other things, but if she is too comfortable around you during that first meet-up (aka: no awkward silences, or cute little flutters of the eyelashes etc.) she’s not feeling you, man. The beauty of all this is that you CAN avoid that “we’re
just friends” syndrome if you lure her into feeling that type of attraction to you over Facebook interactions before you actually meet-up in person (remember, you want to capture her mind –her imagination – and then her emotions will follow.) If, and when, the two of you meet up and she has already invested in her attraction towards you, regardless of physical chemistry, she’s going to want to make it work, because after all – she knows that she ‘already felt all that attraction’ for you. Remember, the example with Katie, slowly her mind opened up to the attraction possibilities with our man in those IM messages, and then her emotional curiosity and excitement compelled her to casually suggest they meet up. No matter how small, Katie had started to develop an attraction for this man, and my guess is that she would over look any flaws or red flags she sees on that first date, because girls don’t like to admit to themselves that their attraction radars were way off. Facebook kinda screws that up for us, but for you - using your new found hot girl getting skills – you can now throw a serious sex party in your pants whenever you damn well choose to.
How to avoid her Friendship Zone
You’re a good guy, I know you are – and that’s why I want to help you to not get trapped in the biggest detriment to your unbridled happiness and sexy pleasure with beautiful girls.
Following are things you can do to avoid her friendship zone from the very first interaction. The trick here is that you always want to be very clear about your intentions from the beginning – keeping the rules and guidelines in mind which we have already discussed re: her psychology.
You want to ask her out right away: when you first start chatting with her you don’t want to be too subtle about your intentions with her. You’re leading the interaction which means you approached her for a reason – for a date. Keep this goal in mind and always circle back to it no matter which tests, roadblocks or barriers she puts in front of you. You’re a man on a hot girl getting mission, always remember that.
Friendliness and allure is the name of the game: you’re not her buddy – goofiness and self depreciating humor can make a girl laugh (which we have already covered), but when you’re first chatting on Facebook you want to create an image of being cool, in charge and aloof. This means, save your extremely self-depreciating (although funny) remarks for when you get to know her a little better, in the beginning you want to remain friendly, open and alluring by working that mystery angle all girls love so much. “Who is this guy?”
Don’t be too available: a girl’s curiosity will drive her on towards wanting to get to know you better. Being overly available and easily ‘figured out’ (aka: she gets an essay from you regarding her questions etc.) is going to result in a loss of interest on her part. My number
one tip about this: always be the first to leave. Follow the 3 hour rule on a date, cutting the interaction off at its peak point, “I’m having a great time, but I promised a friend we’d meet up for xyz… let’s do this again?” Doing so ensures that you leave at the height of the interaction, which means you leave her with a great first impression. The same goes for instant message chats, say goodbye first. If she writes you a private message, there is nothing wrong with taking a few hours – even a day or two – to respond if needed. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If a girl is really harping on her ‘just friends’ thing with you, make yourself scare. If she doesn’t want to date you, in whatever capacity you’re setting forth, she doesn’t get to hang out with you, or message you for hours – she’s got to go out with you to gain access to that delicious wit, intelligence and Sauve you’re working with. Stand your ground here, or you’re never going to tap that. Some girls like to play it cool, which means you’ve got have patience, and she will (more often than not) come over to your view of things if you show (via your actions) what does and does not get your attention. She’s got to want to get vertical with you, in some small way at least, if she wants you to keep sending her soliloquies.