MENÚ 2/2 DE REPLANTEO

The society’s attitude towards interethnic relationships may greatly reflect the views from people who have never been involved in interethnic relationships, so these views are likely to be biased. Gaines and Ickes (1997) distinguished the difference between the views of people in interethnic relationships (insiders) and the views of people not in interethnic relationships (outsiders). Looking at both interethnic relationship insiders’ and outsiders’ view contributes to “A more complete understanding” (ibid. p. 200). Thus, after the outsiders’ (the society’s) views of

interethnic relationships have been reviewed, the views from insiders will be looked at next.

69

Lowther and Lowther (1994), a Black/White couple, thought their marriage was nothing special, it was others who saw them differently. They said “race did not affect our early relationship, that we were just two people truly meant for one

another……marriage was difficult enough without adding the burden of being mixed”. O.Hill and O.Hill (1994), a Black/White couple, thought that if society approves interethnic marriages, there would be no problems for interethnic couples, and that it is always helpful for interethnic coupes to continuously enjoy the merits of their

differences as well as their similarities. Tartakov and Tartakov (1994), a Black/White couple, got married just because each of them was the one for each other, and their interest between each other was just the same as the interest between a man and a woman. They thought race was an issue for outsiders, not for insiders, and the

background differences were strength rather than weakness. They said, “Why did I ask her out? Because she looked so good to me. Why did I get to know her so well?

Because our values were so complementary. And why did I want to marry her? Because, to me, she was so fine. Race? It wasn’t an issue for us.”. Asuni and Asuni (1994), an African/American couple, said, “what may be the weakness/constraints of our mixed marriage can also be the strength/advantages, depending on how one looks at it……if I had married someone from my background, my perspective of life would have been very limited, and I would not have developed the capacity to be flexible and

understanding of other cultures”. They thought it would be boring to anticipate the things that they had already known very well if they were married to a person from the same ethnic background.

Johnson and Johnson (1994), a Black/White couple, thought cultural differences did not relate to successful/unsuccessful marriages, but the differences added

excitement to marriages. They thought the most difficult thing in their marriage was to deal with their different culturally expected roles, but they have found ways to

successfully shape into each other’s role expectations. Davenport and Davenport- Zanolli (1994), a Black/White couple, did not consider the society’s attitude towards them, and their ethnic difference had never been an issue for them, instead they thought their ethnic difference had made their mind more open and helped them always ready to change towards each other. They thought a good characteristic for a successful

interethnic marriage was “being open and receptive for each other’s different

experiences and really wanting to learn from each other” (p. 261). Warren and Warren (1994) made the comment on interethnic marriage: “the spouses must deal with a wider

70

array of issues, but that provides opportunities for increased human growth and

understanding and that may make it all worthwhile” (p. 280). According to Johnson and Warren (1994), the difficulty of interethnic marriages was not cultural difference or ethnic difference as what outsiders assumed, but the “differences which exist between any two human beings trying to live together”. Gaines and Ickes (1997) also pointed out that people decided to marry each other because of love and the orientations towards long-term relationships regardless of interethnic or intraethnic relationships.

As we can see from the insiders’ views, they have a complete different view and they tended to view what were seen as weakness by outsiders as strength. Although people in interethnic relationships love each other just as people in intraethnic relationships do, cultural differences do seem to exist in interethnic couples.

What are the differences between insiders’ and outsiders’ views? Johnson and Warren (1994) pointed out that outsiders tended to view interethnic marriages as “intergroup relations, social control and social dominance”, but insiders tended to think interethnic marriages were the same as and not more or less than other marriages. Gaines and Ickes (1997) pointed out that outsiders tended to have fixed views of interethnic relationships, such as full of problems and less stable, regardless of how similar cultural values interethnic couples may have; whereas insiders tended to view interethnic relationships more exciting, sharing more similarities, and more similar to intraethnic relationships.

Why is the difference between insiders and outsiders’ view? Rose (1992) gave an explanation: superficial interethnic contacts would have more possibility of stereotype, would focus on physical characteristics, language, and other superficial things instead of deeper information, and people would be grouped by these superficial characteristics; whereas people in intimate interethnic relationships would have more information of each other, would have less stereotype, and would not group people by superficial characteristics.

There were few studies looked closely at insiders’ and outsiders’ view of

interethnic relationships. Malhi (2009) interviewed interethnic relationship insiders and outsiders in Canada and found that the 38 university student outsiders tended to think interethnic relationships were more complicated and have more conflicts than positive characteristics, such as interethnic couples were more open-minded and have stronger relationships. Specifically, the following themes were expressed by the outsiders: interethnic couples’ different physical appearance would imply different values, society

71

generally had negative attitude towards interethnic relationships, difficult for interethnic couples to get social support, and interethnic relationships tended to have more

problems (ibid). Malhi (2009) suggested that the outsiders might approve interethnic relationships publicly but disapprove privately. Her interviews of 11 White/non-White interethnic married couples (insiders), in which most of the non-White partners (82%) were immigrants with more than 10 years of residence in Canada, revealed the

similarities instead of differences between partners in interethnic relationships, and that it was the society viewing them as different made them feel differently according to an insider. According to these insiders, although interethnic couples in Canada were more tolerated than in the United States, Germany, or Poland, they were still affected

significantly by the negative reactions from the society and racism in the society was displayed in an indirect way. Malhi (2009) suggested that the ethnic difference between partners in interethnic relationships might not be relevant at all within the couples privately, but might become very obvious in the public. The insiders in this study were mostly White/Black couples (73%), and they were living in a city without much diverse ethnicity (ibid). The views of the outsiders in this study were obviously problematic. For example, does physical difference relate to value difference? For insiders in this study, it is possible that the negative reactions from the society experienced by non- White partners may be the inaccurate interpretation according to the non-White partners’ worldview and personalities.

Another study included insiders and outsiders views was Tseliou’s (2003) interviews on Greek/British, Greek intraethnic, and British intraethnic couples. The study revealed that people in intraethnic relationships treated the difference in an interethnic relationship as huge, and bringing more conflict and problems, but people in interethnic relationships treated their difference as exiting and enriching.

In Summary, insiders tend to see the strength and similarity regardless of ethnic differences, but outsiders tend to see the obvious ethnic differences and ignore the underlining similarities between partners in interethnic relationships. Interethnic couples need to negotiate the difference between insiders’ and outsiders’ view although it is not easy, as the outsiders can be their family members and friends whose opinion may be needed sometimes (Gaines & Ickes, 1997).

72