PLANTEAMIENTO GRADUAL DE LAS EXPECTATIVAS DE CRECIMIENTO EN

WORDS BEN KELLY

DO YOU WATCH EUROVISION?

Well I think it’s

compulsory viewing, isn’t it? I always watch it if I’m not working. Last year I was out in my place in Portugal and my friends were all there watching as well.

HOW DID BELIEVE IN ME COME TO BE YOUR ENTRY SONG?

Well it was done for my album Rocks and Honey, which is out in May, and it wasn’t intended for Eurovision but the BBC thought it was a really strong song, so they picked that one out. It was co-written with Desmond Child. You know, he’s a world-class songwriter so we’re all very happy with it. I think the reaction to the video we put out has been great so far. It’s had more than a million hits in a couple of weeks, so people love the song.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE EUROVISION ENTRY OF ALL TIME?

I think it was the early 70s, and it was a song called Come What May [Vicky Leandros, winner

for Luxembourg in 1972], so look that one up if you don’t know it. But of course the UK has had some of the best:

Katrina and the Waves!

And of course Waterloo – everybody loves Waterloo!

ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BIG NIGHT?

Yes, it’ll be nice to be there, in the spirit of the competition with all the other artists, you know, how our own countries can’t vote for us. So we’re all in the same boat in that respect.

FINALLY, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BRING IT HOME FOR BRITAIN THIS YEAR?

I hope so! But you never know do you, because Eurovision is so political and all that stuff . But I have got a good fanbase around Europe, with touring and that over the years. I mean, it’s a good song, I think we’re in with a good chance, so I’m just going to get out there and do my best.

Bonnie Tyler will represent the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest on May 18

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hose imports include people who can’t be open at home. That might explain their tendency to focus on flesh as much as music. Be wary standing next to them at the urinal. ‘A lot of people at Eurovision come from small communities where the options are really limited,’ says Miroslav, a Slovenian who now resides in Amsterdam.

The Maltese have earned a reputation for letting their hair down after-hours, and the Serbs frequently present as straight during the day but let it all hang out on their GPS-based apps at night. ‘It’s like going to a buffet,’ Miroslav says. ‘You’re suddenly surrounded by a lot of choice and you can eat as much as you want.’

Within the confines of the press centre, however, the casual fan may lose his appetite. That’s because many of the accredited super-fans, even the hot ones, have a tendency to digress into abstruse conversations that casual viewers will struggle to follow. That might include debating the evidence that some countries have hired PR companies to purchase votes, analysing the background of specific jury members, or assessing why Icelandic contestant Silvia Night told reporters at the 2006 contest that she didn’t make the final because she wasn’t ‘a slut from Holland’.

where they are surrounded by people they know.’ A shared love of Europop, which always gives fans something to talk about, also plays a role. Eurovision devotees – who can often distinguish between esoteric genres such as gypsy pop, schlager and turbofolk – make the most of the freedom they have to discuss their guilty pleasures. ‘In some gay circles, gays look down on it like they look down on the more effeminate gays,’ Gianni says. ‘But when we’re there together everyone likes the same thing so there is no shame.’

That might explain why hooking up at Eurovision doesn’t feel as sleazy as it might otherwise. It’s not just that everyone else is doing it, but rather that everyone is doing it with someone they’ve spent time bonding with. That old-fashioned courtship opens people up to all sorts, including feelings of self-worth and confidence.

Sergio, the Australian who had sex in the laundry room, left his sexcapade with a spring in his step. He still keeps in contact with his one-night stand. ‘I rarely pick up guys in real life, at least not without using Grindr, and I think that was probably the second time ever I have picked someone up in a club setting,’ he says. ‘It was certainly the first time I haven’t felt crap about it afterwards.’

Even rejection, which can ruin an evening out, doesn’t sting as much at Eurovision. It frequently results in lifelong friendships.

In Düsseldorf I met a rather bookish Frenchman named Jacques in the press centre, and proceeded to dance with him that night at EuroClub. (The song? Kati Wolf’s What About My Dreams? from

Hungary, a song about female emancipation and independence). He attempted to shove his tongue down my throat. I politely explained that I was getting civilly partnered the next week and was unavailable for tonsil hockey, and he kindly backed off. The next morning, while I was showering at my youth hostel, I heard him having sex in an adjacent stall. He stopped to say hello. ‘The contest means you always have something to say to each other,’ he says, adding that you should stay in a hostel rather than a hotel to maximise your chances of hooking up.

As with any gay adventure, frustrations can follow all the crazy stuff. The huge variety of cultures, languages and expectations can lead to some tricky situations. Miroslav spent much of his time in Baku speaking in German – his

T H I S Y E A R ’ S L O G O O N T H E C D C O V E R .

‘I think there are two groups of visitors from the gay world,’ Sascha says. ‘Those who are really serious and only want to count the votes and talk about the contestants’ dresses, and those looking for sex or fulfilling their fantasies.’ He’s had plenty of time to research the phenomenon:

he’s tallied 50 hook-ups during his 12 years on the scene.

Regardless of the camp they fall into, fans generally agree that Eurovision is a land of smiles and a place where even the bitterest queen can get her happy back. ‘People are friendlier than they would be in a gay bar, where people tend to be quite mean and where there’s not much solidarity,’

says Gianni, a 35-year-old Italian who first attended the 1999 contest in Jerusalem.

‘People aren’t putting on performances as much as they probably would be at home,

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third, and definitely not his best, language. That’s because he was keen to bed a musclebound Austrian he calls Hans. He’d touch the fortysomething on the chest and dance with him suggestively at EuroClub. He thought all was going well until he learned that Hans was already hooking up with an Azerbaijani hotel receptionist. ‘I was surprised to see an attractive older gay male going for a young bimbo with whom he only shared one language – cheap love,’ he says. ‘If Eurovision takes us to an Eastern European city it always reminds me of sex tourism in Thailand.’

T O P r i g h T :

ust as there are people who read Playboy for the articles, there are people who attend Eurovision to listen to the music and to rub shoulders with minor celebrities. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m one of them. I grew up in the United States but fell in love with Eurovision in 2009, shortly after learning that the scantily clad Romanian contestant was the daughter of a Macedonian priest. Her ridiculousness inspired me to launch a blog, and it clocked up 125,000 hits in the two weeks leading up to Eurovision that year. I later played her song, The Balkan Girls, at my civil ceremony, largely because I loved the opening line: ‘It’s time for me to unwind/ I’m gonna start my weekend with gin, tonic and lime’.

As someone in a relationship, the thrill of Eurovision doesn’t stem from chasing tail but from watching my Eurovision friends fall in love with third-rate pop stars, and from capturing silly moments for the blog. In Baku, poolside, we took covert pictures of the Austrian contestants oiling their muscled bodies, which we later published online. We alse heard learned, via a Croatian informant, that certain back-up dancers had been accused of trying to smuggle cheap artwork out of the Hilton Hotel. And at Baku airport we witnessed a contestant who had been eliminated in the semi-finals hurling insults at an espresso vendor who tried to overcharge her.

Ultimately, it’s sharing that quirky world with good friends that keeps fans coming back for more. ‘To most people we’re these weirdos who have a passion for something that the rest of the world just laughs at,’ Sergio says. ‘As a result we’re drawn together because we can talk about Eurovision seriously and, ultimately, we judge each other less than other people judge us. We all wish Eurovision was taken more seriously but I legitimately feel that if it was, it would probably be less special to us all.’

And so would the hook-ups.

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