Everything in this chapter deals with advanced workplace dating, which basically means bending and breaking the normal rules of workplace dating
Upon reading the Guide, the reader may endeavor to tailor his game to target a specific woman, while considering factors such as her position and status, the type of work environment and social climate for the courtship.
The purpose of the Guide is to assist you with successfully closing women at work, while preserving your reputation and your job.
After applying the principles, the reader may deviate from certain principles as a means of testing boundaries in the workplace. So since this is a "basic" Guide to workplace dating, consider it a safe road to take if things aren't working out as planned.
because these are advanced tips, it stands to reason that some of the general guidelines previously mentioned in this Guide must be deviated from in order to test boundaries and embark on an adventure into uncharted territory.
Taking this path has its rewards. You can become a pioneer in workplace dating by sharing your experiences with other men, and giving them the faith that ANYTHING is possible.
You must be willing to break any social rules.
As opposed to supplying many concrete examples of what to say to a woman, many of the ideas herein will be presented as concepts. Because there are so many directions and methods you can employ to attract women, it would take a greater work to go into fine detail as to what to say or do with a woman in any given situation, therefore I will supply only the foundations, which, when applied at the appropriate moment, will work with ANY woman in ANY situation. Such concepts also serve the purpose of understanding how you ought to proceed with advanced workplace dating at a deeper level. Those who are ready for it will intuitively know what they must do given their particular work environment, and given their particular target.
FOUNDATIONS
Right from the start it’s vital to know that the foundation for successful advanced workplace dating is optimism. Not how you dress, not the words you say, not the
connections you have. It’s all about your inner frame. You are advised to re-read Chapter 2 on being optimistic and tailor you visualizations and affirmations to fit your situation and goals.
You should be Cool, Calm and Connected, while exhibiting behaviors of Leadership, Pre-selection and Non-neediness.
If you have solid optimism about the woman you're interested in, you can actually break some rules and still get the girl.
I advise that you allow these women to initiate strong interest in you before closing them. The easiest way to do this is to continue to think optimistically about them without
attempting to "do" anything to escalate the courtship. This may take weeks or months, but this is all for the purpose of not jeopardizing your job. Let these women make their interests known to you first without you having to show them any overt interest.
You must believe that you are a natural seducer. You must believe that you can have ANY woman you desire, and you must believe that women absolutely adore you. You must honestly believe that you are God's Gift to women. And you would be right in such a belief. After all, are not women Gifts from God to you?
You must have absolutely NO FEAR of getting a harassment complaint. It just doesn't happen to you, because you are loved and approved by all women.
There are NO pitfalls in your reality.
You must talk and interact with her as if she is already yours. Do not be intimidated by her position or her confident appearance.
No matter how much older she is than you, or how much more money she makes, or how much more experienced she appears, or how high up she is in the company, she is still a natural woman at her core, and can therefore be seduced by you. Read that sentence again. Understand clearly: There is absolutely NO woman on earth who is "out of your league." The very fact that you are Man, and she is Woman, is more than enough to show that you two are very well qualified for each other.
Don't get distracted by company politics.
The workplace is your playground. Ignore the sexual harassment flyers posted on company walls. They do NOT apply to you. They are there merely to keep the fearful at bay, giving you easy passage into the lives of women at work.
You want to have good Social Intuition, and the ability to read a woman's body language exceptionally well.
You want to have patience. You are in no rush to close her. When the time is right you will make your move, or you may choose to allow her to close you. Either way, there is no hurry, even if your efforts take months. You realize that the longer spend time with her, the deeper the emotional connection you create. It is very possible for a female co- worker to fall in love with you before you go on your first date.
Sometimes this means approaching several times over the course of a few months. A woman wants to feel desired and appreciated. Your compliments and statements of interest should be infrequent so as to not appear like you're fawning over her, but
consistent so that she feel that you genuinely care about her. You want to acknowledge to her that you're considerate of the things that mean most to her.
BE THE BADBOY
If all the other men are wearing shirts and ties, show up to work in jeans and tennis shows. Don't always follow the status quo. Differentiate yourself from the herd. Women are immensely attracted to men who break the rules and don't give a damn what others think.
Remember, the juiciest gossip has always been who's fucking who. The workplace is no exception. Therefore, be the gossip.
Once word gets around about your badboy behavior, you'll notice a shift in behavior in women from your workplace. You'll find that many of the freakiest women will make themselves known to you, and giving you strong interest right off the bat. Even the prudish types who express dissent in your behavior will be interested in you. Remember, many of these women put up a Goody Two Shoes image in order to maintain their social reputation in the workplace, but they are excited by a man who brings sexual energy into the workplace.
So if you really want to attract the greatest number of women in the shortest amount of time, then don't strive to be employee of the month. Be the guy moms warn their daughters about. Be the badboy.
Also, know that there are many women who are open and receptive to the things that would normally be considered a pitfall.
Although many elements contained within the Guide are written in the light of caution, it is possible to make your interactions more direct and a little more sexualized and still receive a positive response. And not all women at work are feminists who hate men. Some are there to advance themselves and make money, but they don't take things too seriously and simply want to enjoy life and looking forward to some adventure. So yes, it
is possible for you to send an occasional tangible gift and her heart melts. And yes, you can plow through what resistance she's showing and get a positive response. And yes, instead of waiting for her to escalate, you can escalate by asking for her number or
suggesting that you two go out for lunch, a drink, or a party. Your chances of success will depend on 2 factors: 1, how much attraction and comfort you've built with her in the workplace, and 2, her life circumstances relative to her being ready for a relationship. Generally speaking, the stronger the chemistry between you two, the more direct you can be, and the higher your success rate to win her.
> Maybe you want to attract a VP of the company, or even the HR administrator. Maybe you want to attract "that one girl"
> You can go direct. Special Holidays
> Find out when is her birthday, and be the first person at work to wish her Happy Birthday. You may be the ONLY man at work that does this for her.
> Valentine's Day. Wait until a day or two before Valentine's Day before attempting to close her. This allows adequate time for her to sense that Valentines is approaching and she still doesn't have a man, and she feels envious of her female co-workers who have already received flowers and candies from their significant others. When you're ready to close her, ask her what are her plans for Valentine's. If she's attracted to you or otherwise open to dating at the moment, she should mention that she doesn't have any plans or she doesn't have a boyfriend. From there, structure a direct close. If she accepts your close, show your appreciation by getting her some flowers or candy on Valentines Day. Surprisingly some women don't like Valentine's day due to bad experiences. She should be someone your are acquainted with and not a complete stranger to.
> 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Get into conversation about the upcoming holiday and ask her what are her plans, if she says she has nothing going on, ask if she'd be interested in spending time with you for the holiday.
> Another option is to cause her to have deep levels of attraction towards you without closing her. Don't structure any closing opportunities at all. Seduce her into closing you for a date, then take it a step further by neither accepting nor declining her offer. Cause her to fall in love with you all on company property.
> Attempt to have sex on company property.
> Ignore that she isn't contributing as much to the courtship. As long as she isn’t' giving you blatant signals that she's not comfortable with you, continue approaching, calling and giving her attention. This WILL have a positive effect on her.
> You can also attempt bold things like target married women, or women in positions that are senior to yours, women who hold high positions of influence within the company, or even your own female supervisor.
==
Types of women: > married women
> women who are your superiors > women who are your subordinates > women who have rudely rejected you > women who view you only as a friend WOMEN IN POSITIONS OF POWER
Older women who work in prestigious positions such as senior managers, VPs, and even HR administrators are very discreet, and will not jeopardize their reputation or career by being overt with their interest in you. With these women, you may not get any of the Big 3 interest indicators, but they still CAN be attracted to you. I recommend you approach them once every few weeks, and get into conversations about Hopes and Dreams, or Dating and Relationships.
> Many independent women live by the mantra of "Never depend on a man for
anything." The may have been told this by their mothers who had bad relationships with men, dated unreliable men, or had experiences with less than model father figures. > These types of women will be adverse to workplace romances, but if you have an profound effect on their emotions, they will at least contemplate taking a chance with you. In my experience, the best way to break down this barrier is to get into a
conversation about Dating and Relationships, and communicate how it's important that one finds someone who doesn't kiss and tell, and are non-judgmental.
> A career woman who is independent doesn't want to be a dominate bitch all day long. She wants a dominant man who can care for her and allow her to let go of her dominance and responsibility. She wants to let go and be the feminine, sexy woman on your arm out to dinner. Ask her: "Have you ever felt like coming home where you want to just, let go of all your responsibilities and being in control all the time. Where someone else could take you by the hand and say "Relax. I'll take care of things for awhile."
> Remember, she is still a natural woman at her core, so no matter how "independent" or "controlling" she appears to be, there is still a part of her deep down that desires to have a real man in her life. You can be her man.
> You must look beyond her job title, her college degree, her salary, her level of power and influence within the company, and see that she is still a woman who has a need for genuine attention, and to be tenderly cared for.
> The key to seducing these women is to..(See 'The Lonely Leader' type in The Art of Seduction).... Because she is so used to being independent and in control, that she won't give it up so easily.
> Anticipate that such courtships may last for weeks or months before it leads to a romantic affair.
==
> She told herself to avoid workplace romances. She's heard the horror stories. But she can't help herself. She feels so drawn to you. She's falling under your spell, and she's loving it.
It is possible to turn her professional or platonic interest into a romantic one. Simply be Cool, Calm, and Non-needy, and show her some attention. Again, you may be the ONLY man that is currently showing her any significant attention, and she can't help but be moved by this.
Meet her emotional needs met first, before her sexual needs. These emotional needs include feeling appreciated, understood, important, desired, and beautiful.
When having conversations about Hopes and Dreams, or Dating and Relationships, she will usually mention some need or obstacle that prohibits her from being happy. You should attempt to be the man who meets her needs or at least talk about what it would be like to have those needs fulfilled.
It is possible to turn a Friendly Manipulator into a romantic interest.
Just keep in mind that these actions do have higher risks of reducing comfort levels, generating harassment complaints and possibly loss of employment. Therefore, before consciously applying any of the principles of advanced workplace dating, you should at least have other employment opportunities available or at least enough money to sustain your financial responsibilities for a few months until you're able to find new employment should something go wrong.
These gestures usually work with women who are single and lonely (or committed and adventurous), but you should calibrate this by your brief conversations together, but even then, be aware that some women have had bad experiences with men in the past, and certain things you say or do can cause her to wonder if this will lead to another bad experience, thus reducing her comfort levels. Limit any non-work related interaction to oral dialog only. This means no sending non-work related emails using the company email system. No non-work related phone messages using the company phone system, and no tangible gifts such as letters, cards, candies or other objects. No tangibles.
You can create the idea of you two together by saying things like, "I wonder if you're this <cool, friendly, etc> outside of work." Or "Are you this <cool, friendly, etc> outside of work?" Whatever her response, you can say "Well, I'd like to see that for myself."
And in many cases, their discomfort stems from the fact that many tangible forms of affection are vague in their intentions. The question in their head is, "What do you want from me in return for giving me this?" Without any clear intent such as a request for a date she can feel uncomfortable.
The only exception to the "No tangibles" guideline is company email or instant messages where she leads, you follow. This means if her messages are casual in nature, then you respond casually. However, if she's a little more suggestive or flirting, then you can reply in kind, but only with the same level of intensity as her message. Some email and IM flirting is fine and actually helps in closing her successfully. However, you are advised never to initiate any suggestive or flirtatious messages before she does, never attempt to close her directly via these mediums, and make sure you save the message. This way if things go wrong and she attempts to use the correspondence against you in a harassment complaint, then it will show that she contributed to (or even initiated) the interaction. If you do a non-work related thing, one of the best ways to avoid a harassment complaint is to follow-up your very first gesture with, "Did what I said or did make you feel
uncomfortable? If so, I'll stop and it'll never happen again." If she thought it was okay, then follow-up with, "And if there is ever a time I say or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, please let me know and I will stop immediately." Also, if you give her any tangible forms of affection, and she does NOT respond to you, this is a red flag that what you are doing is NOT welcomed. You may call yourself being indirect and
charming, but if you do not hear any response from her within a day or two, you MUST contact her and apologize. "I was just calling to say that I'm so sorry if what I did made you uncomfortable. It will never happen again." Then remove her from your target list and move on.
You don't want to be her platonic friend. Instead you want to be her confidante.
Remember, guys in the friend's zone will make themselves too available, do lots of nice things for her, and fawn over her. You will do NONE of these things. Your role as confidante is to be the man who helps talk her through her problems, hopes and dreams. Listen to her as she expresses herself and respond in a way that let's her know you