As discussed in the literature (see 1.5.1), dominant discourses around single mothers often positioned them as a social threat, linked to reliance on benefits and associated with poor parenting364. But even though the mothers in this study reported experiencing negative and stigmatising attitudes at times, they generally presented themselves as resilient and resourceful, intent on improving their own and their child(ren)’s situations through their practices of agency. As highlighted by the work of Tischler and others365 who researched single mothers’
experiences, the participants for their study adopted a range of strategies which included developing support networks, education and employment and developing ‘good’ parenting skills.
4.2.3.1 Support networks
A key strategy for some of the participants in combatting isolation and meeting childcare needs was to develop their own support networks, for both practical needs (primarily childcare) as well as emotional support. Most had a degree of informal childcare support where needed (ie, if their children were still young enough) from their child(ren)’s father(s). Just over half had parents, other family members or a current (non-cohabiting) partner who were able to help with childcare, though for the majority this was occasional rather than on a daily, or even weekly basis and often limited due to geographical and travel constraints. A small number were able to rely on a close friend, for example for last-minute childcare if they fell ill or other mothers from school for ‘swaps’. Two were involved in sports clubs, which provided an existing structure and within which they had supportive friendship groups.
Several participants actively sought out the company of other single mothers because “you realise you’re in the same boat”, and can understand the circumstances they face. One participant enthusiastically described a community centre which held occasional ‘single parent days’ providing activities as well as information and advice sources for lone parents366. Some social environments were identified as “a bit smugly married”, and one mother summed it up as follows:
364 See Duncan and Edwards, ibid; Roseneil and Mann, ibid.
365 See, for example, Tischler, ibid, and Ponsford ibid.
366 This was a single parent's ‘fair’, originally organised by a local, voluntary church group which is free and aimed at all lone parents (offering crafts and activities for parents and children as well as stalls providing financial and other advice).
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“You feel like the odd one out … so [it’s] really good to hang around with people in the same situation, get some advice and hear that other people go through the same thing as you … because I do have problems with my ex and access issues and all those types of things and I’d love to be able to chat to somebody about the situation – all my friends are happily married … talking to single mums would be incredibly helpful”.
‘P’, mid-40s, two children
Some participants engaged actively in seeking out women in similar situations, explaining how important it was to interact and network for information-gathering.
I would argue that this could be viewed as an example of social capital in action, which previous studies identified as an important strategy for developing support networks for access to childcare and other resources367. Several had found ways to link up with other single mothers across Bristol, particularly through Facebook groups and (to a lesser extent) through single mother groups organised by local children’s centres or childcare facilities. As well as being a source of emotional support, these provided a practical purpose, for example, one was involved in a support group relating to her child’s disability. Through networking with other single mothers, they were able to share useful information about resources, as well as establishing their own structures which included meet-ups and babysitting swaps.
Two of the participants had no family or a partner who would/could help with childcare or other support. However, those with very limited social contacts, or living under special circumstances such as caring for a disabled child described how they were too constrained by time and meeting the needs of their children to explore any substantive opportunities outside of their immediate locality. Some, though were able to find local and low cost/free solutions, with one participant involved in organising a parent-led, after-school club and others active in their locally-organised ‘playing out’ sessions - where a street was closed off for local children to play safely368.
367 Duncan and Edwards, ibid.
368 www.playingout.net – this initiative started in South Bristol in 2007-8 where some streets are officially closed off for a period to allow children to play safely.
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4.2.3.2 Education and employment
Education and employment were identified as key ways for participants to take some control over their lives and try to resist aspects of poverty and reliance on the state. Paid work and study were described in positive ways which revealed that these activities not only provided a way out of poverty, but also as ways to maintain self-esteem, and to be (and be seen as) a ‘good’ role model for their children. Some had received state or local authority financial support such as help with university fees and to retrain, although this type of support would no longer be provided if they had applied at a later stage, following the introduction of austerity measures.
Those who had continued to work for less than they could claim in benefits, or for little more than the cost of covering childcare, described how they had felt happier working and wanted to maintain their ‘pride’, also saying that this was an important way to encourage their children, with two mothers saying:
“I want my [children] to see that you can have a career as a woman and that just because I’m on my own it doesn’t mean I can’t work – for the children’s sake I want them to see me as a working person with a career”
‘P’, mid-40s, two children
And:
“…you have a close bond with your child, a unique relationship. Your child has seen you go through terrible times so when they see you doing something useful you hope it will inspire them…”
‘R’, late 30s, one child
One participant, who had an arts background, was working on establishing a studio at the bottom of her garden for when her youngest child begins school at 5 years of age:
“I will keep the job and do the [arts] work the rest of the week. It’s taken all the time since I’ve been single to put the roof and doors on. I’ve been taking time and doing it as I can afford it…”
‘P’, mid-40s, two children
Previous research on single mothers’ employment circumstances found a concentration of single mothers working in low-paid sectors such as retail or
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caring work369. Some participants in this study worked in these sectors, for example, one was employed as an adult day-care assistant primarily and stated this was primarily because this fit with her responsibilities. However, there also appeared to be some resistance to this type of role. One participant described how she was being forced to apply for jobs for which she was over-qualified – retail roles in particular – though she was exploring options for self-employment to circumvent this and find a way which allowed her to better manage her work/childcare responsibilities. Job-seeking was more problematic for her as the pressure to constantly apply for jobs was extremely stressful, and though she had a good range of work experience in office jobs, she had found that such roles were not generally available for people with childcare responsibilities. This reflected the findings from previous research that initiatives established to find routes into employment regularly fail to account for their diverse needs370, and also that a ‘culture of fear’ remained evident for single mothers who faced benefits sanctions371. This participant was one of the cohort who were compelled to seek work or face possible sanctions – as described in section 1.3.4.3 - which might include non-payment of her benefits. At the time we spoke, her GP had diagnosed her with depression and she was ‘signed off’ for several weeks which she said had temporarily alleviated some of the stress.
Another participant, ‘F’, was a self-employed artist, and confirmed that “if I have to work for someone else I’d struggle with childcare” – as she would only be able to take a job with flexible working hours she would “end up in Tesco’s with a master’s degree”. ‘T’ had also retrained, becoming a childminder as a way to develop self-sufficiency and have flexible working conditions, saying:
“When I had my [child], it was better for me to become a childminder and look after [them] myself, with the money we made looking after other people’s children than it would have been to get separate childcare and me go back to work full-time: it suits me”
‘T’, late 30s, one child
369 For example, Haux et al, ibid, and Dutton et al, ibid.
370 Dewar, ibid.
371 www.parliament.uk, ibid.
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