SET-POINT

The Exposure is generally very prompt to detect any shortcomings in our national affairs and to chastise them editorially through the columns of this very valuable and able periodical. But this week we have been saved the trouble of exposing them, as, through the stupidity of their own actions, they have exposed themselves. I am referring of course to the Coffee Pot or Tea Pot Dome, or some such contrivance of kitchen apparel.1

Tea started one war we had, but nobody ever thought that a Tea Pot would boil over enough to scald some of our most honorable financiers. The only lamentable thing about it, as I am writing now, is that the U. S. Senate is investigating it. Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never to hear of it again is to have a Senate Committtee appointed to look into it.

You read where they go in session, and then you never hear any more of them unless one of them dies. Then it may come out that he held an ap- pointment on this certain Committee. Now if they had turned this thing over to some Justice of the Peace, and give him power to act, with no ap- peal, why we would be reading this morning what millionaire so and so had served in his cell from the outside for breakfast.

Now I see only one way out of this lamentable scandal—that is to do as the movies did, appoint a Will Hays to wet nurse the oil industry, and see if he can keep their nose clean.2_{When you come to think of it there is a}

great similarity between the two industries. Both of them, with the excep- tion of bootlegging, are the newest industry we have. Neither one is a pub- lic necessity. We got along great a few years ago without either. But the minute something shows its head in the movies that smacks of scandal, why a howl goes up like a pet coon.

The great criticism of the movies is that people are suddenly thrown into possessions of money who were never accustomed to handle it before, and that they lose their heads. Did you ever think of oil people? Why they are rich so quick they are millionaires before they have time to get the grease off their hands. They jump from a Ford to a Rolls Royce so fast that they try cranking the Rolls through force of habit.

So you take the two industries, scandal for scandal, and bribe for bribe! The Editorial writer of The Exposure after reading over back files of old newspapers, finds that oil has blackened the reputation of 99 percent more people than movies. Just the other day right here in our fair and untarnished city of Hollywood, didn’t one of our week end oil magnates go into a cafe in our midst and publically and for no reason take a whollop at our poor lit-

tle inoffensive Charlie Chaplin?3_{Who had never harmed a soul in a single}

reel in his life.

And then Charlie, when taunted almost to a point of generosity (which is the furthest he can be taunted) to use the modern slang of our day, arose, busted him on the nose and, while the magnate was arising, Charlie took two bows.

Now this man sells oil stock. Well, all I got to say is that any man that Chaplin can lick, his stock ain’t worth much.

Now, what I propose is for the Women’s Clubs to take action the minute a thing like this happens, and have that particular brand of oil ban- ished. Let each state act separately, and if a man is suspected (make it like the movies, he don’t have to be convicted) why, get busy at once and don’t allow any of his oil to be publically sold. For if there is one thing that we want to inculcate into the minds of the youths of this country it is that hon- esty and fair dealing with our own government is the foundation of this na- tion.

Our history honors many names whose morals would not stand the acid test, but our history honors no man who betrayed, or attempted to have be- trayed a government trust. I don’t want the patriotism of my children en- dangered, by driving around in a car that is propelled by gasoline manufactured from profits derived from tampering with the integrity of those noble officials whom we trust with not only our lives but our oil.

I have never been a mother, but I wish that I had so that I could get right up in club meetings and declare what the coming generation are en- dangered with.

Now mind you I am not against the good work that club women are doing for the public good. I am only in favor of them carrying it further and embracing some industry where it will do even more good.

The public is always after the stage and screen for some unfortunate happening, but can you imagine for a minute Sir Harry Lauder sending a hundred thousand dollars to a man, by way of a suit case.4_{We of the screen}

are supposed to be very careless of our English, but never have I heard one of us mistake $68,000.00 for 6 or 8 cows.

The very day that all this testimony came out in the papers, there was in the same paper a picture showing a Negro with one of those truth ma- chines fastened on his wrist, they are supposed to make you tell the truth, or rather to tell when you are lying. They had brought this Negro out of jail where he had been sentenced for 99 years. Now if he admitted that he killed the party he would get life. It meant either life or 99 years with him and they waste all this time on him, when that very day in Washington here were guys testifying with nothing on their wrists but silk shirts. God bless Amer- ica for a sense of humor.

If they had ever taken one of those truth machines to that investigation there would have been more Americans sailing for Europe than went dur- ing the war. One good thing about these investigations in high quarters, they always give the party a chance to come back a second time so he can explain how he was misunderstood at the first one.

Now I am in favor, as I say, of appointing a keeper for them like we have. I would just off hand suggest William J. Bryan, or Dr. Percy Stick- ney Grant.5_{What they most need is some one whose reputation is above re-}

proach, and some one who will add a certain dignity to the oil business which is sadly lacking now. Now I think Bryan would be the best of the two as it would get his mind off this business of descending from a mon- key. Then he could not only add a certain prestige to what has degraded into a greasy industry, but he could also advise them when and with whom to place their bribes where they would not be apt to creep out.

Now there is all this talk about making this a campaign issue. I think that is a good thing. We have no issue. This looked like the only campaign in history with no issue. Just think of what a dull election we would have with no issue. The only resemblance to an issue we have had up to now was tax reduction. And both parties claimed that. The Republicans claim they thought of it first, and the Democrats claim they needed it worst. So now the campaign cry is, “Have you a little scandal in your party.” Of course it would be a cinch issue but some of the fellows are Democrats, so that kinder complicates matters.

But I can sympathise with their industry. I can remember when the movies looked bad and it was thought we would never be able to show our heads again. So if they can just get a Will Hays to chaperone them back into decency again, we may yet be able to save some of our oil for what is left of our Navy.

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WILSON COULD LAUGH