MICROBIOLOGÍA GENERAL PROFESORES:

4.5.1.1 POSITIVE ATTITUDE

The young people participating in this study displayed a positive outlook on life and a determination to survive, despite their circumstances. This facilitated a move towards findings effective ways of managing the challenges with which they were confronted. The following statements emerged from the narratives of young people in youth- headed families:

I like to focus on the positives and focusing on the future than the past. I have learned that I am able to overcome things and even though I do not like to focus on the past, I do not give up easily. I am confident of myself that when things go wrong, I just keep on trying. When I fail, I take failure as an event. It does not mean the end of my life. I don‘t take myself as a failure. I do not let

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that define me. It also does not mean I will always fail. I realise that the things that happened in my life have shaped me to be a better and a strong person. When I looked back to the past 15 years as I was doing this exercise, I thought to myself: Who would have known that things will work out and that I will be sitting here today, in my room at Varsity, doing my third year? [Lindy]

I want people to look at us and see that we have come far and the people must tell their children that we are a positive influence; we are grown up and we have survived difficulties, so that they must learn from us. I want to be hero and make history in my life, I want people to say that they have seen me suffer for long, but look at me now; I‘ve achieved stuff in my life. I think that I am a hero; there are many people that believe in me. [Lwazi]

I think one of the reasons I am able to cope with challenges is because I get excited about life and what is to come. When something bad happens, I want to know how the story ends. I want to see a positive ending to my story. I want to write my story the way I want it to end. I also do what I think is best for me. Sometimes people drink when confronted by problems, because they do not have hope. They think they will not survive their situation. They do not know that they can make it work. You need to have hope. You need to believe in yourself and know that you can cope with the situation. [Nandi]

4.5.1.2 OPENNESS TO LEARNING/BEING TEACHABLE

Some of the young people were able to reflect and learn from their experiences. These learnings strengthened their belief in their own ability to cope with future challenges.

I learn each and every day and I need to adapt to certain things every day... [Bonga]

The ability to do self-reflection was also identified in the narratives of the young people in this study:

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I have learned that I should give her more credit and more respect and I should also learn to let go of things that are not working out. That I should let her deal with her own issues, as she always asks, and trust her more and be more like a bigger sister to her than a mother. Even when she fails a test, I always wish I was the one who wrote it. I don‘t allow her to make her own mistakes, and I am too strict. Listening to her now, I think I should trust more in her coping abilities, because I cannot always be there for her. I can see that she is more resilient. There are more lows in her lifeline than mine, but she is still here and being strong, because she was able to move on. Another person her age would not be able to cope with all that she has been through, but she has coped well.

The ability to undertake self-reflection has brought about more understanding and greater tolerance among the siblings. In some cases, it has also led to personal growth.

My experiences have shaped me to be the kind of a person that I am today. I have grown a lot from my challenges, and I am proud of what I have achieved. I am now able to encourage others who are going through painful experiences by using my own pain. [Lwazi]

Sometimes I think about what my siblings say about me being strict, then I try to keep an open mind. [Lindy]

Boyden and Mann (2005:7) assert that the capacity to engage in critical thinking can also help to shield a child from simplistic interpretations of experiences, which is self- defeating.

Some of the young people had joined community, cultural and church activities, and these structures were able to buffer the effects of the stresses experienced and provided opportunities for socialisation and learning experiences, in the sense that through participation in these activities, and with guidance from more skilled peers and adults, they were able to learn to think and develop new skills and more mature

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approaches to problem solving. Participating in these activities also provided a sense of belonging and experiencing a caring environment, which facilitated the adaptation of these young people.

Some of the young people volunteered in social work/youth development initiatives. Even though the intention was to learn and develop as an individual, doing something that contributed to the development of other young people provided a sense of meaning and purpose. For some participants, NGO workers and their peers in similar situations had provided advice, encouragement and life skills training, as well as material support.

4.5.1.3 SENSE OF COMMITMENT/RESPONSIBILITY

The narratives from the young people heading their families revealed a deep sense of commitment to the success of their families. The commitment and responsibility towards their families shown by these young people served as a source of strength in times of difficulties. Some of the young people delayed pursuing their personal goals in an effort to ensure the survival and well-being of their siblings.

If I were to get married now, it would not be the right time, because I have this thing that when the right time comes for me to get married, I would have to move out of the house and leave my sisters here at home. I would not want to take somebody and let them live here at home, because I have seen bad things that have happened to people where a husband had to choose between his family and his wife. I have postponed this so that Anelisa and Thabisa can at least finish high school and perhaps be at tertiary.

4.5.1.4 PERSEVERANCE/DETERMINATION

Perseverance and determination was evident in the contents of the narratives of young people heading their families. In the face of the hardships experienced, there was a sense that the success of the family depended on the strength and determination of its oldest member:

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I could have chosen to be someone who is irresponsible and not take on the responsibility and be selfish and only focus on my own needs or else be misled by friends or other people who would be negative, but I sat down and thought about it and told God that this is the way things are, and I also don‘t know what to do, because I had never imagined myself to be in such a situation, but You have placed me here, so I believe that You have a plan. So that to me shows me that I am making a decision: through thick and thin I will stick by my family and will strive to be a person that is responsible, because I believe that running away from responsibilities and things that you can‘t run away from, you just need to face them, because it might happen that God is teaching you something out of your situation. In other words, there is a lesson that must be learnt. I told myself that this is the way things are, and I am not going to run away: it is my responsibility and I need to give it a chance. At first, there were times that my own family wanted to divide us, but even then I said that I need to be given a chance and if there is anything, then I will come back to them, and then maybe we could see how we could work things out. I strongly believe in people that are responsible and that are not ignorant, because I don‘t believe that it will take you anywhere if you do not take responsibility and don‘t care.