Prioridad nacional 10: Reforma fiscal integral (OSD 16 Y 17)

2.1 Vinculación de programas y proyectos por prioridad nacional

2.1.10 Prioridad nacional 10: Reforma fiscal integral (OSD 16 Y 17)

"Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect."

– Margaret Mitchell

Expectations: How to Expect Less and Get More

Objectives - Lesson 4:

• To become more effective and less affected

• To understand that our expectations are usually too high which creates much of our anxiety and depression.

• To have a more realistic view of our world and ourselves.

• To be able to set realistic goals.

• To distinguish between healthy and unhealthy "shoulds."

• To realize we are responsible for how we feel.

• To recognize over-reactive responses.

• To see the four central themes in our beliefs that lead to anxiety and depression: perfectionism, lack of assertiveness, unrealistic expectations and victim thinking.

• To recognize that our attitude, beliefs and miss-beliefs are responsible for much of our stress, anxiety and depression.

• To understand that depression is a medical condition, and very treatable. To become more comfortable with treatment choices.

Expectations and "shoulds" often go beyond yourself to everything and everyone around you.

High expectations have the potential to set you up for disappointment.

Of course, you do need to set goals and to try to achieve them.

But too often, people who suffer from chronic anxiety and depressive episodes have unrealistic expectations attached to their goals. Consequently, when and if they achieve their goals, the results do not live up to their expectations and they are disappointed. Often, they feel so overwhelmed by their expectations of that goal that they never try to achieve it for fear of failure or fear of self-hate.

If you can learn to lower your expectations to a more realistic level, even partial achievement can be viewed as an achievement.

Maybe you didn't get the job, but you did feel you did well on the interview. Next time, you WILL get the job. Maybe you didn't do all of your grocery shopping your thirst time out by yourself, but you did make it to the store. That is an achievement. Next time, you can stay longer. Maybe you won't be completely over your anxiety and depression when you leave this program. You will be much better and you will have all the tools you need to continue working on your problems until they are conquered.

Things that are worth more usually take more time in coming. They also take more effort. When you learn to lower your expectations, you will also learn patience.

People who suffer from anxiety disorder enjoy immediate gratification. The main problem with immediate gratification is that it is not long-lasting. You often don't feel you deserve it.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you feel as if you really didn’t work hard enough for it.

Either way, you are headed for disappointment.

By lowering your expectations, the good things that happen are always recognized while the bad things are accepted as an inevitable part of life.

You simply learn from them and move on.

Read each of the following statements. The stronger you feel about the statement, the higher the number you should circle. Find the subtotals for each column, then add the subtotals to get your total score.

Step 1: Go through the statements and circle the number that best describes your response.

I = I never feel this way

2 = I occasionally feel this way

3 = I frequently feel this way 4 = I almost always feel this way l. I like to be in control at all times ...……….

2. I like things to be fair...……….

3. I have a hard time saying “no” without feeling guilty...…...

4. I like things to be perfect ...……….

5. I have high expectations of myself ………..

6. I worry about what other people think...………...

7. If I want something done right, I feel I should do it myself ………

8. I feel guilty easily...………...

9. I do not like to fail ...………..

10. I feel people should listen better...………..

11. I don't like to cause conflict………

12. People don't appreciate all that I do ………...

13. I'm not where I want to be in life ………...

14. There is not enough time in my day ...………...

15. I don't really feel rested...……….

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 Subtotal __ __ __ __

Total ________

Step 2: Find the subtotal for each column by adding the numbers in each column. (i.e. – If you have circled three number 3's, your subtotal will be 9).

Step 3: Add the subtotals together and note your grand total. Consult the score sheet on page (v) in the introduction to score your evaluation.

Should Rule's

"Should" rules for yourself usually are easy to recognize.

They are expectations for yourself that you typically fall short of. They are usually unrealistic and not as important as you might think. It is important here to recognize why you have these particular "shoulds" and what their importance really is. Once you begin to eliminate the

"shoulds" that really aren't necessary, you will find you have eliminated much of the anxiety that comes with them in the form of procrastination.

"Should" rules that you have for others or for the world around you are impossible to fulfill.

This is a different way of saying, "I deserve this or that, "or "It's only fair if.... " The truth of the matter is life has no guarantees. Nothing is fair. You don't always get what you deserve. Very often, you get things you don't think you deserve. You set goals. You plan. You work hard and hopefully you will achieve. The only real guarantee you have is that opportunity is out there for those who are willing to go after it.

One thing "should" rules will always do is to set you up for disappointment and self-hate. You will never live up to your own expectations.

You must:

• eliminate the unimportant "shoulds"

• be more compassionate toward yourself about the important "shoulds"

• eliminate or minimize many of the "shoulds" you have for others and the world around you

• don't "should" on yourself

Examples of unrealistic "shoulds" and expectations.

• I should by happy • Things should be fair

Examples of unrealistic personal "shoulds."

• I should be a better parent • I should be more outgoing

• I should go back to school • I should spend more time with my parents

• I should clean the house more often Homework

Name ____________________________________________

List below some of the "shoulds" you have for yourself.

1. _______________________________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________________________________

Which of these "shoulds" could you scratch through? Which are not realistic, are not important or are other people's expectations and "shoulds" for you? Try to view the remaining (valid)

"shoulds" in a more realistic way. How can you turn these "shoulds" into goals to be accomplished?

What are some of your expectations of others? _____________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

Are these realistic? ________________________________________

What do you feel you deserve? __________________________________________________

What do you feel you have coming to you and why? _________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

What are your expectations of this program? ______________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

List below any negative thoughts or statements you have had this week.

After you have written the negative statement, replace it with a positive statement on the next line.

Negative _____________________________________________________________________

Positive ______________________________________________________________________