Codificación estadística de las transacciones entre residentes y no residentes
XX.XX. 00 Operaciones de importación y exportación de mercancías con traspaso de propiedad
00. Otras operaciones relacionadas con mercancías
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.
What we want to do as believers is learn how to live our lives as He would live our life if He would live our lives if He were in our shoes. For this to take place every aspect of a person’s life must be transformed.
We want to think what Jesus would think. Believe what Jesus would believe.
Do what Jesus would do, and Feel what Jesus would feel.
Distortion #9: Labeling: Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a loser.”
Personal labeling means creating a completely negative self-image based on your errors. It is an extreme form of overgeneralization. The philosophy behind this is “The measure of a man is the mistakes he makes.” There is a good chance you are involved in personal labeling whenever you describe your mistakes with sentences beginning with “I’m a…” For example, when you miss your putt on the eighteenth hole, you might say, “I’m a born loser” instead of “I goofed up on my putt.” Similarly, when the stock you invested in goes down instead of up, you might think, “I’m a failure” instead of “I made a mistake.”
Labeling yourself is not only self-defeating, it is irrational. Your self cannot be equated with any one thing you do. Your life is a complex and ever-changing flow of thoughts, emotions and actions. Labels are overly simplistic and wrong.
Exercise: What labels might a person employ toward themself in regard to:
• Their health • Their faith • Their family
When you label other people you will inevitably generate hostility. Mislabeling involves describing an event with words that are inaccurate and emotionally loaded. Often, when you call another person a name, they will return the favor. So, around and around we go. Stereotypes, bigotry and labeling short cut careful thought and consideration.
What happens in a marriage when one a husband concludes, “My wife is a crank”?
What happens in a company when an employee says, “My boss is an idiot”?
What happens in churches when one person labels another person’s faith as “crazy”?
Labeling is a distorted thinking process that causes you to feel inappropriately indignant and morally superior. It’s destructive to build your self-image this way: Your labeling will inevitably give way to your need to blame the other person. Your thirst for retaliation intensifies the conflict and brings out similar attitudes and feelings in the person you’re mad at. Labeling inevitably functions as a self- fulfilling prophecy. You polarize the other person and bring about a state of interpersonal warfare.
Labeling can often be overcome by asking pointed questions, “What do you mean by the word ‘Loser’? What are the qualifications? How do you become one?” Once you begin to ask these questions you are immediately jarred back into reality. Labels do not hold up in cross-examination.
Distortion #10: Personalization and blame:
a. You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for;
b. You blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.
This distortion is the mother of all guilt! You assume responsibility for a negative event when there is no basis for doing so. You arbitrarily conclude that what happened was your fault or reflects your inadequacy, even when you were not responsible for it.
Example 1: When a therapist prescribed homework for his patient, and the patient did not complete it, the doctor felt guilty because he thought, “I’m not a very good therapist. It’s my fault she isn’t working harder to help herself. It’s my responsibility to make sure she gets well.”
Example 2: When a mother saw her child’s report card, there was a note from the teacher indicating the child was not working well. She immediately decided, “I must be a bad mother.”
Example 3: You offer a constructive criticism to your boyfriend, who reacts in a defensive and hurt manner. You may blame yourself for his emotional upset and arbitrarily conclude that your comment was inappropriate. In fact, his negative thoughts upset him, not your comment. Furthermore, these thoughts are
probably distorted. He might be thinking that your criticism means he’s not good and conclude that you don’t respect him. Now – did you put that illogical thought into his head? Obviously not. He did it, so you can’t assume responsibility for his reaction.
If someone wanted you to take responsibility for how they are feeling, what could you say to yourself, and to them?
Me and You
There needs to be an appropriate boundary line between me and you. A boundary is a property line. It distinguishes between what is yours, and what isn't yours. It has to do with responsibility and ownership; what's mine; what’s not. Just as homeowners set physical property lines around their land, you need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn't. There are points of definition that have to be drawn and maintained in different areas of our lives.
2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
The most basic line is your skin. "He really gets under my skin” is a metaphor that says our personal boundaries have been violated. When we're talking about our skin, this boundary ends up being more important than we think it is when the transgression is sexual. Proverbs 5,6,7 talk about the inevitable pain that follows us when we cross that line, and that it's not always possible to count on the boundaries of others to keep our relationships from becoming sexualized.
The boundary of our skin ends of being even more deeply profound when the transgression is physical or sexual abuse. In this case a victim is not responsible for the boundary violation, but nevertheless will feel sick about it, because God has wired us up with a sense of boundary that functions as an alarm. When that boundary is breached counseling is usually important to re-set and re-clarify appropriate boundaries - even though….the person who is being abused is clearly a victim.
But in a broader sense, our skin is the most basic boundary that separates what's ours, and what's not. If you could draw an outline picture of yourself, and one of another person, you could say, “What's inside this line is me. I have to own it. I'm responsibility for it. Ultimately I'll be accountable for it What’s inside of you is yours. You have to own it and be accountable for it.”
The question to ask when Personalization begins to blur the distinctions is, “Is this me problem, or their problem?” Your skin ends up being the boundary for evaluation in the end. If it’s something inside of them, it’s theirs.
Why Monks Are Merciful
Through meditation, your brain can be reprogrammed to think in a different way. Richard Davidson and Antoine Lutz studied the brain activity of Mattieu Ricard, a French-born monk from Shechen Monastery in Katmandu. Ricard had over 10,000 hours of meditation. After attaching 128 electrodes to Ricard…
“Lutz asked Ricard to meditate on ‘unconditional loving-kindness and compassion.’ He immediately noticed powerful gamma activity – brain waves oscillating at roughly 40 cycles per second – indicating intensely focused thought. Gamma waves are usually weak and difficult to see. Those emanating from Ricard were easily visible, even in the raw EEG output. Moreover, oscillations from various parts of the cortex were synchronized – a phenomena that sometimes occurs in patients under anesthesia.
“The researchers had never seen anything like it. Worried that something might be wrong with their equipment or methods, they brought in more monks, as well as a control group of college students inexperience in meditation. The monks produced gamma waves that were 30 times as strong as the students’. In addition, larger areas of the meditator’s brain were active, particularly in the left prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for positive emotions.” (Wired, February, 2006)
We often think the brain becomes “frozen” as we reach adulthood. In fact, intensive training can make a huge difference.
The Sentinel
The next obvious question is how do we discipline our thoughts?
Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
In Control Yourself! Author Del Kehl suggests that Christians picture the mind as a renovated palace that can be assailed by a hideous throng of evil things – ugly thoughts. But when God’s peace stands guard at the door of your mind, ugly thoughts are stymied.
The sentinel cries, “Halt, in the name of the monarch who controls this citadel! What are your credentials? What is the password?” If the thought, attitude or mind-set lacks the proper credentials and doesn’t know the password, it cannot get in.
A Bad Mother
On Page 70 of Feeling Good, Dr. Burns shares a lengthy conversation with a woman named Nancy who wants to label herself as a “really bad mother.” By asking pointed questions, such as, “What is your definition of a bad mother?” he is able to address the overgeneralization and labeling that had distorted her view of herself:
Nancy: I should have worked with Bobby on his homework because now he is disorganized and not ready for school. I spoke to Bobby’s teacher, who said Bobby lacks self-discipline and doesn’t follow directions adequately.
Consequently, his schoolwork has been deteriorating.
I had a number of self-critical thoughts after the call and I felt suddenly dejected. I began to tell myself that a good mother spends time with her kids on some activity every night. I’m responsible for his poor behavior – lying, not doing well in school. I just can’t figure out how to handle him. I’m really a bad mother. I began to think he was stupid and about to flunk and how it was all my fault. David: Okay. What’s wrong with this statement, “I am a bad mother”? Nancy: Well…
David: Is there any such thing as a “bad mother”? Nancy: Of course.
David: What is your definition of a “bad mother”?
Nancy: A bad mother is one who does a bad job of raising her kids. She isn’t as effective as other mothers, so her kids turn out bad. It seems obvious.
David: So would you say a “bad mother” is one who is low on mothering skills? That’s your definition?
David: But all mothers lack mothering skills to some extent. Nancy: They do?
David: There’s no mother in this world who is perfect in all mothering skills. So they all lack mothering skills in some part. According to your definition, it would seem that all mothers are bad mothers.
Nancy: I feel that I’m a bad mother, but not everyone else is. David: Well, define it again. What is a “bad mother”?
Nancy: A bad mother is someone who does not understand her children or is constantly making damaging errors. Errors that are detrimental.
David: According to this new definition, you’re not a “bad mother,” and there are no “bad mothers” because no one constantly makes damaging errors.
Nancy: No one…?
David: You said that a bad mother constantly makes damaging errors. There is no such person who constantly makes damaging errors twenty-four hours a day. Every mother is capable of doing some things right.
Nancy: Well, there can be abusive parents who are always punishing, hitting – you read about them in the papers. Their children end up battered. That certainly could be a bad mother.
David: There are parents who resort to abusive behavior, that’s true. And these individuals could improve their behavior, which might make them feel better about themselves and their children. But’s it’s not realistic to say that such parents are constantly doing abusing or damaging things, and it’s not going to help matters by attaching the label “bad” to them. Such individuals do have a problem with aggression and need training in self-control, but it would only make matters worse if you tried to convince them that their problem was badness. They usually already believe they are rotten human beings, and that is part of their problem. Labeling them as “bad mothers” would be inaccurate, and it would also be irresponsible, like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.
Nancy: But I still have the feeling I am a “bad mother”? David: Well, once again, what is your definition?
Nancy: Someone who doesn’t give her child enough attention, positive attention. I’m so busy in school. And when I do pay attention, I’m afraid it may be all
negative attention. Who knows? That’s what I’m saying.
David: A “bad mother” is one who doesn’t give her child enough attention, you say? Enough for what?
Nancy: For her child to do well in life.
David: Do well in everything, or in some things?
Nancy: In some things. No one can do well at everything.
David: Does Bobby do well at some things? Does he have any redeeming virtues?
Nancy: Oh yes. There are many things he enjoys and does well at.
David: Then you can’t be a “bad mother” according to your definition because your son does well at many things.
Nancy: Then why do I feel like a bad mother?
David: It seems that you’re labeling yourself as a “bad mother” because you’d like to spend more time with your son, and because you sometimes feel
inadequate, and because there is a clear-cut need to improve your
communication with Bobby. But it won’t help you solve these problems if you conclude automatically you are a “bad mother.” Does that make sense to you? Nancy: If I paid more attention to him and give him more help, he could do better at school and he could be a whole lot happier. I feel it’s my fault when he doesn’t do well.
David: So you are willing to take the blame for his mistakes? Nancy: Yes, it’s my fault. So I’m a bad mother.
David: And you also take the credit for his achievements? And for his happiness?
Nancy: No – he should get the credit for that, not me.
David: Does that make sense? That you’re responsible for his faults but not his strengths?
Nancy: No.
David : Do you understand the point I’m trying to make? Nancy: Yep.
David: “Bad mother” is an abstraction; there is no such thing as a “bad mother” in the universe.
Nancy: Right. But mothers can do bad things.
David: They’re just people, and people do a whole variety of things – good, bad, and neutral. “Bad mother” is just a fantasy; there’s no such thing. The chair is a
thing. A “bad mother” is an abstraction. You understand that?
Nancy: I got it, but some mothers are more experienced and more effective than others.
David: Yes, there are all degrees of effectiveness at parenting skills. And most everyone had plenty of room for improvement. The meaningful question is not “Am I a good or bad mother?” but rather “What are my relative skills and weaknesses, and what can I do to improve?”
Nancy: I understand. That approach makes more sense and it feels much better. When I label myself “bad mother,” I just feel inadequate and depressed, and I don’t do anything productive. Now I see what you’ve been driving at. Once I give up criticizing myself, I’ll feel better, and maybe I can be more helpful to Bobby.
David: Right! So when you look at it that way, you’re talking about coping strategies. For example, what are your parenting skills? How can you begin to improve on those skills? Now that’s the type of things I would suggest with regard to Bobby. Seeing yourself as a “bad mother” eats up emotional energy and distracts you from the task of improving your mothering skills. It’s
irresponsible.
Nancy: Right. If I can stop punishing myself with that statement, I’ll be much better off and I can start working toward helping Bobby. The moment I stop calling myself a bad mother, I’ll start feeling better.
David: Yes, now what can you say to yourself when you have the urge to say, “I’m a bad mother”?
Nancy: I can say I don’t have to hate my whole self if there is a particular thing I find I dislike about Bobby, or if he has a problem at school. I can try to define that problem, and attack that problem, and work toward solving it.
David: Right. Now, that’s a positive approach. I like it. You refute the negative statement and then add a positive statement. I like that.
Dysfunctional Attitude Scale +2 Agree strongly +1 Agree slightly 0 Neutral
-1 Disagree slightly -2 Disagree very much
1. Criticism will obviously upset the person who receives the criticism. ____ 2. It is best to give up my own interests in order to please other people.
_____
3. I need other people’s approval in order to be happy. _____
4. If someone important to me expects me to do something, then I really should do it. _____
5. My value as a person depends greatly on what others think of me. _____
6. I cannot find happiness without being loved by another person. _____ 7. If others dislike you, you are bound to be less happy. _____
8. If people whom I care about reject me, it means there is something wrong with me. _____
9. If a person I love does not love me, it means I am unlovable. _____ 10. Being isolated from others is bound to lead to unhappiness. _____
11. If I am worthwhile person, I must be truly outstanding in at least one major respect. _____
12. I must be a useful, productive person or life has no purpose. _____ 13. People who have good ideas are more worthy than those who do not.
_____
14. If I do not do as well as other people, it means I am inferior. _____ 15. If I fail at my work, then I am a failure as a person. _____
16. If you cannot do something well, there is little point in doing it at all. _____
17. It is shameful for a person to display his weaknesses. _____
18. A person should try to be the best at everything he undertakes. _____