MODIFICACIONES EN LAS COTIZACIONES SOCIALES

David: Ok, I’d start with the welcomed method. She may ask you, after she has

a great time, “Hey, by the way, where’d you learn that?”

“Oh, a friend at work told me.” Don’t say you saw it on the internet. Say a friend at work told you.

“Oh man, my wife loves this. You’ve got to try this on your wife.” So do the welcomed method.

Caller: Actually another question I would have is just a general opinion on my

voice in terms of what work I could do there as well.

David: You seem to be doing fine. Caller: Ok, thank you.

David: You know what, your wife is used to your voice. Your voice works for

your wife. Do work on the various tonalities in the bedroom. Do you get into dirty talk in the bedroom?

Caller: Not really, not really, so maybe that’s one of the first little things I can

start on.

David: Yeah, slow but sure, a little bit at a time. If you do not talk dirty to your

woman, you are depriving her of the full potential of her sexuality. Absolutely get it to that point.

Now it may be too late for you. I mean there’s a very very small percentage of women who will not respond to dirty talk for various reasons. Dirty talk will not work on them. It’s extremely rare, but if your wife is that way that’s unfortunate.

Caller: What if it’s more with me feeling embarrassed?

David: Well, that’s usually why men do not talk dirty because they feel

embarrassed. That can mean a number of things. It could mean you’re not comfortable with your sexuality or you’re not comfortable with her sexuality or you’re not comfortable with sexuality getting ruthlessly expressive.

If you want her to do wild taboo things with you, you have to get her to be ruthlessly expressive. To get there, one of the things you have to do, and probably the most powerful thing you can do, is talk dirty to her.

You have to understand that in the context of heightened sexual arousal in the bedroom, everything you say is taken in a different context. It’s ok to call her your slut. You can’t do that in the living room.

Now, you’ve got an additional problem. You’ve been married for many years, and I’m happy to hear of a happy marriage, a successful marriage, and I’m happy to hear that you’re learning how to make it even better. That’s great. That’s what you want to do.

But, because you’ve been married to her for so long and you haven’t talked dirty, it is going to be a change and she’s going to wonder. So you’re going to have to do it very slowly, very easily. But to release her full potential, you’re going to have to talk dirty.

Caller: Alright, thank you. David: Thank you, Randy.

Grant: Alright, we’re going to let someone else in.

Caller: David, I’ve read a couple of your books, including your Masterful Lover.

Everything is fantastic.

David: Thank you. What is your name and where are you from? Caller: I’m Scott from Daytona Beach, Florida.

David: Hi, Scott in Daytona.

Caller: What I wonder with talking dirty, it seems as though like anything else

with a woman that you need to be able to calibrate and sort of work off what turns her on.

Do you have any suggestions for getting an idea of the kind of dirty talk that would work with her, or do you just sort of do a trial and error? Is it one of those things like anything else you should just start off mild and then get more intense as it goes on over time?

David: Yeah, you do trial and error by starting very slowly. You do trial and

error by starting very slowly and easily.

Caller: What’s an example of you might use a generic starting point for when

you start off mild? Is there something that probably would be like a safer level when you’re just getting the feel for it?

David: Ok, here’s something. Consider a graph. When a woman is naked in

bed, her level of arousal let’s say is the bottom of the graph. When there’s continued stimulation, that graph goes up and up and up until she has an

orgasm. Now look along that graph. That’s how you can gauge your dirty talk. As that graph goes up you can get dirtier.

Now if it’s a woman you’re not familiar with you can use trial and error, especially if you don’t have experience doing dirty talk. Trial and error. You start out easily. Certainly you don’t do this on a first date, ok? This is later in the relationship. That’s another important thing. Don’t try to do all this stuff on a first date, it’ll back fire.

Again, you take it a step at a time. With each time you end up going in the bedroom and having sex, you get a little raunchier. But start out easy and you work your way up.

Now really easy is, “Oh yeah, baby, it feels good when I do this, doesn’t it?” and you work your way up. So you start by that, and that’s a really good exercise. Say what you know she’s feeling and you get her to answer, “Yes.”

Another thing, definitely leverage the concept of naughty. It’s extremely exciting for most women to do something that is naughty. When you put it in the context of naughty, that makes it exciting.

One thing you can do is when you’re both naked in the bedroom and you’re masturbating her, you can have her recall a time when she was masturbating. Like “I know last night you rubbed this and this felt really good. Oh yeah, that feels really good, doesn’t it?” and she’ll go along with it and she’ll remember her masturbating last night.

As she gets really aroused, you say “Yeah, you were being really naughty and you were masturbating. Oh yeah” – yada yada, on and on.

That’s an example of starting off easy with dirty talk.

Another thing is sometimes they’ll tell you. The girl that I was dating in college told me, “Every time we do it doggie style, I don’t know why but you know I love horses. Well, every time we do it doggie style I don’t know why but I imagine like we’re horses and we’re doing it.”

Ok, so internally she was being animalistic. What she was doing was imagining that she was a horse. So what I did is I leveraged that. Hey, leverage what they give you, right? Use it on them.

So while we were doing it doggie style, she’d become very aroused and I’d say, “Yeah, you feel like a horse, you’re doing it like an animal,” and she started making horse noises. But you know what, she got off, man. She had a mind- blowing orgasm.

So the next time, I said “Oh yeah, you love being a horse. Yeah, whinny like a horse.” They whinny, right? So anyway she started whinnying like a horse and she had a powerful orgasm.

My ex-girlfriend is another example. She was dating one guy who was a real wimp. A real nice guy, a great guy, but uncomfortable in the bedroom talking dirty but she’s a highly sexual creature.

They were doing it doggie style and she wanted him to talk dirty. So she said to him, “Oh yeah, fuck your bitch.” He stopped and said, “You’re not a bitch.” She said that was a real boner killer for her. She never called him again.

So sometimes they’ll tell you, they’ll tell you what to say.

Caller: Alright, thank you.

Grant: So you say leverage what they tell you, and you also talk about

leveraging taboo.

David: Yeah, right, leverage taboo. Leverage naughty, leverage taboo, anything

that is taboo and you get her to do, make it naughty.

A mutual friend of ours once said that the way to become closer to your woman is through shared taboos. That’s so very very true.

To open up her sexuality, what you do is to get her to do taboo things, things that possibly she had never done, but most assuredly she had fantasized about. Well, there’s going to be some things she hadn’t fantasized about, but once you have her do it and she loves it….

So anything taboo, get her to do it, as long as it’s legal and consensual. It’s very powerful.

Grant: The first stage is to…what you said is very

cool. You talked about sharing taboo, sharing intimacies and telling secrets is a very basic human way of establishing trust.

That’s why we tell each other secrets. It’s a very subconscious way of allowing us to have

interaction.

It’s a deep psychology, but in this context do you have any specific

recommendations on how to get to that conversation? Again, a lot of guys feel a little uncomfortable.

David: To get to what conversation?

Grant: To have her share her taboo thoughts and fantasies.

David: Ok, now when I share taboos I’m saying do them together. If she’s never

had anal sex, do that. I describe in my book exactly how to do that such that she

“Anything taboo, get