Filial piety was expressed as “set an example to teach their children”.
Participants employed several Vietnamese Proverbs to highlight the importance and
meaning of filial piety:
Có rễ mới có cây, có gốc mới có ngọn
When drinking the water, think of its source (CG 1)
Con phải nhớ mình có nguồn, có gốc
You must remember your origins (CG 11)
Có phúc thì có phận. Share of happiness/ fortune one
The symbolised connection between “water and its source” or “origins” are
utilised to teach their younger generation. "Water" is a precious thing. If there is no
water, humans and plants will be destroyed, no life. "Source" is the place of origin of
the water or the root. The merit of the birth parents is really incomparable. Children
should be grateful towards their parents and express deepest gratitude toward them.
Children should respect all daily food, clothing and medicine when we are sick,
comfort provided by their parent as well as the enforced role of nurturing them since
they were born. Although it is literally just a proverb, it has been utilised as a
profound implication of gratitude. "Water" was also implied as the heritage from the
father or previous generation. So, when inherited, people must remember and respect
who created it. Then, children should treasure and preserve as well as conserve. On
the other hand, the human has a duty to promote good moral character and pass it on
to the next generation. All those issues have been passed as heritage from this
generation to the next generation. Participants emphasized filial piety as “their
traditional custom/ habit or heritage (truyền thống)” (CG8) or “we are still following”.
They used heritage or tradition to highlight the long process of “setting an example”. Filial piety has been taught and propagated across family generations, for example: “It should be hereditary from this generation to next generation” (CG 6).
Great grandparents set a good example for grandparents to imitate. Grandparents
then acted as good role models for the parent to follow. In this generation, parents
have kept and maintained the tradition in the family. This is a process of transferring
Thực ra thì cái này cô nghĩ là từ xưa trong cái truyền thống gia phong của nhà cô thì cô được bà nội dạy là con cháu báo hiếu cha mẹ vô cùng. Tức là cái chữ vô cùng nó rộng lắm thì cô nghĩ rằng mình tức là nếu mà... cái này nó hoàn toàn phụ thuộc vào gia phong nền nếp thì đúng hơn, cô nghĩ rằng mình có báo hiếu cha mẹ bao nhiêu cũng không đủ.
In fact, I was educated by my grandmother to follow our family’s traditional custom and reputation. She taught us children should show and apply filial piety to their parents plenty/ uncountable/largely. The meaning of filial piety is very widely/enormous… It will also depend on the traditional custom/habits of each family. I also think that it is not enough for us to show gratitude and present filial piety to our parent (CG 8).
In the family, children not only study from their parents, they are also educated
and guided by their grandparents and elderly relatives to maintain and improve the
reputation and traditional line of the family.
…Việc tôi làm tròn chữ hiếu là như thế này, là lúc mẹ khỏe thì mẹ làm mẹ ăn, giờ mẹ già mẹ dựa vào con cái. Chúng tôi sống là để cho con cái sau này, là cũng phải bắt chước mình là để làm sao để khi mẹ già, tự nguyện, những thằng con rể, hoặc những đứa con gái đây nó cũng tự nguyện nó bảo ừ đấy trước mẹ sống như thế nên giờ coi là mình cũng bắt trước mẹ, sống
“…The way I fulfil filial piety is like this: when mom was healthy and young, she served herself. Elderly mother leans to her children when gets older. We are living for our children so that they imitate/duplicate what I have done for my mother- in -law. My
sons-in-law or daughter should
spontaneously take responsibility for caring for their parents or parents-in-law. They will remind themselves of how to live and
làm sao cho nó trọn làm chữ hiếu, cho cha cho mẹ vui vẻ lúc tuổi già. Thèm cái gì cho ăn đấy, mẹ sai mình cũng phải bỏ qua, là mẹ mà, mẹ có sai lúc này mình không đốp chat…
treat them as their parents have performed in order to make parents happy and give them pleasure with their aging. If they request for anything, we should satisfy them. Sometimes, if parents make something not correct, we should not mind. Never date back or argue…
Filial piety involved not being jealous about others benefiting, and not from
setting a good example to children.
… tôi không bao giờ phân chia, 2 chị tôi là trên tôi thật,, chị có tâm đến đâu thì biết đến đấy, trước tôi là con gái tôi chẳng, các chị cũng chẳng tị với tôi thì tôi cũng thế, chẳng tị với các chị, thương mẹ đến đâu thì giúp còn tôi làm hết…
…I’ve never asked to share my duty of care with my sisters-in-law. Although I understand that they are older and in higher family position than I am, the more support they offer, the better we (my family) gain. I’ve never been jealous with what property and fortune parents is passed to them….(CG 11)
“In my family, there are four sisters-in-law and only a youngest sister. So, we have already discussed and designated tasks. It seems not to be responsibilities…. For us, we are a solid and wonderful group, consisting sisters-in-law, brother-in- law, brothers and sister” (CG 7). For this case, filial piety also can be described
clearly among children and other family members. They have solidarity as a family
“Parents are suffering from diseases when they are getting older. I’m their child; therefore it is my responsibility to care for them by standing by, without any signs of reluctance/signs.” (CG16).
“Although my husband is the youngest son in a family of 7 sons, we decided to take responsibility as main caregivers for my father-in-law just because all of my husband’s brothers got married and moved out before my husband and I married. Since then, my parents-in-law still live with us. It is normal for me… We have not asked for help from my husband’s brothers” (CG6). The reason to become a main
caregiver is quite simple in this case. The youngest son who got married last
naturally cares for his parents-in-law, because he lived with them before getting
married.
Respondents emphasized that they do not take into account whether they are “daughter or son”. The reason they decided to care of their parent is just they, “have better criteria to offer the service”. Those criteria include, “more spare time”, “better health”, and “more supportive resources”. “Cho các cụ phấn khởi/ They are very excited” (CG 12). The elderly relative is so proud and so motivated when their children show gratitude and filial piety to their predecessors.