In a lot of relationships it is all about the kick of orgasm. However, if orgasm turns into an addiction, I'd highly recommend abstinence for some weeks or even months, since addictive orgasm leads to energetic unloading and the collapse of the natural tension between man and woman. This creates weakening of both partners followed by emotional conflicts, since the couple gets together on the Ego-level only and the soul is detached. When this happens, it is about time to re-cultivate the emotional awareness: to be aware of your own essential nature, as well as of the partner's essential nature. Meditation, concentrating on and observing the partner and silent appreciation of all present energies, are the keys for a conscious, new relationship. After some time of abstinence, the couple may slowly and with care start being physical again, which is experienced as a new gain.
Addiction can somehow be compared to the animal level: it lacks the conscious connection to mental divinity. Nowadays we know that addicts are capable of doing anything to get their fix: pretending, denying, stealing, violating all that can be seen. It is a destructive behavior that makes the person vacuous and in the end leads to physical death either quickly or over decades in little bits and pieces.
Addiction drives a person through painful death. True pleasure cannot be experienced anymore. Pleasure needs devotion, which is a spiritual move (act) and needs the ability to be obtained in the present, in eternity and the oblivion of the false self (ego). A woman who recognized the problem in her husband wrote to me: "Male sex is not fulfilling, it lasts for
When both partners are connected with the soul, an orgasm can become a very fulfilling and constructive experience. However, this needs a good sense of consciousness. Orgasms are often intended to balance or wash away mental dissonances in the couple's relationship or in the relationship itself. From my experience however, orgasms only bring out what is already in the mind accordingly, heaven or hell. It can lead to a loss of energy or a gain of energy depending on the constitution of the consciousness. I feel that the condemning of orgasms and sex, like some spiritual groups do is a pure mental concept. It encourages sexuality (physical illusion) through resistance to become real. Note once more: Find out yourself and experiment; realize how the ego works on all levels and also on the physical! Since in the end it is the ego and its delusional way of thinking that makes us suffer. 9.6 In the beginning: spiritual contemplation When love is supposed to succeed, our full commitment is demanded. Some fear this full commitment towards "the new" because old pain and disappointments are in the way. Then we prefer taking it easy, in hopes that this will save us pain in the end. Since at the bottom of our heart we all know: Everything on earth that has a beginning must come to an end and also, every love relationship. Every relationship is a common endeavor against death when being stuck on the level of the ego. When we manage to get in touch with the SOURCE within us, egomaniacal anxiety gives way to serenity.
The beginning for full commitment is spiritual contemplation: I feel the strong desire to be with a woman/man, however I don't run off and look around. I stay with me. I am capable of living on my own, I treat myself well, I am happy with myself and in peace. I trust in the spiritual guidance! I am guided, guarded and given the right thing at the right time. Accordingly, I am listening to the soul and pay attention to the impulses coming from within. After that, it may be time to wait or to act. Suddenly I feel I am going somewhere without even knowing why. "To meet love, without looking for it, is the way to find it," was once said by the wise Krishnamurti. To be without intention, agreeing to the world as it is, from the bottom of the heart, means being in synchronization with the mind. I don't want anything, since all I need to want is peace of mind to get somewhere. Whatever is harmonious will come along; it will fall into my lap easily. A common fallacy is the illusion of the powerful ego, as if we were ever able to control something when in the ego-mode. Ten thousand things fall mysteriously together and create the big picture. Accordingly: stay in the flow, trust your spiritual guidance! The one who mentally discusses if this person is the right one, has lost already. In this case, it can be suggested to stay away from the relationship, since an ambivalent feeling mostly expresses a "No". When it is right, we know it right away. We feel it! And we don't need any reasons for it, since reasons are just feeding our rational mind.
When not knowing what to do, one should wait and seek contemplation again. Don't ever get into a relationship out of fearing loneliness. If you do, you will end up terribly lonely in the marital bed. Finding ONESELF, whatever that may mean, is the base for a good relationship. Any fantasies of fusing are signs of embryonic desire and egomaniacal policy of alliances: the blissful feeling of being nourished in the mother's womb and the "the two of us
against the rest of the world." To acknowledge oneself as a spiritual being and to agree (to
I want to share many experiences with you and grow with you. The sentence, I can't live without you! is actually not a statement of love but rather a hidden threat. It is a child's
sentence talking to its mother.
We are outwardly only attracting the partners that match our inner attitude. When the feeling of inner shortage is torturing us we will become magnets for people who feel the same. Only the person who manifests inner abundance of being and doesn't have to desperately seek for it in the outside world any more will encounter abundance in the outside.