By practicing what we call at the Institute “the Doc’s Math,” I learned to identify the energy assets and defi- cits in my system. Certain thoughts and attitudes drained my energy and cut off my heart connection, while others brought me back in contact with my heart. Feeling the heart frequencies of love, care, forgiveness and appre- ciation always brought me closer to my inner heart. If I got stuck in judgmental head thoughts, resentments and “poor-me” feelings, my heart computer seemed inacces- sible. But through practice, I was able to turn my focused attention to either heart frequencies or head frequencies, or a combination of both. It was my choice. I learned that we all have a radio dial inside and we can choose which frequency we turn the dial to. I realized that’s what self- empowerment is really about.
When I was at work, closing out the cash register, taking inventory or balancing the checkbook, I certainly wanted my head frequencies functioning in full gear. When I was with my family or friends, or by myself, it felt better to my system to live in the heart feelings of
love, care and peace. I learned to turn my radio dial to the heart and put out a lot of love, compassion and ap- preciation. The rewards were a deep sense of fulfillment much of the time.
However, certain situations could still upset me and catch me off guard. I’d find myself back in the head, jus- tifying my reactions and forgetting that I even had a heart. For example, I never spanked or really disciplined my son when he was very young. At almost three years old, he was so wild and created so many disturbances, that friends told me if I didn’t begin to discipline him, he’d soon be impossible to deal with. He was controlling my life. My mind wanted to justify all the ways I was a good mother, and then I felt sorry for myself. I cried and cried about it. There I was, full of self-pity, drained and upset. But my friends were speaking truth and my heart knew it. So I picked myself up and decided to start disciplin- ing him by asking my heart intuition how to do it. Once I get a clear understanding of a situation, there’s part of me that becomes like a warrior, and I carry out what I know to be true. So I did. What a turning point this was in both our lives! His behavior started to improve imme- diately. He knew I meant business, but he also felt my love. I could see how I was saving a tremendous amount of energy for both of us. Within a month he had changed completely. Within six months, the change had stabilized —he had become a beautiful child.
The Heart
When they weren’t followed and other people were af- fected, I’d have to say something. I’d use my heart intelligence to communicate as effectively as I could. Things went well until one employee began to arrive at work late several days a week—always with some ex- cuse. I spoke with her about it twice. When nothing changed, I didn’t say any more because I wasn’t the con- fronting type. I found myself avoiding her and not feeling very good about it. The other employees were getting resentful and expected me to do something.
One morning I woke up realizing I might have to fire her and it upset me terribly. I’d been doing so well living in the heart, my life was going so smoothly, and now this. I felt angry at her and at life. I slipped back into my old habit of feeling sorry for myself. When I got home from work that day, I was worn out. I didn’t even feel like looking to my heart for an answer. Resentful thoughts kept churning over in my mind, and I knew if I didn’t do something they would lead me into more pain and stress. My own intelligence was telling me I had to act now. Like a soldier, I sat on my bed and tried to quiet my rac- ing mind and at least neutralize my feelings. I decided to send love to this young woman who kept coming in late. I focused on my heart and sincerely felt love for her. I was able to let go of the resentments by understanding she had problems juggling children and work. As I went deeper in my heart, I could hear my inner voice say, “Why not set up a different work schedule for her? See if she would start work an hour later and, even though it would
mean less pay, she would still be able to keep the job.” Other than being late, she was a good worker and I knew the rest of us could handle the store the first hour of the day just fine without her.
What a simple answer! It felt so good. If she didn’t want to do it, then I’d have to let her go, but at least I felt secure I had a fair alternative. Now it was up to her. The next day I called her into my office and proposed the new plan, with the provision that she agree to always be on time. She was so relieved and grateful that she kept thanking me and said she’d work harder to make up for that hour. That’s exactly what she did and she was never late. This experience made me even more determined to get back into my heart more quickly in the future. All that wasted energy from unnecessary worry and stress, a stocking full of deficits, just because I didn’t go to my heart intelligence at the beginning!
It’s Up to You
The experience of seeing the results of heart intelli- gence in your life acts as a booster rocket to motivate you to keep using your heart for a readout on big or small decisions. You begin to see different life geometries as opportunities—either for empowerment and accumulat- ing energy or for self-victimization and accumulating stress. It’s your decision.
The basis of heart empowerment as a complete sys- tem for fulfillment starts with remembering to quiet your
The Heart
tives to manage the regular day-to-day situations of life. You realize you are responsible for how you manage your system. It’s your own inner business. You achieve balance by listening to your heart directives and self- correcting your inefficient thoughts, feelings and attitudes with heart power. It’s just common sense to go for that feeling of knowingness inside. Most of us have a lot of old programming to clear out and repro- gram with wiser energy-saving attitudes. No one else is going to do it for you. No one else is going to give you fulfillment. Your security lies within you, just waiting for you to find it.
The dance of life does not have to be a slow waltz. It can be any type of dance you want, but sometimes a waltz is nice. As you dance through life you can find the perfect rhythm and balance for you. If you don’t run too fast or walk too slow, you can find a fun, fulfilling skip. As you learn what creates assets or deficits in your system, you gain more power to transform what doesn’t feel good to you. In HeartMath seminars, we teach people how to create a personal energy management bal- ance sheet. You use the balance sheet by observing yourself each day to see what drained your energy (your stress-producing attitudes and responses to situations) and what added to your energy and well-being (your energy-accumulating attitudes and responses). You pin- point each deficit and ask your heart how to turn that deficit into an asset. Then you use heart directives to make the most energy-efficient attitude adjustments.
Just as I was starting to edit this chapter, the Los Angeles riots broke out. In the aftermath of the Rodney King verdict and the burning rubble of South Central Los Angeles, people everywhere were asking themselves, “What can we do?” Rich and poor, movie stars and home- less, blacks, whites, Koreans, Hispanics, all were pitching in together to sweep up the debris and provide food and clothing to the riot victims. Community feeling was strong. People asked each other, “Why does it always seem to take a crisis to bring us together?” On the TV evening news, a volunteer street sweeper was inter- viewed. He was asked, “Do you think there’s some way that we can care for each other and cooperate to prevent this from happening again?” He answered, “We need to go back to the basic core values and have more heart, more understanding and compassion for each other.” This TV interview inspired me to write a little faster.
Understand that the heart is not just some quick fix. There are no quick fixes. But from my experience and the experiences of all my friends at the Institute, heart intelligence does provide sound answers and solid, long- term solutions. Everything else has been tried. Why not try going back to basics and really learn to love and care for each other at deeper, more sincere levels?