Monitoreo y Evaluación incluyendo programación de Encuestas de satisfacción 1 Desarrollar indicadores para el adecuado Monitoreo y Evaluación de la

The responses to this section vary as seen with Elaine who bases the teachings of her kuia and kaumatua as being the key to successful relationships.

Elaine had been hard on herself and felt she had failed her womanhood because she couldn’t handle the hard times in her abusive relationship. She had made a comparison with her old aunty that had parented many tamariki, including her husbands’ nieces and nephews. When speaking to her aunt about men pushing women around the response from her aunt was that’s just part of a woman’s lot. Inferring that you take the good times with the bad and you get on with it:

“There was always that sense that maybe I hadn’t been strong enough to carry that, I should have been able to handle that and go back and actually be more of a woman then what I’d been”.

…” that first period of sole-hood I was being judged by some of those old kuia who I had a lot of respect for and maybe I was being judged by some of my old uncles. So there was that sense of not giving that child the full experience of man parented for better or for worse”.

“Occasionally getting hit on by uncles that want to look after you and couldn’t understand that you weren’t returning their affections. They think they are doing you a favour you know but you don’t want to go there”.

Jenn spoke openly about a lot of judgment and stereotyping in society about sole parents:

“The stigma that comes with it, I’m not really sure. All I know is there’s a huge amount of people that are parenting alone. You don’t want to choose that, who wants to parent alone, I certainly didn’t. It is just something that happened and you just get on with it”.

“I don’t think they (WINZ and those in society) have any idea of what it is like, what life is like without any money. And I suppose until you have been in those situations you can’t really say too much unless you have been there”.

Donna suffers from anxiety therefore was always hard on herself. She talked about there being no such thing as a perfect parent and that if you believe it then you set yourself up for failure. She wants the best for her child but does miss out on socially interacting with other adults therefore for Donna at this time there is limited opportunity to partake with others:

“Yeah, and I didn’t do him any favours, I suffered myself with anxiety…people would say “you should be grateful, you got what you always wanted, a child”. But that’s saying you think that people would want to hear. I am grateful, I try, I pray for him that he would be everything that his father is not. And everything I wasn’t as a kid and you want him to stand strong like I said before he is a beautiful natured kid just at times we clash and I think what is my problem…I am happy to be home but I am not mixing with adult company”.

Lena talked about the financial disadvantages to the point where she indicated that you do what you have to do and that this is your life and you work with what you have:

…it is always easier when two people are bringing home an income rather than one. It was sometimes hard to discipline a boy because he was a very strong willed boy and he still is. When you haven’t got the support of another parent or another adult really that’s right with you and there is only you continually saying no and growling and all of that it can be a bit hard and a bit tiring I think.

Although there were frustrations amongst the wāhine Māori they coped by utilising their

whānau support systems. Some, not all are able to overcome frustrations by moving forward with confidence and to trust in themselves although for some it has taken longer.. This has

played a major role in how the wāhine Māori viewed their future or in their abilities to succeed in parenting their child alone. There were other challenges they faced for example when

relationships failed and feeling guilty because of no male model in their children’s lives. This

though was overridden by the fact that they had freedom, they were able to teach their children

dwell on the past; they moved on for the sake of their children. One wāhine Māori summed it

up by saying you do what you have to do.