CAPÍTULO II AGUAS SUBTERRÁNEAS
DE LAS OBRAS VINCULADAS CON LAS AGUAS
the master is not the body confined in his bedroom the master is the pure witness
floating free of form watching our every single step the master is the witness
the one eyed seer
his disciples are a living experiment he sees all and knows all
i was aware of his secret his floating witnessing presence
carrying him above me silently like a flame of awareness
vertically conscious in my walking or sitting and in every gesture allowing his divine presence to grip me more deeply
i was a hollow bamboo
bhagwan was watching silently
surprised at all the actions against me from his closest disciples they had never been tested against a mirror of an ordinary disciple for bhagwan they all wore a special mask
for me there was no mask
i was just that slow walking idiot rajneesh
not even considered as being human…just an animal he was beginning to see their true faces
knowing what i knew
i was heartbroken for what bhagwan was seeing i could absorb their inhumanity towards me
but bhagwan had worked deeply and lovingly on them for twenty years it was a defeat for him…his work had failed…his people had failed him perhaps he was too optimistic and soft on his people
the american government did less harm to him than his own people he could see that if he was to come back
they would destroy him and actually ban him from this buddhafield announcement in buddha hall 18 august
came as a surprise to many but not to me
that bhagwan says…few have understood my words the meditation camps intensify
bhagwan begins to appear for silent thunderbolt appearances i am still being watched by the management
i live alone and am in no relationships
and come only at 2.0 pm…exactly the same routine
of sitting and then walking for one hour behind buddha grove then sitting outside for evening taped discourse
my habit to deeply sit for twenty nine days and then see bhagwan for that special one day during the full moon
continued although bhagwan stopped appearing i am stubborn and fixed on certain inner matters
18
i continued sitting outside near the pyramid for the evenings and was called in saying that the pyramid was for therapists who worked with the crystals…and for giving esoteric readings that i was acting special by sitting in that prime location
and that i should be humble and drop my name rajneesh and stop people calling me rajneesh
anything to attack me so i laughed and said
i am a simple disciple with an obvious ego which i am trying to drop bhagwan was my master without any ego to drop
so the best would be if bhagwan dropped his name rajneesh and i personally had no objection to his dropping his name soon i was to hear that complaints were sent to bhagwan to change my name…many letters were sent to him against me so bhagwan simply smiled and said
yes change his name it is wrongly spelt rajnish change it to rajneesh ha le lu ya
as i was entering buddha hall for sunday sannyas celebration i hear it announced by zareen that bhagwan has said
rajneesh was the model sannyasin of the ashram and asked to come forward towards her
bhagwan mysteriously begins to change his name december 26 1988 not to be called bhagwan again december 2 1988 buddha
december 0 1988 shree rajneesh zorba the buddha january 1989 shree rajneesh
feburary 29 1989 osho rajneesh september 12 1989 osho
september 12 he sends another announcement you will be facing a totally new man
who will no longer be known as rajneesh but simply osho
it is a surprise koan for me
i knew i would soon be announced
perhaps this was his device to drop the name rajneesh anyway…whatever it was
my name rajneesh was no longer an issue to those concerned with my ego i was walking from bodhidharma…passing by lao tzu gate
in my usual way slowing down diving deep into my inner bow to bhagwan mukta is watering the garden near the gate
and seeing me walking slowly starts teasing me and begins to spray water towards me
anando and neelam and few of the lao tzu group of women sitting outside gossiping join in and start laughing at me the water showers wetting me and i have to move away
i am just a stupid joke to them…i am pretending to be enlightened i am in my deep inner bow and this makes me furious
just pure ugliness and bitchiness in their behaviour
that too disrespectfully in front of the gate of the greatest master on earth i cannot get their joke and look hard and angrily at them…moving on bhagwan deserves such great disciples
these are the ones to become his living flames of love and compassion what a farce this place is
189
i hear the next day bhagwan has asked
all the women to pack and to leave lao tzu house to me this was the point of departure
the strongest signal and clear message sent out by bhagwan i wonder who will look after him now
he is soft and compassionate
allows them to return to lao tzu a few days later i knew what was happening
something was looming large the signs were all around
the chuang tzu bedroom he had especially designed was not to be lived in by bhagwan
september 14 he opened the vipassana walkway for all i was met by a mystery school sannyasin
saying that i was to be the first to walk through the vipassana walkway i said that i would not ever dare to breath in the same space
where bhagwan lived…and refused the offer i was going deeper and deeper every night spending sleepless nights now
the kundalini was becoming active and asserting itself strongly i was losing my balance at those dizzying heights
sounds as of a vacuum were filling my right ear
pain was intense in my left shoulder blade and the right arm i was spending nights perspiring profusely
and did not want to see the light anymore just spend the days and nights in the room with the doubled curtains to create total darkness
i needed to remain in my dark room more and more
in pitch darkness as my eyes began to water seeing sunlight the ida was completely interlocked
the opening motion was in a downward spiral
every attempted opening in an upward motion blocked it further everything i did to open it was working against me
end of september autumn i daily used eucalyptus steams to help open my inner breath and activate the ida
and remained in the blackness of the room for the next two months it was beginning to get difficult to leave the room
the cooler air and eucalyptus steam was helping me to breathe always tired and sleepy
begin to sleep sixteen to eighteen hours
i was to enter the ashram only at nights for dinner
and dance in the bamboo grove waving my body in latihan
bhagwan asked for dance in buddha hall every night until 11.0 pm it was perfect timing for my nights and dinner
it was october and a new mystery when bhagwan asked for the commune to be painted black
every wall and every corner…was being painted black the black was perfect
acting as the womb for the being to expand
the ida feminine spiral was supported with the black the buddhafield began leaning to the left side receptive feminine
the creative womb deep and silent
again the buddhafield was to move into another tilt onto another vertical axis
the vortex was shifting
the black was bhagwans secret new phase and device all building signs were removed
it always plays with the mind which is empty
any person in samadhi would understand the deep hidden reasons in that empty state just a name like jesus grove
would resonate jesus grove jesus grove jesus grove until it found another name and would repeat it endlessly
191
someone was going to reach enlightenment soon
the implications of the black and the removal of all signs are just simple indicators
i knew them all
i had been drowned in the black hole before this was going to be far bigger
9 november 1989 bhagwan announces his silence is not religious
it is a protest
a protest against the hypocrites
and also those that hear but do not listen
just who were these people who hear but do not listen wonder wonder if you please
i always observed the behaviour of most women in the ashram each searching for the rich and powerful men
the most beautiful running to get the powerful men the powerful men seeking out these beautiful women their whole game is money and power
and beauty attracts
i always heard bhagwan speak on the domination of men over women that women have had no freedom
and have always been dominated by man for centuries this was an incomplete half understanding for me
living in these modern days i have experienced otherwise my understanding was
that man is seeking riches and power
just to enable him to attract the most beautiful women
and women exploited the rich and powerful men with their beauty this was a vicious circle…in a reverse direction
thus man is continuously chasing riches and power to satisfy women…and his weakness for beautiful women
i have never seen a beautiful woman running after
a poor sensitive man just because he is lovingly playing on his flute extremely rare if it were possible
it was clear to me that man is dominated by women poor man…he needs liberation from women
the whole ugly value structure of society to respect money and power can be reversed only if women decide to change their values
rule and conquer the world
man is an aggressive animal seeking out his hunt
in the eyes of women the soft and sensitive man is a loser in bhagwans entire twenty years of speaking
this angle was never looked into
i felt that bhagwan is a simple man from a small village in jabalpur and he is extremely chivalrous and respectful towards women all his life and looked at this complex development of man women domination from that simple perspective…pure innocence
bhagwan could hear my understanding
was overjoyed to see a new clarity in front of him his vision on man women domination came full circle i was earning my wings
2 november 1989
bhagwan creates the mens liberation movement 28 november 1989
for the very first time in his life…he suddenly visits the multiversity slowly looking at each group and therapy poster
and surprisingly states
there should be no more long therapies
there were usually courses of one to two to three months long now they should only be kept light and fun and for three days and that he has given compulsory reading of his books before joining any group
19
what was this sudden change and departure was bhagwan becoming serious
about those who chose to hear and not listen and went further to state
those who cling to my words miss me the lion was roaring and he was on the prowl