Modelo de persistencia

Body language is an important part of attracting women, no matter if you’re getting them to approach you or meeting her for the third time. Use the right body language and she will be attracted, use the wrong kind and she will be turned off.

Sales trainers and other “attraction experts” have long made a big deal about something called “matching and mirroring.” Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe not. I’ll give you a brief recap.

Matching and mirroring is a way of physically getting in rapport with a person by covertly mimicking their body language and gestures. If they lean forward, you lean forward. If they cross their legs, you cross your legs. They “like you” because you are

“like them.”

Is their any truth to this? I’m not sure, but here’s my opinion. I’ve never had any luck matching and mirroring a person (it takes me too much time to think about it), but I’ve had several friends that have. The only way for you to find out is to do it for yourself.

Now, I have had good luck simply by leaning forward (closer in) when they are talking about a subject they are passionate about, and by leaning away when they talk about a negative subject.

This is really a form of what psychologists call “anchoring” and it’s worked pretty well for me. What tends to happen is, after a few times of leaning in, when I lean in again, they’ll follow and get closer to me. Why? Because I’ve associated my leaning in with a positive experience (good feelings) on their part, so when I lean towards them, they instantly feel good… and move closer to me to feel even better.

When you notice a woman subconsciously following your lead and mimicking your body language, that’s a great sign she’s attracted to you. When you’re in front of a crowd and they start leaning towards you to hear what you’re going to say next, then they’re attracted to you.

The opposite is true as well… if they are leaning back, and not following your lead, then they usually are not in rapport with you. And remember this: attraction follows rapport.

If you can’t gain rapport, you won’t gain attraction (rapport is gained by using the

times, then steer the conversation back towards what they’re passionate about. Lean in, and watch what happens. (A great way to steer the conversation back is to say, “Getting back to what we were talking about a few minutes ago, tell me more about <<passionate subject>>. I’m curious.”)

Another form of body language that works very well is correctly touching another person. Any real salesman knows that your closing rate is higher when you come in physical contact with the person you’re selling to.

The same thing applies to attracting women as well. If you unobtrusively touch her, she’ll like you more. When she starts touching you back the same way you touched her, you know she’s attracted. Women do not touch men they are not attracted to.

Woman after woman has told me this and my experience has borne it out.

I’ve always had great luck using the back of my hand or the tips of my fingers to gently (and briefly) touch a woman’s forearm, especially when she starts laughing at what I just said. Again, psychologists would call this “anchoring.”

“Anchoring” is a way to get someone to re-experience a particular emotion by introducing a touch, an object, a smell, or sound associated with that emotion.

Here’s an example: have you ever been in your car, and a song comes on the radio that was really popular 10 years ago… and then all the memories and emotions associated with that song just come rushing back? That’s called an “anchor”… the song was an “anchor” to the emotions you were experiencing at the time, and when you heard the song, you re-experienced all the emotions.

Well, if you want someone to think you’re funny and attractive, lightly touch them at the peak of their laughter (or good feelings), in the same place, every time they laugh (or feel good). This will set an anchor, and if you touch them in that same place whenever you see them, they will re-experience all the good feelings they had when you first made them laugh. Mysteriously they will think you are funny and attractive…

without you even saying a word!

Anchoring works very, very well during coffee meetings. When she starts talking about something she’s passionate about, and I can tell she’s re-living the experience, I touch her lightly, usually on the shoulder or wrist, whichever is closest. All I do is touch her and say, “It sounds like you’re pretty passionate about what you just described. This makes you feel pretty good, huh?”

Whenever she starts telling me about what attracts her to a guy, I touch her in the same place. Whenever she tells me her “racy story” I touch her in the same place. This

“sets” a “good feeling anchor” and whenever I want her to feel good I just touch her again in the same place, and “fire” off the anchor. This puts her back into the “good feeling” state which she associates with me. She doesn’t have any idea that I’m “firing an

anchor.” All she knows is that when she’s around me she feels, passionate, excited and turned on… the way she would feel around any guy she has a strong attraction to.

When we get up to leave from our coffee meeting I always “fire off” the anchor, and I always fire it off right before I kiss her. So… when I kiss her, she’s feeling excited and turned on… they way a woman is supposed to feel when you kiss her. When she feels this way, it’s a mental validation of her attraction to you. The physical act is congruent with the internal feelings.

A quick word about touching: it is vitally important you touch her in a light, unobtrusive way, at least at first. Gently and briefly touching her forearm with the back of your hand is OK. Grabbing her inner thigh and holding on is incredibly obtrusive and will cause her to instantly dislike you. The key to creating attraction via touch is light, unobtrusive, and at the moment they are feeling good.

Here’s a summary of attractive body language:

1. See if “matching and mirroring” works for you

2. Lean in towards the woman you are speaking to when she laughs or feel good

3. Lightly and unobtrusively touch her with the back of your hand to set an anchor when she is experiencing a positive emotional state, like laughter, excitement, passion, or lust

4. Whenever you see her, “fire off” the anchor to bring back the good feelings of the previous conversation. Soon enough she’ll associate feeling good with being with you… which is really what attraction is all about!

Chapter 6

Other Quick and Easy