Protección de la autonomía y dignidad del menor

This theme elicits parents concerns with regards to the future of their adopted children.

Parents may foresee that their children may experience problems as a result of the transracial adoption, but it is not always possible to predict specific issues and questions which may be raised. A parent (E) stated: “I often wonder what’s it’s going to be like later at a later stage when he realizes that he is different, but I think we’ll cross that path when we get there.”

There was some concern about what black people might say because white parents were raising black children. A participant (C) commented: “I thought initially when we got him I thought you know with black people will perhaps give us hassles they were actually very positive and saying you know this is great.” The participant (C) reported, “I didn’t give a toss about what white people thought but I didn’t want him to be ostracized and kind of looked upon badly by the Xhosa nation.” They were concerned about how black people will respond and that they will be treated shoddily by the black population.

A mother (C) is of the opinion that “I think there’s going to be a bit of confusion I think you know with fellow Xhosa children and they talk about things that they are expecting him to understand.” A participant (C) responded, “there might be issues with Xhosa’s wondering why he wasn’t raised with there traditions.” A father (D) stated, “I think if anything his future will be easier in a lot of ways for him because I’m hoping that he will learn Xhosa at school.” This participant agreed that learning Xhosa in school would be to his son’s advantage in the future.

The children of the adoptive parents are still very young, therefore at this stage the children are not experiencing any prejudice and stereotypes from other racial groups. The parents are of the opinion that they might encounter problems when they start attending school. One of the participants (A) acknowledged: “I have thought about it, maybe he might have problems at school but I don’t know but you know we’ll just have to wait and see.” A parent (A) believes “once he goes to school, might he get teased, or will other children ask questions because he is a different colour to me.” A participant was of the opinion that their child would not experience problems while at school stating (F) “I don’t think he is going to have a lot of questions at school as to why his parents are white and he isn’t you know things like that and by that stage his going to know why because I’m going to be honest with him.”

All parents are concerned about their children’s future. A father (F) stated, “we do not know where South Africa is going in the future so I’m like any other parent concerned

about their sons future in South Africa ... his colour would help him there will be a lot of positions open for him because his black.”

Parents want the best for their children and do not want them to be ostracized and discriminated against and to be treated badly by society. Neither should their children experience stereotypical and prejudicial behaviour from others. However, this may not be prevented. A mother (A) reported, “what will I tell him if people tease him.” Being able to cope with situations, which may arise, may be a difficult process for parents. A father (F) confirmed, “he’s going to have a few racist things like white kaffir he is just a white kaffir.” This participant (F) believes that his son should be able to defend himself should the need arise and reported: “I want him to know how to hit back I’m not saying go out there and hit people but if somebody out there hits him and he will know how to hit back.” Therefore, the need will arise for parents to explain why people behave in this particular manner and a mother (A) stated, “I think we need to explain to him it’s not because of him it’s just that it’s the other person that’s at fault it’s not because of you being black.”

Issues may arise. However there can never be any certainty that their children will experience anything specific. It is important for parents to constantly be aware of problems which may arise. A participant (A) reported, “one needs to be aware of it you know if something does come up.” A parent (A) is of the opinion that the situation in South Africa is changing, stating, “things are changing so quickly he might grow up without anything in the end and you sit and worry about something that’s not going to happen.” A parent (E) reported, “any problems by the time he is bigger, I think everyone will be used to it by then you know mm I can not think of anything that will cause problems.”

Issues pertaining to the adoptee’s biological parents may be raised by the adoptee at a later stage. A mother (A) reported, “how to explain to him why his biological mother had to give him up we just hope that he will understand and wouldn’t impact negatively on him.”