Participants were asked how family, friends and neighbours as components of the microsystem provided for their emotional support needs. Table 4.14 presents the responses of the participants.
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Table 4.14: Emotional Support Available at the Microsystems Level Theme: Social Support available at the Microsystem Level
Sub- theme Category Narratives Emotional Support available
Family “My partner helps when I have emotional problems. When it is about the relationship, I talk to my sister.”
(Ke bua le monna wame fa go tsena ko tsa maikutlo, fa e le ka dikgang tsa di relationship ke bua le nkgonne wa mosadi)
“I talk to my older sister when I have relationship problems, my mother also advises.” (Ke bua le nkgonne fa kena le mathata a tsa di relationship)
“I am able to talk to my father’s brother and his wife. They are the ones that provided emotional support to us during our father’s passing. I am also able to talk to my mother and sister.” (Ke kgona go bua le rrangwane le mosadi wa gagwe. Ke bone ba ba neng ba re tshegeditse ka nako ya loso la ga ntate)
“I am able to talk to my older brother and my mother when I have relationship problems.” (Fa kena le mathata bogolo jang a banna ke bua le nkgonne wa monna ka na le mme)
Friends “I do not talk to friends because when you confide in a friend you make your problems worse off. Friends just laugh at you without assisting you.” (Ga ke bue le ditsala, ka gore ga o mmolelelela o oketsa mathata; ditsala di go ja setshego di sa go thuse) “I do not have friends, friends can mess things up for you. You cannot trust them; they can laugh at you behind your back.” (Ga kena ditsala; ditsala di kgona go go tlhakatlhakanyetsa. Ga di tshephege, di go ja setshego)
“I have no friends to talk to. I do not want to end up in unnecessary conflicts.” (Ga kena ditsala, ga ke bate dikgogakgogano tse di sa tlhokafaleng)
“I do not have friends, friends are stressful.” (Ga kena ditsala; ditsala di tsenya stress.)
“Friends do not want to see friends prosper, they will betray you and laugh at you.” (Ditsala ga di ratelane botshelo, ba go ja direthe; ba go tshega.)
Neighbours “We do not have close relations as I do not want to end up in the midst of conflicts.” (ga rena botsalano jo bo tseneletseng ka gore ga ke bate dikgang tse di tshesane)
“My neighbours are my cousins who I am able to talk to for emotional support” (Di neighboura tsame ke bo ntsalake ba ke kgonang go bua le bone fa kena le mathata)
“I completely do not relate with them in that way. I can talk to them but not on serious issues.” (Tota gotlhelele ga ke tsalane le bone ka tsela ee ntseng jalo. Ee ke ka bua le bone mme e seng ka sepe se se serious)
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“There is an older woman who is my neighbour that I am able to talk to.” (Gona le mme yo mongwe, ke mme yo mogolwane ke ene ke a te ke bue le ene)
Social Groups “The members are able to provide emotional support to each other during difficult times such as death of a family members.” (Maloko a kgona go thusana bogolo that ka dinako tse di thata tse di tshwanang bo leso la mogwe wa losika)
“Church provides emotional support and keeps me on the right track.” (Kereke e a nthusa; e nthusa gore ke seka ka tswa mo tseleng)
“I was able to interact with people and meet other needy people which helped me emotionally.” (Ke ne ka kgona go kopana le go buisanya le batho ba bangwe ba ba tlhokang mo go neng ga nthusa hela thata mo go tsa maikutlo)
“It does provide emotional support but it has not provided for me as yet.” (Ba kgona go thusa mme nna le gale ga ba ise ba nthuse)
“I am no longer active in the group.” (Ga ke sa tlhole ke le active mo groupong malatsi a)
Emotional Support Provided by Family
Almost all the participants interviewed (19) said that they depended on their family members for emotional support; only one (1) participant indicated that she does not rely on any family member for emotional support; instead the family relies on her for emotional support. According to the participants, emotional support provided by family members is through talking to them and encouraging them, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
The findings of this study are in line with what Keating-Lefler et al. (2004) found in their study in which all the women engaged in a focus group discussion gave examples of the positive social support they received from family, especially from female family members. The trend that became apparent was that the single mothers were able to talk to different members of their families, including male members, for emotional support. Their family members were not confined to nuclear family members but included extended family members as well.
Emotional Support Provided by Friends
A quarter of the interviewed participants indicated that they did get emotional support from their friends; they were able to talk to them when they faced challenges and when they needed someone to talk to. The remaining three quarters said that they do not get any emotional support from their friends because some do not have friends, others do not confide in them, and others do not trust them enough to involve them in their lives to that extent. Turney and Harknett (2010) point out that it may be difficult for individuals residing in low-income communities to develop supportive relationships with non-relatives as these relationships may take long to develop because of the lack of trust found in
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neighbourhoods with high crime rates. Sampson (1988) indicated that neighbourhood-based friendship ties are positively associated with time spent in one’s neighbourhood. So, for those families that have stayed for a long time in the neighbourhood, there is a high likelihood for supportive friendship with non-relatives to develop. Lack of trust and belief that friends can do right by them is the trend that is observed in the findings of this study. Most of the reasons advanced by the participants concerning why they do not get emotional support from friends include that they do not have friends or that they do not have a relationship with friends that can facilitate emotional support.
Emotional Support Provided by Neighbours
The participants were further asked how their neighbours provided emotional support to them. In response, one third of the participants said that they get emotional support from neighbours as they were able to talk to them and confide in them. The other two thirds said that they did not get any emotional support from their neighbours as they did not talk to them, while some said they did not confide in them even though they did talk. These participants explained that they were not close enough with their neighbours to confide in them; for others it was an issue of trust. They did not feel that they could trust their neighbours with their challenges. So, as with friends, the issue of trust was a determinant in whether the single mothers could talk to and get emotional support from their neighbours. The issue expressed by the participants of lack of trust in their friends and neighbours has been found to exist among black people with a lower income status (Lindbland-Goldberg & Dukes, 1985). This lack of trust has been characterized as being overly protective as a defence against disappointment (Lindblad-Goldberg & Dukes, 1985).
Emotional Support Provided by Social Groups
Two fifths of the participants said that their social groups provided them with emotional support; some said that, even though they had not yet benefited from the emotional support their groups provided, it was available; one was no longer active in the social group and as such did not get any emotional support, while the question was not applicable to close to half of the participants as they did not belong to any social group.
Those that had benefited from their membership of these social groups indicated that the support they got was through interacting with other members and support provided during emotionally taxing periods such as bereavement in the family, as narrated in Table 4.14. Joseph and Chatters (1988) identified a number of factors which may predict whether one will receive assistance from the church. These include church membership and church attendance (Joseph & Chatters, 1988), which are indicators of involvement and integration within the church. This finding by Joseph and Chatters (1988) could be true for most social groups, as one should usually be a member to receive support from such.
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Close to half of the participants were not members of social groups, and therefore did not get emotional support from these groups. One of the social groups that members belonged to were burial societies which, according to Ntseane and Mupedziswa (2013), rendered support in the form of financial contributions as well as physical labour during funerals, and psychosocial support and other essential services to allow the family time to grieve for their loved one with dignity. The emotional support provided by social groups, especially during difficult times such as death of a family member, may help single mothers to deal with the stressor of the death of a loved one.