Posverdad y otros retos emergentes

Romantic relationships are more common practice amongst young people than it has usually been anticipated and refer to mutually acknowledging continuing voluntary associations or interactions with emotional attachment, expression of affections and ongoing or expected sexual behaviour (Collins, Welsh and Furman, 2009). Giddens (1992) described that contemporary romantic relationships in western countries do not follow the same patterns that were experienced previously during more traditional cultural contexts and today young people are involved in constructing their own meaning of such relationships. Young people’s romantic relationships in contemporary society are integrated into their individual development and wellbeing, which is triggered by strong passionate desire and attraction while driven by the young person’s emerging needs for affiliation and intimacy with people other than their family members (Connolly and Goldberg, 1999; Collins, 2003; Furman and Shaffer, 2003). The interactions with companions outside the family

network create an opportunity for possible romantic relationships and sexual intimacies in wider social networks.

Social networks and sociocultural norms play an important role in determining expression of romantic relationships (Connolly et al., 2004; Sprecher, 2011).

There is a strong emphasis on maintaining the pride and honour of the family within the South Asian community and every individual member of the family is expected to accept certain sociocultural norms that restrict their expressions of sexual intimacy in public (Griffiths et al., 2008). Dating and relationships are a private and secret matter for the majority of South Asian young people, which means verbalisation of sexuality outside of marriage is considered inappropriate amongst many Asian populations (Okazaki, 2002;

Menger et al., 2015). Hennink, Diamond and Cooper (1999) -in research among South Asian girls in Britain- suggested that young women’s romantic relationships and sexual behaviour are influenced by cultural traditions, religious obligations, family adherence and community expectations. Young females are inclined to keep their romantic relationships secret because of the expectations compared to male counterparts; to maintain familial pride, honour and reputations within the society. Studies suggest that women need to maintain their own dignity of being good and respectful since boys remain prestigious and girls are seen as characterless or prostitutes within society if they are understood to be in romantic or sexual relationships (Regmi, Simkhada and van Teijlingen, 2010a). Despite all the sociocultural norms and expectations, the popularity of dating culture amongst Nepalese young people has seen increasing number of young boys and girls involved in romantic relationships and premarital sexual activity (Regmi et al., 2011; Menger et al., 2015). The normalisation of dating and romantic relationships in young people’s individual development, due to changing leisure and lifestyle behaviours, creates many opportunities for sexual intimacies within love relationships.

In contemporary society romantic relationships are grounds for affiliation, intimacy and sexual encounters (Furman and Shaffer, 2003). Love is a traditional representation of romance while sex is an expression of love within

relationships (Borusiak, 2012). However, the concept of love and sex vary depending on the man and woman involved in a relationship. Peplau, Rubin and Hill (1977: 97) identified 3 distinct types of couples based on interactions between love and sex in their relationship: sexual traditionalists, sexual moderates and sexual liberals. Sexual traditionalists believe in sexual abstinence and for them, love alone is not enough to justify sexual intercourse. For sexually moderate couples, love is enough to justify sexual intercourse and long-term commitment is not always necessary. Sexually liberal couples approve casual sex and believe romantic relationships are not required to engage in sexual activities (Ibid., 1977). The research also reported that men usually encourage sexual intercourse in a relationship while women limit a couple’s sexual intimacy, which may create disagreement about the timing of first sexual intercourse in a dating relationship (Ibid., 1977). According to Baumeister, Catanese and Vohs (2001) males have frequent and intense sexual desire in a heterosexual relationships, while females prefer to spend longer within a new relationship before agreeing to engage in the first sexual intercourse. Furthermore, it was reported that women’s prime focus in a relationship is on emotions and caretaking; whereas men emphasise sexual intimacy, which creates a situation where females have to often comply with the sexual needs of their male partners (Ibid., 2001).

Impett and Peplau (2003) conducted a systematic review on sexual compliance in heterosexual relationships that described which individuals are more likely to comply with their partner’s sexual desire and explored the reasons behind it. This research suggested 3 different perspectives to explain sexual compliance in a relationship: gender, motivational and relationship maintenance perspective. In heterosexual relationships, young females are likely to be sexually compliant in order to meet their partner’s sexual desire ahead of their own and will gladly engage in unwanted sex to safeguard themselves and their relationship. This is presumably linked to gender differences in sexual desire, modesty in taking the lead to initiate sexual interactions or to accept the power and dependence within the relationship in order to promote the development and stability of a committed relationship

(Impett and Peplau, 2002; 2003). For some couples, sexual compliance is associated with the motivation of gaining approval from romantic peers, impressing peers, pleasing partners, feeling more desirable or gaining sexual experience and is integrated with emotional reactions, sexual risk taking and sexual violence (Dewitte, 2012).

The attitudes and experiences of young people towards intimacy and sex have changed over the years and both men and women within a committed relationship equally value sexual intimacies; however, the differences seem to exist during adolescence and at an early stage of the relationship (McCabe, 2005). Connolly and Goldberg (1999: 278) proposed that romantic relationships at any age evolve through four distinct stages: initial infatuation, affiliative, intimate and committed romantic relationships. The relationship initiates with physical attractions to gain confidence in finding a romantic partner without any actual interaction or intimacy and with limited contacts, which progresses into affiliation involving companionship and creating opportunities to learn to interact with the opposite sex and meet potential partners (Crissey, 2005; Meier and Allen, 2009). Once they gain confidence and experience, there is a possibility of intimate romantic relationships that may involve passionate feelings, emotional intimacy and sexual activity.

Sexual activity in an ongoing relationship may be used to increase closeness, bonding, acceptance and commitment to strengthen relationships or to turn short-term relationships into long-term relationships (Meston and Buss, 2007).

This final stage combines passion, affiliation and intimacy in redefining romantic relationships with commitment and exhibiting caregiving behaviour that leads to long term committed relationships and maintains continuity of the relationship (Shulman and Seiffge-Krenke, 2001). Age and experience play an important role in the progression of these stages for romantic development and are consistent among both males and females (Connolly et al., 1999).

However, not all romantic relationships progress into long-term relationships, which leaves many young people to experience multiple breakups in the early years of their lives.

Breakups are a normative part of young people’s individual development and social experience and both males and females are equally likely to report romantic dissolutions (Connolly and McIssac, 2009). For young people, romantic relationships often are a transitory stage where physical attractions are combined with emotional experiences¹⁹ to bring boys and girls together (Shulman and Kipnis, 2001). However, there is a lack of commitment or care giving; which diminishes the prospect of mature and long term committed relationships but increases the chances of breakups (Ibid., 2001). Most romantic dissolutions are self-initiated, especially by girls, because of their relatively greater sensitivity towards the needs within a romantic relationship (Connolly and McIssac, 2009). Young people associate their breakups with failure to meet the romantic needs for intimacy, affiliation, sexuality, identity and autonomy that is rooted in personal needs. Romantic relationships and breakups are central to young people’s development and play an important role in identifying self-confidence and developing interpersonal skills related to sexual intimacy and passion providing emotional support and security (O’sullivan et al., 2007). Asian young people are least likely to report romantic relationships or breakups although an increasing number of Nepalese young people are involved in dating and romantic relationships in current years (Connolly et al., 2004; Regmi et al., 2011). This has changed the sexual experiences and behaviour of Nepalese young people and provides ample opportunities to engage in premarital sexual activities, which presuambly creates a dilemma because of the sociocultural norms and affect their sexual practices leading to marriage.